HELP

Just wanted to say hello and try and give you a bit of encouragement. There are so many diaries and threads on this forum you should read and follow. Everyone on here is going through or has gone through the same thing. You are not alone, although this horrible destructive disease isolates and cuts you off from reality, there is light at the end of the tunnel mate. You have taken the first steps. You've come on here and you've admitted you have a problem.

I'm on day 5 gambling free and i already feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've spent 30 years wasting my life, my finances and the relationships with the people who love me, but there is hope. I'm determined to break this horrible, self destructive cycle and lifestyle. Take all the advice you can get off the people on this forum. I'm trying to soak it all in like a sponge. You're not alone, i'm not alone. How good is that!!?? All the best mate. I really hope this is the first day of the rest of your life.

Hi TLock91 - Welcome to the "I feel like an idiot" Club, because we have all felt like that at some point. You have three brilliant things in your favour: you want to rid yourself of this stupid habit called gambling, you have joined this amazing site, and you are young enough to turn your life around completely.

dgr has given you some sound advice - to use this site to give you strength of purpose and for the encouragement of all of us who are in this struggle together.

If at all possible, put some barriers between you and gambling, such as self-exclusion, an online blocking program if you use online sites - K9 is a good one and is free.

You mention having won large sums of money but then losing it all - that is the stupidity of gambling - no matter how much we win the certainty is that we will give it all back to the casinos, betting shops etc. etc.

A well-used but true mantra used on this site is: "I cannot win because I cannot stop." Think about it - it's so true, isn't it?

Now you really have the chance to start afresh and to do something positive with your life. Best wishes for your journey.

Joanna

thankyou dgr and joanna for taking the time to read and reply to my thread...words cant describe how much i appreciate it,i cant believe i have never come across this forum before,i never realised so many people had problems like this,i am really shocked!!!!! i have opened lots of random threads and only found a couple similar to mine,i really need 2 speak to these people cause they have gone through the exact same thing,for example things like being addicted to roulette and machines i cant relate to because in my mind i see it as fixed,i have never played one slot machine in my life,i dont see a strategy to it,where as with football,its been there with me my whole life,from playing and watching so much from a very young age,i sometimes ask my self do i have to quit watching football? one of the things i love most in life,i have been through darker times but this time hurts the most for some reason,i always hit the rock bottom stage,it'll take ages to repair everything but i always end up 3steps forward then bang out of nowhere 10steps back,i have never stolen to gamble,but iv been through all the payday loans and debt buisness a while back around 3/4thousand pounds ,its one very vicious circle and some of the darkest days of my life but thankfully its a hurdle i have came through,i was lucky i had someone to bail me out and i spent the next few months paying every penny back,i have been debt free for a good while now and found myself a really well paid job! you would think that would be great news,but it bought more problems to my life! i dont have access to all of my wages,someone else has been in charge of my finances since last sept,when i won 13k from 2k in about 5days and then lost it all but one day i want to be a man and take care of all my finances,it makes me feel embarassed about myself!i have learnt alot already ,my discipline was going really well the last 6months,if i won 1 or 2k,i actually banked it,bought some stuff with it,waited til the next payday so i could get my next limit,i dont have to gamble everyday but when i do i love it,if i had control of my finances then i think i would do it everyday so it helps having someone there to take control of things and i dont get annoyed about not having a bet,because i know i will get my few hundred pound cut of wages coming in the next few weeks,when things were really bad in the past,i always came back more disciplined to my advantage,played it so smart then bang they got me again,its scary how you can stay in control then it controls you,i have self excluded myself from the sites the other day,i sent a self refferal to a gambling clinic in london the other day which got accepted i am just waiting on the letter to come in the post,i haven't been in a bookies for like 3 years,only gambled online,i feel nervous going in there and handing over hundreds of pounds to someone,not really my thing! im taking the steps i need to be making but its making me feel abit weird,in my head for an hour im thinking positive then the next im negative,my thoughts and feelings keep changing,my family are worried about me cause i have told them everything,i used to be a really outgoing person,to someone who just works fulltime and gambles,over the last couple years,i lost my interests and everything,i dont even have a drink anymore,i just want to be happy again,one minute im saying i have a problem and the next i dont think i have one,i believe i can quit gambling 100% but if i cant find somethin to replace it,im really worried about the future,sorry about the massive essay,but needed to let things out and say my story,thankyou to anyone who took the time to read this and any advice please please write back

You're more than welcome mate.

My best advice to you is to read other people's diaries. Ask questions. Share your thoughts, be they good or bad. Everyone on here has been through or is going through what you and i are going through just now. It's liberating to know that you're not the only one. It's one of the hooks the disease has on us for us to think we're the only one's. To make us think that we're the lowest of the low and that nobody else would understand.

Even after only 7 days gambling free i can honestly say that for the first time in as long as i can remember i feel positive. I feel there's hope. I feel there's a big world out there that i want to be a part of and to contribute to. Dare i say it, i'm happy:-)

You've done the hard part. You've admitted you have a problem. Now take all the help you can to break this horrible, sh***y destructive disease. We'll do it together mate.

Davie