Gambled after one year in the clear

Thanks Dan

Yes already with Gamstop . Thankfully I am now banned on all sites in Europe and America now so shouldn’t be able to do it

Also happy I could have maxed out all of my cards to around 10k but didn’t I saw sense when in the midst of it . I’m still shaking with adrenaline about 2 hours after

I did tell a close friend and he is supportive like he was before during and after my last year of stopping

I’m more determined now than I was before I gambled to stop . It’s a horrible illness and I know that it’s going to take more work to keep it at bay

That’s what worries me about GamStop, that there will be sites still accessible to moments of weakness. Though I guess it is up to us to not go searching for them.

Yes, take it as a lesson learnt and move on now mate.

Think about why you were looking.

Alongside mechanical barriers you will also need to identify and address what's driving this. Counselling? GA? Mr L credits regular attendance at GA with keeping him grounded.

Pressure of house for sale , work , relationships , kids perhaps . I also forgot how destructive gambling can be and it was sanitised to me as it’s been over a year since I did it . How wrong was I ? GA I did before but didn’t work

I moved this post into New members . If you are just reading this I did 370 days gamble free and had my first gamble today since last Xmas Eve 2017 . Hopefully I can’t do it again so I’m leaning on you all for support and wisdom

I feel very sad to read of your gambling. I really thought you were home and dry.

You now need to stay strong Bryan because you will probably be teased and tormented by remorse, thoughts of gambling and the excitement of the adrenaline rush you experienced. You have partied with the gambling demons and they will try their damnedest to hold on to you and rob you of even more.

Gambling addiction is such an insidious affliction. When we are beset by problems or need a shoulder to cry on, it lures us in and than destroys us. My thoughts are with at this time and I sincerely hope you can bury this in the past and continue on your gamble free journey ...stephen

Thanks Stephen . If one other person doesn’t gamble after reading this then I will be happy . It’s a reality check but on the positive side , I’m being honest and haven’t gone underground . My life is so much better from that last year , finances are good (although bruised a little today ) and I have other things in my life with a good future to look forward to . A Caribbean holiday has been paid for and things are good at home . Just makes you wonder why I bothered gambling, what was I hoping to achieve ? I’m all ears for anyone to offer advice as I certainly don’t have all the answers !!

Hey Bryan.
The sun will always rise in the morning. I know you feel bad about your relapse but focus on the fact you came to your senses and stopped. I have read your thread and I know you can put this behind you. It makes me realise that I can never become complacent. None of us can be. It will always be there but we can't let it back in. Please don't be to hard on yourself and stay strong my friend. We are all in it together. Keep your chin up and look to the positives.

Marcella

Thanks a million for your input . If I’m honest I’m feeling a bit like a fraud having given advice to people over the last year but ended up being a pathetic addict . As I said before I hope it helps people like yourself to realise that it’s a fragile balance between abstaining and doing your nuts in. If you remain gamble free through my slip then it’s not been in vain . I will take positives out of this and regroup. I think that it could have been so much worse . The good thing about this site and my support network is that I can never gamble with the same feeling . You gamble with remorse and that can only be a good thing . I have probably 40 years of life ahead of me so one day of a gamble isn’t going to send me into a spiral of it . It’s insignificant when you look at it in that context and I have really improved where my quality of life will not suffer moving forward because I had a self imposed STOP button which I didn’t have in the past . I guess I wanted a taste of what I thought I was missing out on but know for sure it’s a poison fruit

Hi Bryan, just wanted to drop by and wish you well going forward. I'm in such early days right now that it is kind of a good lesson to read stories such as yours. How you can't let your guard down, I feel like this. My worst moments would be where I just would think, oh ten mins spare, I’ll just try a quick ten pounds... so, congratulations on a whole year, and I know you will do it again!

Thanks Lil30 it means a lot . As I have stated my mindset is completely different to a year ago . It’s a bad day and I know I shouldn’t have been weak and gambled . Hands up I will admit it but you have to make a positive out of it . If I hadn’t moved on in my life or as a person then it would be a problem. . I will see this as a non gambler who had a mad day and gambled not a gambler who was just abstaining

So you've identified why you wanted to numb things out for a while. Now, while this is fresh in your mind is the time to plan for strategies to cope next time without resorting to the old destructive patterns.

Maybe consider GA again too. At the very least it's a regular reminder of why gambling cannot have a part in your life. Complacency is an enemy. It's a means of guarding against it.

Taking the positives if someone had said to me you will gamble once in a year and your life and finances will be much better I would probably have snapped their hand off . A year ago I wouldn’t have returned to this site and would have kept gambling until there was nothing left to gamble with , all lines of credit had been exhausted and my loans from friends would have been exhausted . Whilst I realise that any slip is bad I’m trying to not beat myself up over it and know I have what it takes to get over this recent loss

Hi Bryan. You gambled because you chose to. A slip is sometimes a learning curve. A lesson. GA won't work if you don't want it to. The thing is you know what to do, where to go. You have access to money therefore you can gamble. Why can't you confess? Why is it a secret? Trust. In my eyes as the wife of a compulsive gambler, it's not my trust in him, it's the fact he doesn't trust himself. It is expected that you will have a slip, we are human. It's what you do now that will aid your recovery. All I want is honesty, that in my opinion is the basis of recovery. Your addiction wants you to keep it secret.

I’ve told my friend so I’m not hiding anything . Just don’t want to worry the wife as she doesn’t understand any of it . She just gets money from me month to month and I pay all the bills . It’s better she doesn’t know this time as I’m pretty sure our relationship will be over . It’s not a risk I’m going to take and the addiction can’t manifest itself anymore due to the new blocks I have in place