I really need to talk to someone, is this the right place to talk to people about what I’m going through?
Yes, if you are struggling with gambling addiction.
I hope so 🙏
Yes, if you are struggling with gambling x
Thank you for your replies!
I really need help / advice as I feel like I just want to die after what’s happened.
I was stupid to think I had a grip on my gambling addiction and have only had the occasional relapse over recent years. But have struggled with gambling addiction / compulsions for 30 years.
The other night I went to the pub with the idea of just winning £20 on a fruit machine. Well I ended up losing £500! As a result of this I later that night panicked and withdrew my entire crypto savings account and in the process made a mess of this and lost £800 in the process.
Now all I can think about is getting that money back in whatever way it takes, but actually not via further gambling!
All this for £20 and now I can’t face the recovery of this and feel like I just want to die. I won’t make plans to actually harm myself.
I have 3 kids and constantly scrimp and save, telling them to have water when we go out instead of buying them drinks with their meals, but then I will put £500 down the drain trying to win £20.
What the hell is wrong with me! I can’t let it go and the thought that £800 just disappeared from my crypto balance because I made a mess of withdrawing it properly.
I’ve been watching this forum from a distance for some time thinking I’m fine, but now is the time to get this off my chest.
Hello Mangobreeze,
Welcome to the Forum,
I am concerned to hear it has been such circumstances that prompted you to make your first posts but glad that you have no plans to hurt yourself. If you have not already you may wish to see your GP or another medical professional about these feelings to keep you safe. The Samaritans are also available anytime on 116 123. As you can see you already have some kind replies. You may also find some peer support in our Chatrooms- there are several every day so you can pick a time that is convenient to you.
It sounds like the weight of disappointment of the losses is feeding the urge to try and chase back your losses. You describe that gambling has been an issue on and off for many years so it looks like you can distance yourself and see the pattern that you don’t want to keep repeating. If you are based in the UK, you are welcome to call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 (or web-chat) any time to have a discussion about the different forms of support available to you.
Best Wishes,
Louise
You are Normal you just are wired differently in that most people do NOT have a compulsive disorder and do NOT feel the need for a gambling Fix . The fact this gambling binge has made you really question this horrible addiction. You will continue to suffer this pain until you stop this Compulsive addiction. You can only restore your brain Circuits to normal by not completing the compulsion, we do this because the Brain is wanting the compulsion, the Idea is to starve the Brain of this fix for compulsions to subside.Best Wishes
@ypqtfao731 thank you Johnny for your reply, it helps to hear you say what you have. I am still struggling to come to terms with it though, especially as I knew what hell I would go through if I lost, but I still did it anyway!
I do feel like I’m not normal. For example even if I lose a £1 coin down the back of the sofa I would have to do whatever it takes to get that £1 back. I would often transfer £200 onto my online casino account just to win £1! Then withdraw it all. Surely this isn’t normal!!!
You are NORMAL in what you do regards Compulsive gambling. its Normal for you and other gamblers to gamble, Normal for you to lose your money, it may NOT be Normal to non gamblers.People that don't gamble will find it hard to understand why a person would want to lose their money.The Answer is called addiction this is what happens when people are hooked. The do NOT behave in a rational way, this includes me.I am a addict too !!!
@so1nlgqfkw I did this too! I wake up early before the kids and promise myself I’ll only spend £50 but before I know it £800 has gone! Then I have to scrimp and save! The guilt is overwhelming. But I’m learning these sites, machines etc are made for us to do just that! It’s not that we’re not normal it’s that we are normal we just have more of an addictive traits than others. I’m just starting my recovery journey and I’m trying to keep in my minds eye the benefits of stopping everyday! I’m excited about the prospect of having money to spend on other things etc x x x
@lzeg9jvifh thank you so much for sharing this with me and others. As sad as it sounds it’s made me feel a little less like an absolute freak!
@ypqtfao731 thank you once again, your reply makes sense and has helped me, really appreciate it 🙂
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