Help!!!!!

Hi Irish, I’ve been there so many times. It’s horrible. You feel like an absolute idiot. You’ll keep going back over and over trying to apply logic and reason as to why etc. My advice is simply do not. It will eat you up and exacerbate the situation you are in.

Easier to say than do I realise but do try to accept the fact it is gone, it’s happened, and focus on moving forward. Don’t ever think about gambling to get back what you’ve lost. In my experience it never ever works out. On occasion I won thousands as a result but did I collect my winnings and walk away that point? Of course I didn’t, the whole lot (plus usually a whole heap more) went straight back in.

It really is important not to dwell on the what ifs, what if you hadn’t gambled that money. It really will eat you up. It’s stress on top of stress so try really hard to accept it’s done and look ahead at ways you can start to cut gambling out of your life.

Ukds69 hi & thanks for your warming post. It has actually knocked me sick this time I just hate myself and right now how I’m feeling if I never see a roulette machine again Itll be too soon!! Your right it’s just a vicious circle I wish we all could be done with it all for good if nothing else nice clear peaceful mind.

Please don’t hate yourself. I used to do that then I started turning my hatred towards the sleazy gambling companies themselves. Yes ultimately we make our own choices but, for whatever reason, probably because of how our brains are wired up and something within that, we are predisposed to it. Hatred is rarely healthy but I know exactly how you feel, been there hundreds of times, try not to beat yourself up, think about how these companies and how they are set up to actively snare vulnerable gambling addicts.

I absolutely dispise them. Which in itself creates quite a paradox, when I then go and hand over another several thousand pounds to them! (I guess that’s no different though to the smoker or alcoholic who can’t stop something they know is killing them). I’ve lost count of the amount of times I went to self exclude via live chat and was offered a ‘sweetener’ bonus to stay. Most times I was well into the dark fed up stage, having lost another small fortune, but on occasion they got me and I succumbed. I don’t know how they sleep at night I really don’t. Many final conversations at casinos just before I self exclude end with me telling them just that as well, sort makes me feel a bit better at least 🙂

Yep, that is exactly what it is, a vicious circle. And every time you do it, by the end of the cycle, the whole situation feels little bit more hopeless doesn’t it? You are clearly now in that phase where the rational part of your brain is suppressing the gambling part. That’s good in that you are less susceptible. For now...

The problem is, a trigger will turn the tables back in favour of the gambling part at some point. As sure you are right now you that won’t go back, because of how you currently feel, it won’t last. The trick is to get as many blocks in place as you can now. Put up the barricades while you can before the enemy attacks again. I’ve tried doing it with sheer willpower alone, sooner or later, perhaps after a long stressful week at the office, there I am registering a new online casino and it’s off we go again...

I do believe I am on the way to beating this crazy addiction but it hasn’t been, isn’t and won’t be in the future, easy. Keep determined. Every morning when you wake up look at yourself in the mirror and keep telling yourself that today you will not gamble until you feel the words you are saying are resonating with you. Think about a day not gambling and not giving your money to these ‘people’. You get to keep that money because even if it’s borrowed money you will have to pay it back at some point.

The most important thing really is never to dwell on the losses though. Accept it’s happened and move on. If not that in itself will be a trigger point to draw you back in at some stage.

Keep strong

I totally agree with you. Yes it’s most certainly how our brains are wired as normal considered person as they would say wouldn’t do it it’s amazing though the amount of money we spend even if can’t afford it. I’ve been battling for some time but now it’s gonna get worse and worse now scared I’m gonna loose my home etc if I take on a dmp or whatever need to start by contacting someone and moving forward from this horrible Disease. Like you said the casinos are so corrupt the casino manager must of seen the amount of money I’d lost fame up to me give me a black card which means all food and drinks is free and everytime I come in I get £100 to play with what the hell!!! Disgusting I hope we can all see sense one day and our minds be at peace

So true Irish_1. Speaking through my much experience, I have found it really is all about acceptance. Accept the money has gone. Accept that’s how we are, how our brains works. There more we can accept it, the easier it becomes to move on and not dwell on things that simply cannot be changed. It’s been 10 paces forwards, 9 paces back.

However beware. I have recently gone through a phase (and am now hopefully out of it) of that very acceptance manifesting itself into justification. Please try and skip that phase it’s a really bad one and I don’t know if you’re there yet. Hopefully just being aware of it in advance, lurking, may be enough for you to steer yourself away when it hits .

Basically, once I stopped beating myself up after every heavy loss session and learnt to accept and move on, I then started saying to myself well that is just how I am and before I knew it I was gambling even more so! It’s taken a long time and many fails but something has clicked that hadn’t previously. I’m not naive enough to think I’ve got it beat and that’s that, I will get my urges and quite probably relapses but I have built up an inner strength that is starting to work for me in positive ways. I noticed recently that with every relapse came an slight increase in strength and resolve. Having a counsellor to talk it through with helped immeasurably as well.

The casinos are the lowest of the low of the low. Like you say, they can quite obviously see who the GAs are yet what do they do? Give them more sweeteners and incentives to keep coming back to pay their wages. Disgusting is far too nice a word for these people. And I’m actually sure they do sleep at night because evidently they don’t have any sort of conscience.

Keep strong Irish_1!