Gambling has ruined my relationship and my mind

Hello Adam, 

Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out for support. You have taken such a positive step by doing so and i am sure you will get a lot of support here from our other members. 

From what you said, gambling has had a huge impact on you over the last 8 years. I am sorry to hear that you feel it has ruined your life. This sounds really difficult for you. I wonder if you have anyone around you who is able to support you through this?

I am pleased to see that you are ready and wanting to make a change and coming here is the first step to that. You might also like to speak to one of our advisers. They are available 24/7 on our helpline on 0808 8020 133 and livechat to talk about how this has impacted your life and how you want to move forward. They are able to offer suggestions on how you could restrict your access to gambling and offer you one to one treatment that can really enable you to look in to why you gamble and help you find a way to be gamble free. 

In the mean time, please do carry on using the forum, i hope you get a lot out of your time here. 

Take care, 

Rebecca 

Forum Admin

Hi Adam,  please, please, please use all the tools you can, get a bank card which wont let you do gambling transactions.   Do a draft email asking for your account to be closed because you are a compulsive gambler then copy and paste and send this to all the sites you have accounts on.  Do it while you feel bad and want to stop. Use Gamstop.    We on this site have all been where you are and we are all taking a day at a time to overcome this battle.  Please don't dwell on the past -it has gone.   Look forward and plan how you can get finances back on track, and start getting that self worth back.  You are better than this addiction honestly,  personally i use youtube hypnotherapy stop gambling to fall asleep too, ive downloaded audible book by Allen Carr and listen to that even in my car i will play a chapter!  i have bank account with starling which blocks gambling. i emailed each online casino to close account.... don't get me wrong not easy at all and i always kept one open just incase (now closed)    but i have lost thousands of pounds... debts of 25000 through payday loans etc. had to give up my great job as i couldn't function.. up all night gambling then straight work and nearly lost my husband because of the debts-he never worked out it was gambling and because of my self loathing and shame could never tell him!!!    I take each day and i will not go back to that dark place but the urges come and now go much easier.  It turns us into zombie like folk just pressing buttons....   Sorry going on about me but i want you to know that its c**P at the moment for you but stay strong, make plans and take each day as it comes.   If you have someone to confide in thats great as they may give you some support, this site has so much support...  take care. julie

Hey Adam

Your taking the first step and this is great! It’s not going to be an easy Journey but you’ve come to the right place for your recovery! I’d strong recommend using all the tools available to you for instant Gamstop and Gamban. Anytime you want to talk call Gamcare help line where they will work with you and most likely refer you to a local support group etc in your area! Your not alone and your in the right place! If you fancy a chat with many off us Join the chat rooms which are open an hour an a day twice a day where we all support each other:) 

❤️

First of all I would like to thank those who have taken time to read my post and secondly huge thanks to those who have replied and posted words of such encouragement it really does mean a lot! I know so far these are only baby steps, but a journey of a thousand miles must start with a single step! I hope you are all well and will continue to support me on my journey! Much love x

Baby steps will change into giant steps Adam. Keep at em mate. Tomorrow always be a better day without gambling in our life. All here to support each other in times of need and guide you through.

all the best ??

Hi Adam!

Welcome and well done for finding the courage to make the first step. Often realising we have a problem is the hardest thing. From my experience I would install some blocking software on your phone and see if your bank will stop transactions go gambling facility. There are wonderful people on here who you can talk to 1-1 to get support and they can advise further. There is a chat room twice a day on here full of like minded individuals who are all at different stages in recovery and we can support you x

Hi Adam,

I relate to your thoughts, just add another 20 years in my case of this daft self-imposed financial ruin and despair.

Can I ask, are you doing anything to make it hard for your self to gamble?? Will power in and of itself is seldom enough. Currently I find registering with gamstop and blocking software has stopped any thoughts of gambling in its tracks. Add the fact that bookies and casino's are closed means that am currently completely protected from myself.

Think about what you could do to help yourself, before you have another 8 years of periodic gambling self-detruction.

Hi everybody just a quick update on my situation, so...today was a hard day the dreaded saturday the day full of football and sport, i will not lie today i had a bet i tried my hardest to resist but it happened as soon as the bet lost i took my next step towards the self help i need. So what did i do? Today i went onto gamstop this evening and created an account shared my details and self excluded myself from all gambling sites and apps for 5 years. This is a huge step. 

Adam x

Hi Adam 

Hope you are ok. I read you had a bet today but it sounds like it was this particular bet that gave you that bit of extra strength to exclude yourself from the gambling sites. That's a huge achievement in itself. I think it's equal amounts of self-discipline and self-compassion with this gambling thing. You are better than the gambling. All the best.

Hi Adam... yes it is a huge step.

Well done.

If you can't gamble you can't gamble... that's a good thing 🙂

Sunday...the day after I have self excluded myself from all gambling sites...this is hard. The first Sunday without a bet in a long time, the urges are unbelievable right now. But I have a plan every time I get an urge I will use that money to transfer to my savings rather than deposit it to my gambling account. I will use that weakness and turn it into a positive that is how I plan to soldier through today!

Posted by: AdamM1993

Sunday...the day after I have self excluded myself from all gambling sites...this is hard. The first Sunday without a bet in a long time, the urges are unbelievable right now. But I have a plan every time I get an urge I will use that money to transfer to my savings rather than deposit it to my gambling account. I will use that weakness and turn it into a positive that is how I plan to soldier through today!

It’s early days Adam and the urges can be dreadful. However you are doing such a positive thing by transferring money to a savings account. You can get through this 

Posted by: AdamM1993

Hi everybody just a quick update on my situation, so...today was a hard day the dreaded saturday the day full of football and sport, i will not lie today i had a bet i tried my hardest to resist but it happened as soon as the bet lost i took my next step towards the self help i need. So what did i do? Today i went onto gamstop this evening and created an account shared my details and self excluded myself from all gambling sites and apps for 5 years. This is a huge step. 

 

Adam x

Adam, this is such a huge step mate, well done. Every single one of us have been or are still in the situation you are in now, it really sucks and it can be so tough on your mental health. There are so many tools out there, like the self-exlcuding options you have taken. We all understand how you're feeling, there is no judgement here, only support to get you where you need to be. 

Keep fighting my friend, it has been 198 days for me after trying to stop for five years. Champions league days are especially hard for me. I tried my best to fill the time so started a degree, certainly keeps me occupied (Sadly doesn't stop the temptation). 

Tyler 

Second day, yesterday Sunday the 21st was my first day with no bets on the football. I managed to watch the Man city game (even though I hate them haha) in total peace ✌. If it was a normal gambling Sunday i would be switching my attention between the game and my phone checking other scores but I managed to get through with not 1 single thought about betting. Today is going into the second full day and I am more determined than ever!