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Sorry to hear about your loss. We all make mistakes! You sound responsible and decent not to mention intelligent so it will be hard for you to rationalise this. The answer is that as compulsive gamblers we are completely irrational when it comes to gambling and you will have to accept that you can never gamble again sensibly even for penny stakes.

I can tell you from the many GA meetings how many middle to old age men who have lost their houses, kids, jobs and wives through this disease and they would give years off their lives to have only lost £6000.

Please just chalk this up to experience! Go to GA and see for yourself. You are clearly sensible coming on here as soon as you have and that is commendable. Remember this feeling...the shame, the guilt the loss. We all feel it. You need to enter abstinence to never feel these emotions again. It is so worth it, believe me. If you want a way of thinking about it if suggest think of the guys who buy a silly red sports car in mid life. People waste money all the time with good intentions. Don't let this ruin your life.

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Posted a few times by mistake and cant delete..

Hey Man,

Sorry to hear about this. If you read my story you will notice it's not too dissimilar! A mate of mine showed me these videos, I was more into the blackjack ones, then I started like you did smaller amounts, sometimes chasing it to bigger amounts, getting it back for a lot of stress and little gain a few times. Then one day like you my luck didn't allow me to get it back and I lost £1200 in my case (a lot of money for a 19 yr old)

I feel like s**t too and know how you feel. I've justified in the same way, people loose money all the time, I've thought of it like stocks and shares too. Depreciation on cars bought, house market crashes.

Im trying to treat my loss as motivation and work harder and find new interests.

Good luck, I have found this site very helpful, everyone here has lost something due to this big legal con!

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I enjoyed reading your story...

I'm the in the same boat fella, I've litterally just lost 4K on football betting in the last 24hrs :- Feeling so guilty & gutted right now!

Good to hear you're coping well - keep strong & think positive, that's going to be my motto from now on (fingers crossed). All the best mate

So sorry to read of how you're feeling. It's the hardest thing ever but you need to try and let go of what you've lost. It's not easy mate, I'm in a similar position where I have money to replace and the only way I can do it is to stop gambling just as you can replace yours in time if you stop. I read something lately like ' don't focus on the money, just focus on trying to stop gambling'. When you focus on the money you think too much of how to replace it or have feelings of guilt over what has been spent. Move on from that mate, my advice to you is my advice to myself.

I was interested to see your reference to the stock market, I was never one to gamble but years ago traded shares regular, before I got into gambling, in hindsight the methods I used weren't much different. That's when my attitude to risk started to change.

If you can save it again in time then do that, albeit slowly (strangely I'm not sure if I'm talking to you or me if that makes sense). All the best. x

hi sounds to me by wanting to dabble in the stock market you are just substituting one form of gambling for another. Markets are very volatile at the moment, lots of talk of asset bubbles & learned people (away from the mainstream media) talking of a major crash around the corner. You could open a club lloyds account pays 4% on balances between 4000 & 5000. You need to pay a couple of direct debits a month these can be £1 a month to charities e.g. oxfam & unicef. pay in £1500 a month this can be salary or transfers from another account.

Don't underestimate how powerful the gambling addiction can be. When you're in the grip of it (even if you think you're not) you can push down in one place & it springs up in another, in your case your desire to gamble on the stock markets instead.

The money's gone you need to accept that & forget about trying to 'get it' back.

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To forget ? It's tough. You could treat is a price you had to pay to learn a very important life lesson - don't gamble (google gamblingfactsandfictions.com, use the id3 link i.e. second google result). Do you smoke ? drink ? get takeaway coffees every morning ? If the loss really rankles, cut down on other unnecessary expenditure such as these and other things, if you smoke give it up, drastically cut down on your drinking, keep a tally of the amount saved, & tell yourself you are doing this to make up for your loss. It may take a year or more but sooner or later you can get your 'money back' that way. If not then it will be easier to forget & to forgive yourself over time. The pain goes away as part of the natural healing process, however once you've more or less forgotten the pain don't fall into the trap of starting to gamble again.

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Thanks for reccomending that video. Really puts the whole thing into perspective and shows people like me who have caught it early what it can do.

He seems to have recovered from it all pretty well and looks a better person as a result. In his case the addiction for him took eveything good out of his life, esspecialy family, he worked hard and got that back. The money can be replaced in time.

Like you as well I was checking my online banking way too often each day. It wasnt to see if I could afford to buy something or to see if I had been paid either. Maybe its a ominus trait? Now I dont check it at all really because nothing in there haha!

Hope things are looking up MrGold.

Hi there

i havent posted for a long time. Lost about £4000 in one afternoon in the bookies a couple of years ago. Got counselling from Breakeven for a few months and felt a lot better. I tried to rationalise it as like when I lost money in the stock market crash in about 2002. Got a loan out for the amount lost and paid it back. Wife had no idea of the scale of my addiction.

My problem is Horse Racing and unlike my friend who can do a £1 patent on a Saturday, I have started to go back to my old ways. Fortunately, I have not lost yet but it is only a matter of time.

I have put safeguards in place. For example only going out with enough money for a few beers and a small bet on Saturdays. I have excluded from all online accounts previously. I have put my savings in a bond so no access. I feel a lot happier if I go out without my cash card.

I am hoping to be able to bet sensibly like a lot of people. I enjoy watching the racing and looking at the form.

I also am obsessed with checking my bank balance. My spending habits are changing in that I dont like spending money.

I recently won some losses back by backing odds on favourites but if they had lost I would be in a mess again.

I have been on this forum a lot recently reading peoples stories which is a sign that I know it is spiralling out of control again.

I have never forgot that big loss a couple of years ago. Its always there. Maybe I am still hoping to win it back at some point.

I hope I can stick to about £20 a week but maybe I already know that I will not be able to.

It helps to read these posts and I will keep checking in.

Good luck

Gav