Gambled after one year in the clear

Hi vulture, read some of your posts and just want to congratulate you on your gf journey so far.
Good to hear you're enjoying some quality time with your children, I bet they loved it!
With regards to keeping your posts brief, you write for as long as you like. If it helps you, then write away. . .
I've written essays in the past to the samaritans and maybe even a few on here and I've always felt better for it in the end.
It must be difficult for you having the fruit machines in the pub. Don't let the temptation of them drag you back down.
Keep up the good work.
All good wishes x

Hi little miss lost . Thanks for the encouragement . The fruit machine really wasn’t a problem to me . Didn’t notice it until after around an hour which was progress even though I have been in the same place many many times . One thing I forgot to mention in my diary was about the weekend . For some strange reason it actually felt like a 3 day one . Normally they rush by . Can only put it down to unplugging myself from the thoughts and acts of gambling and being more focussed on normal life

Day 23

Today is a great day . Got a phone call at work from my mortgage guy . The Argos card saga won’t be a problem to our remortgage . High st lender looked at my case and saw that I did everything possible in my DMP . Defaults drop off my file end of feb so they can change my mortgage to probably a 1.9% one instead of the 5.5% one I have . Will clear everything I will still have a good amount of equity and free up £900 a month servicing my debt and other things . The repayments will likely be less than my mortgage is now (the price I paid for gambling in the past ) . I am totally aware that some advice is not to do this but the gear change in myself and also the blocks in place I won’t be a slave to gambling anymore . My mortgage guy knows I gambled and I must keep my bank statements clean for the next couple of months . Such a relief I don’t want to give out all that money each month simply treading water . Confided in the wife more last night about my feelings and how I have distanced myself from everything got to work on my relationship with her . She has been great . Tonight went spinning at the gym then watched the daughter do her swimming lesson. Absolutely no thoughts of gambling I can smell the roses and they smell fantastic .

Hello Vulture

Sounds good on the money front. Personally i say do what works for you. To me there is no reason to make an extra effort to punish yourself any more than you have to financially just to make a point. We all know what we've done and we all wish it hadn't gone so far. The ultimate goal is to just get on with a "normal" GF life. Some people manage to even stay out of debt but that isn't to say they didn't or are not suffering from the results of the addiction.

To me its about awareness of our triggers and the potential consequences of our actions. There doesn't have to be a debt for us to remember where we have and can end up again if we allow ourselves to gamble once its become a problem/compulsive.

Glad you have been able to enjoy your family time too. Its what its all about.

Thanks sjwsjw I have punished myself for the last 7 years to clear the DMP and went without a lot for myself (obviously the kids and wife were well looked after ) I am enjoying the benefits already of not gambling (non financial) and I need some kind of closure on it all. By killing everything off, closing any credit cards off and loans then I can finally get the millstone from around my neck . Otherwise I will still be a slave to it financially in another 7 years time . One of the issues like most gamblers is to try and win to clear debts . Without these debts and the equivalent of a 15k a year pay rise , there is a lot less motivation to gamble . It would make no sense .

Thanks for the post on my diary and wanted to pop by and say hello! Great news on the mortgage, and love how optimistic the last few posts have been ... you seem to be great at focusing on going forwards, which is what I need to do ... although I’m trudging forwards a bit more miserably than you, I genuinely know we’re both going to crack this. Rich

Hi Rich thanks for making me feel part of the community . Whilst I am aware it’s early days , it feels different this time for me . I have reached out to this site and people like yourself have kept me going in my recovery . Appreciative of you taking the time out of your day to post here and I am sure we will check in with each other shortly

Hi Vulture,

wanted to pop by and wish you well with your recovery. It's great to read how positive you are after some difficult years. Will check in with you when I can.

Wilsy

Thanks Wilsy for your support it means a lot

Hi,

Well done mate, i am in a similar position to you and am considering remortgaging once again to clear debts but have yet to confide to my wife the latest binge and damage i have done .. i will need to tell her soon as i am sure she will find out pretty soon and that will be alot worse.

Keep up the good work.

Harry

1Thanks Harry33 for the post . I see you have done 7 days which is great ! I have given it a lot of thought and the money part is a burden and I want to move on to a new stage in my life . However I have also read a few stories here where a re mortgage is just a way of racking up debts again which I simply can’t and won’t do. I suggest you do the same as me and buy a subscription to Experian and let the Mrs have access . Jointly close down every credit account once paid off . Then sit back and enjoy the benefits of not gambling financially and focus on yourself as a person . That’s certainly what I will do and I have been given a second chance in life to succeed

Day 24

Evening all. For some reason yesterday I couldn’t get to sleep . 12am. 1am kept moving around and then 2am on my clock . Was up at 7am for work , must have been my mind working overtime it hasn’t happened for a long time , suppose it’s a normal side effect of going cold turkey ! Today was busy at work , then home and helped with the kids then a pool match tonight . Wasn’t tempted by the fruit machines at all. Didn’t have much time to check this website out today which is a good thing in one respect as I kept busy . Got a letter through from my credit card increasing the limit from £300 to £1200. From learning about my credit score it’s better to have a large limit but very low amounts on it . My wife knows about it and has the card so no issues to me . Was thinking about all the times that happened on other cards in the past and it definitely was a trigger to gamble . Thinking about when you can do it , what game you are going to play , etc etc . This time honestly for the first time for probably 20 years I thought ok this is decent for my future credit score and if my wife ever needed anything in an emergency it’s there . Won’t dwell on it as it’s not a relevant factor in my life personally . To anyone on here old and new , please feel free to say hi

My credit card company added 1k of credit to my card without me asking back when i was gambling on it too. Annoyingly thats where most of my debt still sits and the APR aint kind. I got a letter from them yesterday offering me another credit card funnily enough (no thank you). Like you say when you are a compuslive gambler still in action its more funds to use. I still think for me the safer option is to lower the limits as i pay them off just to be safe. I don't honestly NEED anywhere near the level of credit i have available to me.

I need to get myself out and find a good pub with a nice pool table! I played in a weekly team before i moved and it was a good night out. Do like a game.

As for sleep, i seemed to sleep fine most of the time at the start. The only thing that i had happen a few times was gambling dreams. A couple of times i wasn't sure if i had actually gambled or not and had to check my online banking to make sure. Crazy how the mind works and what we did to it.

Hope you are doing OK

Hi again thanks for popping by . You should go out and play pool . It’s a decent game but one of the things I prefer is snooker . With pool you play a team match and you could be there for 3 hours , play 2 games and maybe get one shot as there could be two 8 balls . Snooker you are there and play constantly !

Yes doing ok today had to speak to the bank and bring my overdraft under the agreed limits as they were talking about collections department and I couldn’t have anything evil showing on my credit file . No thoughts of gambling . Guess we can call this entry day 25 ! Hope things are good with you too

I was pretty good at pool. Snooker, nah. Tables too big. Highest break was 27, clearing the colours lol.