Got into a real mess chasing a loss! £1200!

Thats good Reddy.

Thats the sort of post I wanted to see from you. You are getting there and your family can help put the blocks on and manage/monitor your finances.

Dont worry too much because you have a new sense of honesty and your dad must find out and deal with it in his own way. Its an addiction and there is no shame in crying out for help. Hiding it from him is not helpful and I would suggest he is gently let in on the situation. Possibly your mum already feels this and thats a good thing

Yes they are shocked but its mainly because they love you and they dont understand how money can be thrown away. I agree its not as simple as that and non gamblers dont understand how the temptation and addiction takes hold. However you cant rationalise gambling in the cold light of day. Try it and you will realise what your parents see and how gambling makes fools and wrecks of intelligent people

You lost as soon as you started to gamble. You lost as soon as you opened the bookies door! They arent running a give money to Reddy scheme. The money must be put behind you...Its gone as thats what you did with it. Its not a get it back later scheme so with counselling and time you will put it in the past.

The next point is that the "free" games are in honeymoon mode and they will never play like that with your money. I would advise that you now leave the free games and forget them. I proved that they are as boring as watching paint dry without the money element. You will realise this and gradually stop talking about forms of gambling.

You are going to be doing better things. A quick chat with the doctor may be helpful along with any counselling you can arrange.

Money is not everything and you will know that life is not necessarily fair. Ive had all the expensive gadgets and £200 T shirts etc. I used to buy racks of very expensive shoes and jackets. As soon as I put them on the racks I felt empty and lonely again. It doesnt make you happy in itself. Infact it made me a slave to material things and I never got my life sorted out emotionally. I was buying a life by trying to pose when I was empty inside. The stuff I had didnt essentially matter

You will find your place in life. You may never have as much money as your parents and friends. Its not something to get hung up about and it is the simple pleasures that do count. As long as you are comfortable and have a little money for a rainy day...that is the main thing

Do things..... go to music festivals....rebuild a relationship with your parents.

The lust for money isnt the answer...on that basis there is never enough and it just makes you unhappy. Gambling is never the answer. Its a mugs game which should be highly regulated or even banned altogether.

Anyway you are now getting there. With blocks and family help you will wonder why you ever gambled and you just wont be interested again.

I wish you all the very best

Hi,

Thanks for the posts. It is time to move on and if my Mum wants to tell my Dad I'll leave that to her. Maybe have a chat with her in the next few days. I'm sure he will understand why I couldn't tell him myself! Sure he will be P****d but oh well!

Got myself my old job back too at the bar I hope! Either that or this one I've just applied for nearby. In my head this is what should help me move on. Work 2 jobs and Get that money back in an honest John way and never look back. I'm gonna stop buying the lottery tickets in March for at least a year because even that's getting out of hand. That should save me a fair bit of unnecessary cash! Maybe start a day counter as encouragement to not by lotto and scratchcards!

Not having the cash to blow on material things is making me realise it's all b******s! I look in my wardrobe and see all this great gear and I know I honestly can do without getting anymore for a while! I've also got a good car all paid for as of next month when my last payment on my loans due!

This one goes out to 'thisisruiningmylife' thanks for the post mate. I believe you I would be well on my way to losing the plot if the self exclude people at c*****g Hill didn't point me here and if I hadn't clicked it out of a thought like "yeah yeah how's some website gonna help me!" I feel kind of stupid moaning about money lost when it's really a minimal amount but so is yours in scheme of your lifetime! We're young and we can get things sorted! You can get them dreams off of hold if this gambling rubbishy is kicked and your heads busy at work with your 2 jobs! Seriously impressive! I would advise you to go to Halifax to set up a Help To Buy ISA! They give u 25% on top of what you've saved when u decide to buy a house! The free money they give you can cover some gambling losses you may be hurting from! Youll get that car mate too! You could do a monthly PCP type thing and pay roughly £200 for a sweet 2015/16 ride! The money you know that must go to dedicated places may just help cut down on gambling stakes. I think that was part of my problem! Too much money just sat dormant! It's a definite life lesson for me which I hope I've learned now.

Cheers again!

Yesterday marked my last day of any bet of any kind for at least 365days I hope!

Decided to buy the last of my lottery tickets and go GFree!

Hopefully speaking to my old boss to get this job back tomorrow 1 or 2 nights a week as mentioned before. The money I can get from extra work and not buying lotto should in my own head at least justify my balls up! "I screwed up and I need a way to rectify it" gonna be saving cash under my bed like a mafia boss till I get my desired amount I've set back! Cash isn't really an issue as I was more of an online kid and could never go into a bookies bearing a wad of cash and bet it! Where's numbers on a screen a whole different story!

Been all the way down to London tonight/ yesterday (Thursday) to watch my team Spurs! Yeah was tempted with the gamble but it's a mugs game and not getting drawin in any time soon I hope! They won and got a pay rise in my main job too this week! Still difficult to get excited when you gambled the difference in your pay rise away in a matter of hours!

Thanks for the help so far everyone! Your posts and reading through others on the forums is really amazing support! Chin up and good luck to everyone!

Remember - let it go dude 🙂 Don't keep reminding yourself of the loss if it doesn't aid your recovery as a deterant. Just be weary that it's the grate of the loss that can also act as a trigger....

Be on guard as this is how I got pulled back in and the situation escalated! Great news about the pay rise and extra work. Keep that mattress stuffed! Lol.

Let it go dude, let it go. All will come good 1 day at a time.

Having a terrible day! Really struggling! Fed up of betting adverts! All I want to do is enjoy the cup final but spent the last 15 mins looking at my phone wanting to place a £300 bet 4/1 on city to win and both to score! Flashed up on my tv I was fine again before that! I'm going to hopefully stay strong and if Liverpool win it will really cheer me up because it would mean I made the right choice not to bet!

Also never got this extra job I was after that will help me get finances back in an honest way! Back to square one. Let's hope no bets even tho I was so tempted to go the bookies round the corner from where that job was to get money that way instead (would never have worked)! Come on Liverpool prove to me that I shouldn't have thought of gambling cash away!

The fact I'm willing to put £300 in the hands of the gods one more time says to me I definitely have a problem I need to keep under wraps! .....

Hi

Keep working on it Reddy. There is no surefire betting. They have teams of people setting the odds. They set the odds and you cant name me anything in gambling worth risking £300 on. You havent got £300 to lose

Its a losing game. I can only be done by people with money to throw away. I havent money to throw away and neither have you.

You are ignoring the odds and thinking of gambling too much. You may just not have to watch sport for a while. Being glad you didnt bet because the bet would have lost are dangerous thoughts...they lead to I should have bet because they won.

I could say bet with chocolates or something but I want you to lose that habit of thinking about sport in that way

Let it go.

Focus on what £300 buys you...something that will last.

I hope you will double check your blocks. tell your family about any urges and really talk it through in counselling

Best wishes

Hi,

Just dropping by as currently on my own in the North East with work near Middlesbrough. I get around the country that's for sure! Been in Wales and Bristol earlier in the week now Mancester and the North East!

Been reading some more posts on here. Amazing how much of a way with words people have when they put themselves to it!

Just set up a day counter as encouragement. At 7 days as a result of lotto tickets, nothing major but still gambling none the less. I'm aiming for 365. Still not got this 2nd job yet but still want it to help me work towards rectifying mistakes...

Not going to lie I have been tempted probably most days to gamble dangerous amounts. It's just so subliminal! Too many adverts in sport encouraging you and unfortunately due to the nature of my job in driving I see bookies all the time and worst of all casinos! I just think of the FOBT in the bookies and the roullete/Blackjack in the casino.

I'm still working on burning that fire in my head that I will never win! 1 day at a time I guess. At the moment I don't have money to lose so that's the real deterrent....

Hope all is well in your worlds! Reddy!

Hey Reddy

Good idea with the counter, it's a nice little reassurer when you log in. You said about that burning fire in your head and still coping with he urges. Sounds like you're doing a grand job. I've just signed up to free Amazon audio book for one month and downloaded Allen Carrs 'the easy way to stop gambling', I know, sounds well gimiky! But been listening to it in the car to and from work (short stints) and it does seem to be helping me with getting the urges to subside. And all it does is confirm what we already know but it's like retraining your thoughts in relation the big G.

Any way thought it was worth a mention as i find the thoughts and urges the most distracting element of the whole addiction.

Take it easy Reddy, you're already winning by not gambling 🙂

Wanted to post my 50 days but was too busy yesterday so it's 51 today. Not placed a bet of any kind, not even lotto.

I have been tempted when I see adverts and have people talking to me about football and odds and such but glad I haven't. I know I have passed the line as it won't be £10 I think is an acceptable amount it's a minimum of £100 that I would want to be placing.

Finances are a bit improved and I will have £200 of lost cash from working overtime when I get to the end of the month. On track to get what I wasted in that evening by the end of the year.

The best part is that as each day passes I lighten up a bit about the whole thing. It really has made me miserable but I'm determined now to make sure some lost money doesn't do that to me.

Cheers

R

Hi, Reddy,

Well done, keep going.

BW,

CW

hi reddy,
ive just read your whole story, well done dor your 50 odd days, it is hard with all the adverts and stuff....
the only thing i am worried about with you is when you have got that money back you lost, and your all square,
you might get the feeling that you have money to gamble again....
it sounds stupid but its what happened with me.
even when your finances are sorted still come on here and let us know your thoughts and feelings dude.
inspire us.
all the best

Thanks AJY for your message. Yeah I'm worried about that too! At the moment I have massive insentive to stop but like u say in a year things may have changed.

I guess i have to get to that year before I can re evaluate but so far so good. Cheers.

Reddy your story similar like mine the only difference is when you lost your 1200 it was night time and you should have gone to bed or read book i lost my 1000 when i woke up in the morning i should have gone to bathroom and have breakfast but that did not happen, also similiarly on many occasions when my money was down while playing, i manged to get it back infact made little bit more on top, but that morning luck was not with me as well i have not got a single chance to recover my money no matter if i played slots or roulette nothing worked.

I know the money is gone and i am glad you did not play over 50+ days i am still struggling and still getting urges to play again to recover something, i dont know how long i am going to stay firm

Hey reddy how's things going

Hi Ajy,

Things have deteriorated for me since I posted on your own thread earlier in the day....me and my GF have finished and not even on good terms. I think I still love her but can't go back to her after what she's done to me. She wasn't who I thought she was. At least I can take piece in knowing it wasn't my actions what broke us up. My 2 months of miserableness after my loss didn't help but ultimately I'm not to blame and I know that and she has told me that too.

Anyway new beginnings and I get that this site is not a relationship council site but I'll be sure to not gamble as that won't get me anywhere. The gambling fog has lifted a lot lately and even tho I have now lost a piece of my still yet short life I still have lots to look forward to and will do.

I'm a bit of a confused mess at the moment but day 60 is just a few mins away!

I may start a diary on the site or I may even come away from here for a bit as I don't know how much it's actually helping me anymore....a s**t time at the minute none the less.

Hope everyone is making progress in their battles and AJY I hope you had a good weekend with dog walks and sorting things out.

R