Hi
So - I have been on here before, but I can't remember my details etc.
My story:
I started betting small - I would win and lose. Everytime I won though, it meant that the wins NEEDED to be bigger. I stopped for a bit, then I would get stressed and fall off the wagon.
First chance: I had won some money, and then my girlfriend found out that i had lost even more and that i was c.£5k in debt. Me=Failure.
Second chance: She found out that I had fallen off the wagon - again c£5k of debt.
Third (latest chance): Basically things got worse. I had taken out more loans/ credit cards, and at the end of 2014 I was a little over £40k in debt. I knew I had to do something as I couldn't afford it anymore. I got on a DMP to pay off my debt and have been paying it on time for 12 months now. All along, I hadn't told my girlfriend. So, I get home last night, and can tell she is off. She makes dinner, we go to bed, and she is on the laptop. She asks "can I ask you a question?" ...I say No..."...is this true?" and she shows my end of 2014 debt spreadsheet. My heart rate spikes. I admit to everything...AGAIN! I messed up...again. I had been lieing.
She was going to kick me out of the house - which is understandable. But she said that as soon as I walked through the door she couldnt.
The outcome: I honestly don't know yet. She wants to help me. I want the help and support. I don't feel that i deserve anyone as amazing as she is. If she breaks up with me, I would be hugely gutted but I would understand. I told her everything. She said this is the last time though.
I am currently £30k in debt and it is still going to take 3 and half years to pay it off.
2015 was "ok" for me gambling wise. I had the odd occasion, but the amounts I bet weren't near the amounts I had bet 2014 and prior.
So...selfishly, I am happy that she hasn't thrown me out. I am embarassed about it all. I am upset that I have failed her yet again. I am happy that she knows though...it is a big weight off my shoulders.
I love the girl more than anything, and so hopefully I can finally prove to her that I won't mess up again.
Thanks
Matt
Thanks Dean - I sure do!!
I'm going to be gamble free from now on!! Not going to let her down and lose her again!
So Matt , Hi and welcome my friend , if your not going to bet anymore and stop completely , have you self excluded from everything you can or limited your access to money ? Just makes it a bit easier that relying on willpower alone !.
You said you love your girl more than anything , as long as it's more than gambling , youv'e got no problem !
Sound's like youv'e got a goodun there mate , you need to hold on to her !
Keep posting buddy and well done for coming back on and bearing all !
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