Hello. - How to help my Son

Good morning Panda30,

Thank you for posting and sharing.

I can imagine, that you are deeply concerned about your son. I am relieved to hear, that you are making the journey to visit him; it sounds like, he is experiencing some degree of loneliness, which unfortunately, can trigger gambling.

His environment has changed quite drastically in a short time, especially losing a partner and a peer group simultaneously, and leaving his family home, to begin his studies; a lot of change in a short time.

I would raise awareness, that you are concerned, about his current situation, and you are there to listen and support him, in a non judgemental way.

This is a common situation, which I mean with sincerity and reassuringly.

We offer, multiple pathways, online treatment GameChange, which is educational regarding risks, and a service to empower your son.

We also offer, Face - To - Face interventions, depending on your sons location.

I would encourage your son, to reach out to the Helpline on: 0808-8020-133; we can encourage him to vocalise how, he is feeling and hopefully get a plan in place.

We can support with online self exclusions immediately, but most importantly we are here to listen.

For your reference Panda30, I would encourage, you to attend one of our chatrooms' for support. We have a chatroom designed to support 'affected others' family and friends.  It is important that you also feel supported in this situation; you can share your anxieties and there will be an advisor to support you throughout the duration of the chatroom.

The Chatrooms are here to help and support you also. There is one every Tuesday from 10.00 a.m. - 11.30 a.m.  

I hope this helps you.

Warmest regards,

Lily

Hi there

It sounds like your poor son has been through alot. I equally understand being 50 miles away from your son is just as hard. I wish I had a parent as caring as you are. Maybe he's turned to the gambling as a way of escape.. I know for many (including myself) that this is the only escape.

If I was you I'd have an open and honest conversation with him. Also remind him that if it was as easy as to just stop or limit his deposits then there wouldn't be such a thing as gamcare. I often refer to myself as the biggest loser and why would anyone want to loose their money hand over fist. Its taken me. 3 months out of 13 years to realise this. Encourage him to stop completely. Encourage him to install every block available. It always starts small and snowballs like any addict.

I really wish you and your son the best of luck. 

Xxx

Hi

It is very concerning to learn that you son is feeling emotionally vulnerable.

Encourgaing him to find a room of recovery would help him and in time help you.

One day I had a call from my son he was away at University.

I could in his voice that he was emotionally vulnerable and living in alot of pain.

I did not hesitate I went down right after that call.

It was a long journey yet well worth while.

We talked for hours and I let him know how much he meant to me and how much I loved him.

I explained how I dealt with the pains I was not healing beore my recovery.

I selpt over in his place and in the morning I asked him if he wanted to stay or give up on his University.

In the morning my son knew how much support we had for him, he knew how much we loved him.

I told him what ever his decision he made was good with us.

I asked him if he wanted out and he told me to go bck home he would give it another try.

Nedless to say he passed from his university and has a healthy life today.

The emotional sharing between us helped him understand his emotional triggers.

 My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, were my fears not reduced or faced, were my unreasonable exprectations of people life and situations, were my loneliness and my feeling of boredom.

Bullying and manipuation is very unhealthy and can cause long term unhealthy effects.

Getting some one to where they need to be, takes healthy encouragement and nurturing.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

I am a 20-year-old university student who has a gambling problem. If I were your son, I wouldn't want to know you knew at all. It would feel like an extreme invasion of privacy and would cause more damage than a little gambling would do. Due to the added shame and guilt, he could also be angry at you and use this as an excuse to lash out. I would be more concerned if he was drinking or taking drugs during this time.

It of course depends on your relationship, though; you would have to decide that for yourself, but as someone in the same position, I would suggest creating an environment for him to tell you if he wants. (if he wants strongly highlighted) as thats what I would want for myself.

To help, I would suggest you call him every weekend and just talk about everything but his problems. Provide distraction or enjoyment elsewhere.