Hey all. I play Blackjack and keep having MELTDOWNS where I lose vast amounts in one day/night. I dont have that problem with other forms of games. I sports bet time to time but for very small stakes (£5 max) but with large odds going for the big win. I also play poker but dont break the bank in anyway.
With Blackjack its different, I go on a winning streak. I always seem to be able to control it for a period with set limits, discipline and walking away when winning. But the more I win the higher my limits get and the amount Im happy to walk away with when winning. I even chase the money I lose which I originally won because it feels like a loss. I start with rational strategy of winning a reasonable amount every session and have time limit on sessions walking away even after a few minutes if I win my target sum. I always seem to keep steady and build up a good bankroll.
THEN I always have a day where I binge and chase a big win and spend hours on end going up and down and the bets keep getting bigger with big swings. I chase my losses even as small as ВЈ50 and never walk away even if I m winning big or small. If im winning ВЈ900 I always try to get to ВЈ1000, if its ВЈ1300 try to get £1500. Yet I dont do it other times just when I MELTDOWN.
THIS CYCLE has happened a few times and each time I have tried to rethink and improve my strategy and come up with control mechanisms to avoid the next MELTDOWN. Yet when it happens I only regain consciousness after my account is empty. I then wait for my balance to build up and go through the same cycle. Been doing it for 4 years.
Its even worse now as I stupidly found online casino last week. I won 3k on blkjack in a week but now I sit here in the red big time after another Meltdown having to take out another loan to cover bills. Sad part is I was up ВЈ400 and tried to get to £500 for the session yesterday and ended up costing me everything after 6-7 hrs binge.
Sorry about the long sob story. Its my first time and needed to vent somewhere. My family are unaware but sometimes suspect it as I never have money and friends think I must have a lot of money because I work hard when really Im skint. Im the only one who knows and Im dreading telling anyone else. This time I want to stop this kamikaze obsession. But I cant even bring myself to open up to someone I know. Should I just see a counsellor and no one has to know? Will I be able to kick the habit that way??
Hi Icarus154,
Welcome to the Forum.
Whether it is small sport bets or blackjack, it sounds like you are obsessed with winning, forever chasing the excitement of quick money. It is generally easier to lose control with online gambling as there is no real money involved and it all happens very quickly. I am not sure what you mean by a ‘meltdown’ but I assume it’s an emotional state where you don’t have control over your gambling. You describe it as a state of losing consciousness and only ‘waking up’ when your account is empty. It is important that you understand what happens when your gambling is so emotional sometimes, while other times you can make clear decisions about it. It is advisable to speak to a counsellor and understand your gambling behaviour, as this can only get worse over time.
Also, keeping this to yourself makes you less able to manage the problem so, it would help to open up about it to someone you fully trust. You could hand over financial control to a family member for a period of time as having access to money makes you vulnerable and leads you to gambling.
If you find it difficult to talk to people you know, perhaps you can start by contacting a GamCare advisor. There is a Netline where you can chat online. Have a look at the Success stories on the Forum to see how people have dealt with this. It requires an on-going effort but you can start seeing the benefits very soon.
Best wishes,
Forum Admin
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