Hello.....again.

Onwardsandupwards wrote:

Hey RA,

Hows your weekend been?

OAU

Hey OAU.

Yea everything has been good thanks. Im still GF which is the main thing. I've been listening through the podcasts and coming on here for an hour or so a day which is helping me to keep focused.

I had a few of the lads in our WhatsApp group send through winning slips this week (they don't know I'm a cg) but I just didn't bother to respond. Although it was a few hundred pound win, I know they would have spent a lot more than that in loosing bets which they haven't bothered to share.

It looks like you are still Gf which is great. How have you been dealing with the urges? Must be nice to know you might have spare cash for Xmas?

Just checking in for Christmas at 45 days. Very happy with how things are going. Not really an awful lot in the way of gambling.

I met up with a group of mates yesterday. All of them like a little bet, but I suspect one in particular is a compulsive gambler. He is very open and honest with everyone about how much he bets and that whenever he wins he just rolls it over onto the next bet. He justifies it to us that it's no different to the amount of money his wife spends on clothes or her hair. I felt bad for him as I may be able to offer him some advice, but none of them know my position and story so I kept quiet. Maybe another time.

From a gambling point of view this Christmas will certainly be better than last year.

It's a boxing day tradition for me to go into the city early doors and hit the sales to spend any Xmas vouchers I had been given. Last year on boxing day I think I got to the bookies just after they had opened and stuck ВЈ10 I got in a card on some random person to win the current set in a tennis match. I only would have won ВЈ6.50!! How silly is that. It obviously shows it's not all about the money, because what would be so good about that poxy £6.50?! I remember walking around the city, half looking at things to buy, but mainly glued to my phone checking the result.

Im glad this year will be different.

Have a good Xmas and new year guys.

RA

Have a good Xmas enjoy your peace and serenity that is gained from not letting it get worse - every day it gets better however small that step is!

Have a good Christmas RA.

Just checking in at 55 days. Not given gambling a thought at all over the Christmas period.

I know I'm not safe as I've been in this situation before. I have to take one day at a time.

Back to work yesterday after 7 months off paternity leave. It was tough to go back, especially leaving my wife and little boy at home but I'm sure it will be different in a week or so.

Work allowed me to gamble without my wife knowing so it's a big test for me, but blocks are in place and I'm as determine as ever.

Trying to get fitter and loose some weight in the new year so trying to put all my focus and energy into that. Managed to get up and run before work which is tough but well worth it after.

RA.

happy new year, i newbie, please help

Hi RA,

Hope your good and happy new year too you.

Sorry I haven’t been on for a while . I hope your okay.

Don’t be afraid to speak to your wife about gambling. I know it’s quite hard at times of how to bring it up. But that’s just the shame and you will feel like you won’t want to burden her with your problems. But that’s already been done and she is by your side, so you need to respect that. The trust will tale time and even though one day you will hopefully regain it. Those thoughts will always be in her mind and rightly so. Because we are all just a day away from gambling. Just talk the conversation doesn’t need to be started about gambling or you. That’s your problem our problem and even though we need support our partners do as well. So just make sure you have nights where you chat. You may do I find by not watching tv and eating tEa at the table gives us plenty of opportunity to chat. I know it’s more difficult to do so when you have a baby as that takes up so much of your 1 on 1 time together as a couple. We are all here for you, but I know you’ve not got many people to speak to as you don’t go to GA or therapy and what I am learning that communication is key in recovery.

Are you seeing the benefits of stopping gambling? More time with family? More money etc. Look after yourself.

OAU

Hello OAU.

Thanks for stopping by mate.

You are right in everything you've said. It's good to discuss things isn't it. We were watching the local news the other night and there was a story about a guy who stole over 1mil from his employer to fund his gambling habit. They then showed a stat about the suicide rates amongst CG, and my wife's face dropped. She then started to worry that I was going to become one of those statistics, even though that's never ever crossed my mind. Bless her I understand the worry though because at the start she would have thought she knew everything about me and then she discovers I'm a gambler!

I feel so much better now though. Tennis was always my sport to bet on, and now the aussie open is on I've just not even checked scores or anything. Previously I would wake in the early hours or not even sleep to see how bets are going. Not anymore.

How is life treating you OAU? Do you have urges at all? How is the therapy going?

RA

Hi RA,

Glad all is well with you and the family. It’s good that your communicating well too. Recently we have been that busy, that when we have had time to properly talk, instead we have just binged on Netflix box sets (that bloody Netflix). There is just to much to watch ha. But yeah have fallen in to some old habits which I’m conscious of so going to have less tv time and more us time.

I’m glad this disorder is getting much more attention, there has been many things in the media this year (sports advertising) and new laws (£2 fobt limit) passed to help curb problem gambling but no where near enough, but these things take time and the louder people scream we will get heard and hopefully more curbs, education and protection will be implemented over time. But being such a big tax revenue stream I can understand they aren’t in any rush. Gambling addiction has the highest suicide rate out of any addiction and it’s so sad. It’s sadly a place it can take any of us too and even though I have had thoughts, it not something I have ever wanted to do. But is just scary looking back to of even had them thoughts. I’m not against gambling I’ve always had fun times, but I know I can’t gamble as when I do everything just goes to s**t.

It’s crazy how all us on here are all cg, but all have had different types/ games of betting. Mine being table games, FOBT’s and sometimes slots. Yours being tennis which I would never of had any urge or temptation to bet on and probably vice versa, but if I had say put a big bet on tennis and won then maybe that could of become preferred thing to bet on, I don’t know.

Keep up the good work.

Life is going well with me thanks. All the family are doing fine. Me and the Mrs have had a few arguments recently, but just been so manic that we haven’t had time to breath. Christmas was amazing and then went away for a few nights last week, then christening and my wife also made the cake for it which was kind but stressful at home ha. So yeah just need some downtime. Therapy is going well, but had quite a big break since before Christmas until yesterday so glad to be back cracking on with that now. My wife is also attending it with her own counsellor provided by GamCare. It’s good as it can be quite difficult for our partners to understand the illness and living with a cg. In regards to urges not really, I’ve thought an awful lot about betting but not wanted to do or felt drawn. One before Christmas whilst at work as normally where I was working I would slip off to the bookies, so think that stemmed from habitual behaviour. But the urge passed after a few hours and just rode it out. Which I was quite proud of. Every time I use to go in to my town centre for anything I bet, so any time I go in to town now the thought always comes and goes.

Take care

OAU

I’m in a very similar place to you. You should message me so we can do this journey together. Maybe it’ll make it easier? I just relapsed last night and I need to stop for the sake of my wife and young kid. I’m only 26 but ruining my life day by day with this addiction.

Lukej92 wrote:

I’m in a very similar place to you. You should message me so we can do this journey together. Maybe it’ll make it easier? I just relapsed last night and I need to stop for the sake of my wife and young kid. I’m only 26 but ruining my life day by day with this addiction.

Hey Luke.

Start by getting a diary going and telling your story. There are loads of people on here who can offer great support and advice.

Don't let this ruin your life mate. Put blocks in place, be honest, and get yourself some help. We can all do this together.

RA

I had a dream last night that I was on a stag due and deposited £10 to bet. In my dream I instantly regretted it and was so worried about getting caught.

It was such a vivid dream, and I was so thankful that it wasn't in any way real.

But this is the first time this has ever happened to me, and the weird thing is I'm over 80 days GF now, and gambling hasn't been anywhere near my mind.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Thanks.
RA

Yes, I've had a few gambling related dreams whilst being GF and could never figure out any specific trigger.

Without exception they all involved me gambling despite not wanting to and knowing that I should not. Horrible feeling when I woke up but obviously not as bad as waking up after really gambling the night before. I would be be worried if I dreamed about gambling in a positive and happy way.

Muststop123

Hope your good mate. Them dreams are horrible. I’ve had them too mostly at the beginning and I woke up terrified. It’s normal so don’t worry, you aren’t your subconscious and are still plowing on gamble free. Look after yourself and hope the family is okay.

OAU

Sorry I missed the big 100. But well done and how fast has that come round. Keep up the good work and checking in. Sadly it will never go away for any of us, but as long as we don’t become complacent and keep present. We can live a normal life just like everyone else. Just no more to gambling. Hope you and the family are good and here is to the next 100 days: