fobt's ruining me...

Hi Pete , Sorry to sound harsh mate but in your post you still sound so excited talking about your losing bets and to be honest if your trying to stop I really can't get my head around that one ?.

It's still obviously about the buzz and trying to get money back youv'e lost , if you really want to embrace your recovery and stop ? , then do that !.

It's pretty obvious that you can't control the betting , like you said " A few footy bets led you straight back to the Fobt's in the bookies , mate ! nothing changes, if nothing changes !!.

You have to let go of the past losses , stop chasing , forget it and move on . Most of us on here , me included couldn't ever have another bet , we are compulsive gamblers , we cannot win because we cannot stop , simple as that ! I'm not judging you it's just my opinion and you will as always have my unconditional support but you have to decide what you want ?.

Take care for now my friend !

Alan

Hi Pete and Alan. I've only been on the site just over a week but I've been betting on them machines for 5 years too. I came on here and listened to the advice of people, including Alan and even though it's only been 11 days I havnt even been tempted to have a bet. I know it's not long but for the time being the advice I've had from the guys and girls on here as just change my perspective on gambling. I'm only 23 so I've still got time to mess things up for myself too much. I used to bet on the horses mostly, chucking 100s on at a time and it's been a busy week for horse racing this week especially Boxing Day, but I just havnt been bothered about it. Still early days for me but I'm feeling confident I can change and so should you. Sounds like you were doing well starting to get a grip on your life, but like Alan says I believe it's 1 or the other. Bet or don't bet. We bet for the buzz not for the money so we'll never be satisfied by walking in the bookies and leaving with a fiver. The buzz will never go in that case. Accept what's gone and start the new year with a fresh slate. Good luck and all the best

P's sorry for the typo's had a tipple haha

Hi Pete.

Hand them the exclusion form and the photograph. I felt so serene like it was all flowing out of me. See the looks of the other customers some of whom are lifted and say the machines should never have come to the high street. It was a release for a couple of people to talk about it

I could see most people that overheard liked my positivity.

I must say that if you are not ready to do that, you are not ready to quit. Your mind is just not ready and you will continue to lose money until the real blocking measures start

This year was the worst of my life and it took me 10 months to start taking the right steps. You could say it took me 38 years to start dealing with it properly although I have never gambled to the degree I did this year.

Through counselling I will talk through why I didnt want to do anything much in town but head to machines. That money has gone and I dont dwell on what I could have had with it. I use my coping systems like a footballer would have spent that one evening with his mates etc etc

To a point its only money and I carry on now paying my way and making the most out of the life I have

All the best

I'm new to quitting gambling aswell, I got paid today and have walked past 2 bookies on my own with money on me and walked into a bookies with my freind who wanted to gamble but I gave my wallet to my girlfreind and I still haven't gambled. What I'm thinking though is it okay to have a £5 bet on the footie over the weekend? I'm certain I can just do a one off bet and walk out of the bookies without laying down any more money, is this just a stupid idea and is it better to just leave gambling all together or is a light hearted bet to make the footie more fun acceptable? I mean I have always enjoyed an accumalator on a Saturday watching the scores come through and my only serious problem is casinos and fobt machines, any advice or anything will be much apriciated because I'm really confused and don't want to ruin what iv worked hard to stop.

thanks

H

Harryh123 wrote:

I'm new to quitting gambling aswell, I got paid today and have walked past 2 bookies on my own with money on me and walked into a bookies with my freind who wanted to gamble but I gave my wallet to my girlfreind and I still haven't gambled. What I'm thinking though is it okay to have a £5 bet on the footie over the weekend? I'm certain I can just do a one off bet and walk out of the bookies without laying down any more money, is this just a stupid idea and is it better to just leave gambling all together or is a light hearted bet to make the footie more fun acceptable? I mean I have always enjoyed an accumalator on a Saturday watching the scores come through and my only serious problem is casinos and fobt machines, any advice or anything will be much apriciated because I'm really confused and don't want to ruin what iv worked hard to stop.

thanks

H

Hi.

Triggers on different types of gambling is a contentious issue but I would say that you cant be in any environment where the fobts are. You actually need to self exclude from all these places in your area. You should right now be excluded from anywhere with machines.

Walking past the bookies on one day is NOT the test. Ive passed that test but the next day or week would be gambling again on machines

Let me say that I will allow myself the lottery in future and I will tell you why. I have played twice with one line in the last four months. Its not my trigger because I understrand the odds which depress me. I allow myself that what if chance very occasionally and I dont actually like handing over £2.

Must all gambling be given up? Most would say yes. I dont know your history with football betting. Would it stress you so much not to bet at all? Have you got a strong close relationship helping you manage your money.

You say you walk in with a friend which sets the alarm bells ringing and could show a casual approach to a serious problem. I know you handed your wallet over but you would feel better and prove yourself by not being in that environment. Gambling almost ruined me this year and I am still clearing a rent debt.

You have to be deadly serious about it. Talk it through at home and it will be interesting to see what others on the forum say. I think everyone close needs to know your thoughts about any bet.

Talk to a gamcare advisor or counsellor

all the best and please put those exclusion measures in place

Hi joy divider,

i have previously self excluded from bookies only to go to a different one and lose all of my money there, I am banned from all online betting sites also which has actually helped!

handing money over to people that love me has also been tricky seeing as I have lied and got angry trying to get money to gamble, football betting has never been a problem however I know it will open the doors for a cheeky spin on the machine and as soon as that happens I'm on a slippery slope. I think for now the very best thing to do is just stay well away from all types of gambling and see how things are in a month or two, the problem is that I will always be surrounded by gambling which is a very daunting thought, the urges to gamble have been quite hard to get over and subconsciously trying to justify it stupid of me but it's just the urges getting the better of me!

9 days gamble free

feeling better although sometimes confused.

thanks.

H.

Harryh123 wrote:

Hi joy divider,

i have previously self excluded from bookies only to go to a different one and lose all of my money there, I am banned from all online betting sites also which has actually helped!

handing money over to people that love me has also been tricky seeing as I have lied and got angry trying to get money to gamble, football betting has never been a problem however I know it will open the doors for a cheeky spin on the machine and as soon as that happens I'm on a slippery slope. I think for now the very best thing to do is just stay well away from all types of gambling and see how things are in a month or two, the problem is that I will always be surrounded by gambling which is a very daunting thought, the urges to gamble have been quite hard to get over and subconsciously trying to justify it stupid of me but it's just the urges getting the better of me!

9 days gamble free

feeling better although sometimes confused.

thanks.

H.

Hi harryh123.

I went to the nearest food shop and noticed there are two bookies there which I have never been interested in and have never been near the door. Its been a centre of town thing for me. Im working it through. Town depresses me and I would always rationalise starting "with a little flutter to cheer myself up by winning a bit of money". Thats the illness and addiction right there. If it was guaranteed to win a bit there would be a queue down the street. I could never stop so it was something I should NOT have been doing

I will tell you where gambling got me this year...£2000 thrown away and a very strained family relationship based on no trust in me being able to handle money. Its made a poor financial situation far far worse. I could actually have done ok with some financial care and no gambling

Thats what gambling did for me. Thats what I have to focus on and Im sure gambling has done a similar thing to you.

Im also working through why it took me 10 months to finally do what others were advising.

I hope you can find any place you have been in, hand the photo form and say escort me out if you see me even trying to get in. I feel better. like a real weight off. I know will expend my exclusions if anything worries me about control

Ive seen some sights this year that I never wanted to see. People shouting and banging the machines. Depressed looking people emptying their purses and wallets. People returning from cash machines to lose more.

One guy who was pacing around and muttering in a foreign language, looked quite mentally ill. he would wave his money in the air, feed some more in and announce with his few words of english that he was losing thousands. Even the cashier came over (mainly because he was upsetting other people) but he looked beyond help to be honest. I cant tell people in that state to take it easy and knock the gambling on the head. I was unnerved but I was doing the same thing to a lesser degree. I had to leave and I hope that guy is excluded but I doubt it somehow

I never want to experience that environment again. Its not heathy and I was never a gambler in control. Im sorry but I see them as sad sad places full of addicts. Somebody should have handed me a mirror.

Ive finally taken some positive steps and Im waiting for a doctors counselling letter. I am now considering a ga meeting.

Anyway all the very best

Pete,

I've been in the GA program for 4 months now and I haven't had a bet since 28 August last year. One of teh principles of GA is you can't have one single bet ever again. Gambling teaches you to crave the near miss and it could be FOBT or the football or whatever. Sorry to sound harsh but saying I'm quittung this form of gambling but I'll continue with this, this, the national lottery etc. I'm sorry but that doesn't wash. Someone else mentioned you are still getting the buzz. You arent associating gambling with negative feelings but positive ones. Please go to GA and see what its like before its too late.