Giving it another try

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(@oldnews74)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

Hi everyone,

I`m back here again as I have once again lost control over my online gambling. Yesterday I lost over a £1000 betting from £20 to £100 on an online poker game and the money was gone in a flash. 

The predominant factor is my compulsion and that I go into a trance like state when playing and it only hits me at the end the damage I have caused. It does not feel like you are playing with real money.

This problem has caused me to lose tens of thousands of pounds over the years, I have taken loans out and with credit card debt this amounts to over 30K. Not to mention my own wages I have blown.

Deceit goes hand in hand with compulsive gambling and I have lied to my partner on many series of occasions to the extent of my problem, even though she is aware I have the problem, she is unaware of the compulsive binges. Its not enough to bet £1 or £2 on a game - I need to increase my bets to much larger amounts to experience the same thrill.

I am at the point of bankruptcy and this has been my own fault and lack of self control. The compulsion is overwhelming and it is incredible the excuses one can tell oneself to continue to gamble. Even armed with statistical knowledge has not stopped me form pushing the bet button.

I`m opening this new chapter and want to take one day at a time and learn from your stories and share mine. I`m sick and tired of donating my hard earned money to bookmakers and their negative EV games. The games are so well designed and so easy to lose oneself in. And then there are casino streamers everywhere on the internet flouting their "record" wins. Its a sordid industry, destroys families and requires tighter regulation. 

Best to all

This topic was modified 4 years ago by Forum admin
 
Posted : 3rd February 2021 9:31 am
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 147
 

Morning Oldnews74, 

Thanks for sharing your story. 

What you had described is your monkey who is 3 or 4 times stronger than yourself. So how do you keep the monkey at bay? Go and purchase Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters as he explains in detail.

1. Find healthy replacements for your gambling such as short walks, reading, doing up the house, gardening, join a walking group, write a novel, painting, drawing, volunteering, cycling etc. Interests and hobbies that interest you. Anything that doesn't hurt you financially, emotionally, and spiritually. 

2. When the gambling urges arises, go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil. 

3. As Albert Einstein famously said:"Doing the same thing again and again, but expecting a different outcome, is the definition of insanity,"

4. Forgiveness- learn to live with it (the monkey self). As time passes, it will become easier and easier to you naturally- regardless of how much money, energy, and time lost in the process. 

Remember that the only way to win at gambling is not to play (walk away).

I hope this helps. 

Xoi

Ps a thousand mile begins with one step 

 

 
Posted : 3rd February 2021 11:52 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 892
 

@oldnews74 There is an old saying in recovery, "If nothing changes, nothing changes". This goes quite well with "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome".

What can you do differently this time to help yourself?

Chris.

 
Posted : 3rd February 2021 1:29 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)
Posts: 607
 

You can only help yourself before you start not after you finish. The tools are there in forms of gamstop/ gamban and others. If you do not feel that you can control your actions then make it impossible for you to do them. The problem is normally that there is a reluctance to close all doors completely but if that is what you need to do then that is what you need to do. If you always stand on that station looking at the train rolling away from the platform you will always stand there with an old ticket. 

Challenge yourself to do it differently this time.

Best

C

 

 
Posted : 3rd February 2021 6:51 pm
Chris100
(@chris100)
Posts: 31
 

All the best you sound exactly like me which is scarey

 

get someone to control your money every pay day it’s the only way 

 
Posted : 4th February 2021 7:28 pm
(@soysauce147)
Posts: 147
 

There are 3 main elements that gambling exists:

1. Time

If you fill your time with healthy replacement as there are millions of things that you can do rather than gambling. 

2. Money

If someone was looking after your finance, like your partner etc. And only have enough money for the basics- you will not waste your money on guessing, playing random number games etc

3. Opportunities

Closing doors, banning yourself from bookies, bared from gambling sites etc. 

Remember

The only way to win at gambling is not to play or walk away. 

Out smarting or out witting the multi billion pounds gambling industry is madness. When does it stops. 

I hope this helps.

Xoi

Ps stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at a time

 
Posted : 4th February 2021 10:37 pm

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