My Gf kicked me out after finding out I had been gambling, she feels angry and upset about being lied to and about the money i seem to Lose. She doesn't know the total amount, over the years i hate to think what the real figure is... i acknowledge i lose too much doing it and waste too much time, so the other saturday i decided i needed to stop as it was obvious i was upsetting people and i needed to do it for myself, i have registerd for gam stop for 1 year and made logging into anything online impossible, should i be finding it harder than I am to completely stop? Saturdays would be the worse with so many matches on, i Have had money i could of deposited but i havent been interested, i want to do this for me, my gf said i have an illness im an addict and need professional help, i feel this is a bt strong but has got me questioning is she right or is it a case of if someone tells you you are something over and over you may actually start to believe them. I am happy carrying on just trying to curb it on my own, i feel i can, if i feel i cant then i know there are next steps i can take, sorry if this seems like a rant but ive never been in a situation like this before, can i just wake up one day and say, you know what im done with all this, i have been taking time into doing other things mainly ebay but am i being too complacent with it, after all it has only been 2 weeks. just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation?
its the same for most......i started here in 2015 wanted to control it.....thought i didnt have a problem..... best thing i did was to look at my previous 5 years bank statements, a real eye opener
from then on i started a spreadsheet to monitor my spending and wrote down income and outgoings.... since then its taken three years to first manage to stop completely and another three years to control my other vices......
All in all im now financially stable, own a flat and am healthy and stress free.....
do this to see if u have a problem
then these are my tips if u have a problem
Number 1:
GET BLOCKS IN PLACE
Gamstop for online
Moses for local bookies
And Sense for uk casinos
It’s essential to do them all (you may say i only ever gamble online, or i only ever gamble in bookies) but down the line when you want to scratch that gambling itch or are impulsive like myself, Online, bookies and casinos become tempting.
Number 2:
When you get paid, pay all bills then transfer rest to a loved one for safe keeping. Then it’s not in ur account waiting for the moment ur tempted by gambling its safe and sound and if you do really need it it’s there (either that or start to pay off highest interest debt each month (this will help massively),
I transfer my money to my dad and have saved a lot over the years.
I top up my sainsburys card each month when i get paid for food shopping.
Number 3:
Limit the damage you can do with one visit to town:
The number of times in the past i’ve visited a cash machine for the bookies until i can’t get any more cash out!!!! Let’s save that!!!!
U can limit cash withdrawals (just ask your bank)
You can not take your cards out (more difficult)
You can just take cash then all you can lose is that cash.
There is two step verification that your partner or parents can authorise your payments. (i’ve heard this is great)
Number 4:
With this new life away from gambling you will no doubt try to life a new healthy lifestyle (one step at a time) i found that drinking was clouding my judgement and making me gamble, smoking was inhibiting my breathing, drugs id also done in the past caused my mental well being to go down and these all led my weight, stress levels and ability to do well at work to diminish. It took a breakdown in 2018 for me to realise all these habits needed to stop so i stopped one at a time to give me a better chance, smoking 2016, drinking 2018, gambling 2019…..
MAKE 2023 UR YEAR FOR A FRESH LIFESTYLE< KEEP ME POSTED ADAM…….
Hi Snooprog,
Try & conquer 1 addiction at a time. Put all the blocks necessary in place for your GAMBLING addiction. Confront the rest later.
Best Wishes
AL
Thanks, all useful to know, what were your other vices Adam if you dont mind me asking
Hi Snooprog,
We're all fighting our own demons including those who don't gamble. Every day life is a struggle for most folk. Weight, expenditure, whatever, even the cost of living & navigating our way through it. Unfortunately if you're a CG you can't find the strength to tackle other issues until you've tackled whatever is the basis of your unhappiness. When you're a CG it's like being cannon fodder for the gambling dens until you get to the stage where you believe that's all your worth. When your self- worth's gone there's only 2 choices, change it or accept it. I'm skinny ( really skinny ), when I take my shirt off I look like an Oxfam appeal.
I truly aspire to the day I can take my shirt off on a hot summers day & not feel inferior, I look forward to the day I can stop gouging on chocolate bars in order to look "NORMAL", truly looking forward to treating myself every now & then without worrying about the cost ( as long as it's not a bet ). Hopefully those days will come, but for now one day at a time, I remain humble, grateful for the life I have without gambling. Don't try & bite off more than you can chew, one addiction at a time.
Sincere Best Wishes
AL
Hi Snooprog,
Your GF is right and she is not being OTT. It is an illness that needs treating to a small or large degree, depending on the addict's state of mind.
It is so hard to completely stop, but it is the only way. 2 weeks is a great start, but you have to really commit in your 'heart of hearts' before you will progress on the journey, otherwise you will inevitably lapse.
Hi, well i smoked weed everyday for fifteen years along with using other recreational drugs like C*****e, ecstacy etc....
But gave that all up when i got skitsophrenia back in 2008....
But replaced this with gambling.... alcohol and smoking ciggerettes.... needed to stop all in the end...
All the best Adam
1 year gamstop isn't enough. Do the 5 years. If you're reluctant to do the 5 years, then you DO have a problem as you want to be able to gamble again after the year.
Totally agree & if you relapse be honest & re-adjust your GF day count if day counts are important to you.
Best
AL
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