Started gambling aged 6 at my grandparents town of Weymouth . Mum didn’t want me to go to the penny arcades and my dad said it would be ok . The more resistance my mum put up the more I kind of wanted to go.
So years as a child spent waiting until I went back to Weymouth for that half an hour in the arcades .
Get to the age of 18 and that’s where it started . Went to University but dropped out second year as was working part time that turned into full time to cover the addiction . Shipley’s arcades and bookmakers .
So I get to late 20’s with about 20k’s worth of debt .
At the age of 30 my girlfriend at the time suggested I go to GA. I did and was clean for 2 years and even became chairman . However , I split with this girl , started again gambling and met my current partner who I married .
So when we got married I was earning good money . It seemed I could juggle this double life . We brought a house and then she became pregnant with our first child , giving up work which lasted 6 years with no extra income and me still gambling .
My / our debts became 35k and she knew about it . We entered a DMP which I have completed 3 months ago .
I even finished my university course part time and graduated.
I still have around 20k or other debts which you can argue are good debts with a new car for her and other bits and pieces .
We now have around 60k equity in our house after moving again and next December Looking to remortgage and clear everything. However won’t consider this until I have a few months under my belt GF.
My title says graduating from a newbie . I have just done 10 days GF and feel at a much different and better place already . This site is helpful but I think it’s becuase only now I have truly been honest with myself about my gambling and have called time on it
Day 11
Nothing troubling really and no thought of gambling . Been planning debt payments . However due to my gambling and also an inefficient boiler I am £800 in debit with Scottish power . Was paying £200 a month to clear the arrears but last month cancelled the direct debit due to gambling . All other bills have now come out . Must call the power tomorrow and explain the situation. Also called Halifax as I have a £5k overdraft again from gambling . Getting charges of around £3.85 a day . Halifax used to have an account where they can apply control which waived charges for 6 months which they don’t offer anymore . They said as I am not over any limits if I can live with the charges then it doesn’t get passed over to any money team . Have to run with it as they don’t take any of your wages from it by demanding it being paid back in full . Can solve this over the next few months and have a much better lifestyle . I have thought a few times today how the hell I still managed to run the household , go on holidays and still gamble .
Welcome to the recovery diaries forum. Well done on being so open, wish you all the best. Scott
Welcome to the recovery diaries forum. Well done on being so open, wish you all the best. Scott
Thanks Scott . With stopping gambling for me it’s like a comparison of driving a car . Can do it but now need to pass the theory test !!
Welcome Vulture get stuck in here and life will be good.
Day 12
Another day under my belt . Only thoughts of gambling were that I finished work early as started early . Chance to witness the daughters swimming lesson . On way gambling flashed through my head regarding placing a football bet for tomorrow . Put it to the back of my mind only time I am thinking about it now is typing this. Thoughts gone already ! Still need to speak to gas supplier we had lost the key to open the meter but I have one now ! Feel in a better place than 12 days ago , thanks for anyone who comments / reads this
Day 13
Brother in law sent me screen shots of his football bets but I didn’t care to be honest . Called Scottish power yesterday told them I was a CG. They said I had made payment arrangements before and broke them and can’t do anything for a week when I call them back . Played monopoly with the kids (lost ! Lol) and cleaned car inside and out . So far so good
Day 14
Solid day took my son to a trampoline party while wife was at work and daughter at her Grandmothers. Told the wife last night about me using the forum and if she wonders what I am doing on the phone it’s on that and not gambling she accepted that without asking for any details of the last bet I had 14 days ago. Wounds will heal themselves financially over time . Was even allowed a 2 hour sleep this afternoon , a luxury and also something that I don’t think could have managed 2 weeks ago . Kids now asking me to play a board game, going to be Cleudo this time , again normal day to day things that I am taking an interest in. No thoughts of gambling today , one day at a time and not being complacent .
Congratulations 2 weeks gf.
Looks like your children are managing to fill your time lol!
All good wishes x
Day 15
I know it’s esrly days but consulted my mortgage person today sent all info over to try and see if anything can be done to clear all my debts and free up £1k a month . Obviously control of the money will be with the wife but it’s something I do need to address . Wife is going with kids to Poland mid February so I will have a plan in place to keep me on the straight and narrow . No thoughts of gambling today , long may it continue
Day 16
The most stressful day of them all....
As you may or may not know in September i finished a five and a half year DMP paid the lot off. Since then taken a couple of loans out plus a car loan for the wife and with all other debts it’s mounting up so spoke today about a remortgage. Yes I will give up some equity but be on a much better % of interest for the house and start afresh freeing up around £1k a month straight from my salary to save / life properly ...or so I thought . Paid for my Experian file and an account I owed £1k on over 6 years ago had been settled and paid . However I increased my payments to them last year but they marked on my file as late as the agreed payment didn’t match. Anyway it’s killed my credit score . Turns out I would be in a much better position had I not even bothered paying them back .the cost of making amends hey ? Anyway got to wait until at least March or even May to review it again . Tried contesting it but no good they won’t change the file. Even got a supporting letter from the DMP who said I never missed a payment but it won’t make the score any different ! Was stressed but then I think ok it’s only a couple of months . Told the mortgage guy I am a CG so for two or three months of no gambling on bank statements plus a couple more months GF will be a good thing . Didn’t want to gamble didn’t think of gambling
Day 17
No thoughts or urges . Financially a friend I lent £20 to who promised it back today can’t pay me for 2 weeks. Would have normally annoyed me but to be honest I don’t care . I don’t get paid for 2 weeks and I don’t have any spare money for myself (wife has access not me) . I have empathy with my firiend he’s waiting for his student loan so I know it was horrible asking someone for money , been there so many times myself. Anyway I have about £10 in a pool night to my name not £30 so will have to drive into town instead of walking and having beer . I see this not as my friends fault but more mine for the stupid situation I have got myself into over the years
So change of plan I was given some money from the wife and went up town . Told some of my pool team about my gambling and they accepted it as they are not stupid! Same routine I order 3 pints take 1 and pay for 3 so that I don’t gamble may change . Had extra money on me and am pleased to say didn’t gamble . There are 3 fruit machines at the club and previously I would have put everything in. Not this time . I broke the habit ! Another friend in my pool team who doesn’t have a pit to pi$$ in was saying how he is playing online only plays 40p spins . Had won £100 , lost £50 , won some and now had £60 in his account but always carried on until he lost it. Didn’t comment on his losses or wins but informed him that when I was fighting a non payout case against a casino I got my spreadsheet showing my gambling for that night . Progressed to £30 a spin . I mean really ? £30 a spin ? Just had a night out and ended up having 4 pints for £12 . Now that value for money , no effing £30 a spin
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Hi Vulture. Thanks for the posts on my thread, and delighted to see how well you are doing. Amazing how little you can spend whilst having a good time when not gambling. I also think its been useful telling my mates about the problem, as otherwise their natural instinct is to start every question with "did you have a bet on ...", "what do you think is going to win the x", "going to the races on the weekend, will you text me some tips" .... on the latter, remember texting my mate some tips for York a couple of years ago and got 7 out of 7, whilst not putting a bet on myself. No words of thanks but he moaned at me next time when I only gave him 4!! £30 a spin .. as you say, I think when you're on-line the money doesn't seem real ... my biggest ever bet was £4,000 on a game of blackjack ... got two tens, so split them and then doubled ...by the time that had happened I was either £16,000 up or £16,000 down on turn of a card .... ridiculous and just didn't seem real ... wouldn't dream of putting more than £50 on a horse at the races. Gambling gives you a very bizarre relationship with money ... I'd feel guilty spending £50 on a night out and then put thousands on a game of blackjack .... well done on the gamble free days ... I honestly reckon we can both crack this ... Cheers. Rich
Thanks for this Rich , it really perked me up. I think with these diaries you post and you think no one is noticing as you have no comments . There is a danger for me that having gone past a couple of weeks someone may think you are fine , you don’t need any support and concentrate on the new people posting ! I’m sure we can beat this , so far so good and thanks again for giving me a boost
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