Hi Everyone new to here

Hi Kellie

Yes like the rest of us gamblers you were in denial that you had a problem with gambling and no doubt everyone will agree they all thought it was an easy way to make a quick few quid weather it be slots, roulette, football or horses or anything that gripped you. They say you have to forget the money you have lost in the past and start thinking positively from day 1 of your recovery, I am only on day 26 now of being gamble free but we have to start on the long road ahead somewhere, I will just give you a very brief outline of when it all started for me.

I first remember gambling when I was 15 and sneaking into the bookies, I am now 43 and it wasn't until about 14 years ago I realised I had a problem with gambling and had to remortgage to pay my debts (lucky I have a decent paid job). I went to GA meetings the nearest one to me is 85 miles away and was a big commitment to do, I attended for 2/3 years and after a while thought I could do it on my own ( stupid mistake) and stopped going to meetings ! Around 9 years I moved jobs and got a bit of redundancy and as a family with 2 young kids we bought a car, had a holiday and put 10k into isa's. I was still not gambling at this time but it wasn't long before I was and about 7 years ago my wife found out I was gambling again and I had blown the 10k without her knowing. She booted me out and I started attending GA and after many months my wife decided to take me back n give me another chance against her families wishes. I was very grateful for this and began attending GA on regular basis than I had been. Then on 28/12/2016 my world fell apart again when my wife found out I was gambling again and had been for around 15 - 18 months without her knowing anything ( gamblers are very good at lies and deceit) I have been booted out again n this time she has told me it's over as her and the boys can't live in a world of lies and deceit like they had been ! I did say a brief outline so won't rabble on anymore, but I am back at GA meeting and intend to be at them for the rest of my life as I don't want to ever gamble again and I need to prove to my 2 boys that there dad is not a loser but I am totally ashamed and embarrassed by what I've done to them all. I intend to try n fight for my marriage but it could all be in vain ?

You can probably relate to some stuff Kellie and I hope reading my brief story will help and my new moto is "it's good to talk" and I am only taking it one day at a time !

All the Best

Darren

Hi kellie.

Im glad you posted your feelings on the forum

Seriously self exclusion is easy. Grab that moment of pride. You may need to pop to a photo booth......... £5 for five photos but its the best fiver you will EVER spend.

Go into that Bingo place and ask for the forms which I think they must have by the counter. Dont let them delay with meeting times. There must be someone in charge on the premesis. You exclude when you want to!

You dont need to make a scene and it can be done quietly and calmly. It doesnt take long and you stress that you are not to be welcome there because you dont want to gamble anymore. Easy and its a moment of self respect like no other.

I win every day because I dont gamble...you will realise that and become very strong about it

Seriously what did they ever offer you but the devious temptation to clean your bank balance out.?? What did they ever offer you but misery?? Im telling you that the fun went decades ago for me if it ever was. "When the fun stops"....I dont think the "fun" ever really started!!

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Darren thank you for your response I was reading your posts earlier and I can relate to some of your experiences. I really do hope you get your second chance with your family. I know it's hard for people to understand when they haven't been in this situation but your far from a loser. I hope your kids know how hard your trying. You've made huge progress I myself joined the forum few years ago then convinced myself I didn't have a problem I could control it 6 years later and I've spiralled to the point of no return. Started with £3 in a slot machine £500 win that was it hook, line and sinker! I've wasted thousands. Were very good at lies and deceit that I totally agree with and being in denial. No more denial from now on this is only day one on this journey. Will keep you updated but thank you so much for sharing your experience and a inspirational man yes loser no far from it. I appreciate your honesty and thank you so much for being so honest and open I'm not at that stage yet as I'm pretty ashamed of how life has got to this but know I will be open in time. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Joydivider responded to you on a different thread. Thank you so much

Woodley3 my problem sounds very similar to yours. Two baby girls who I adore and love so much. Day 1 plz god let me succeed for mine and my family sanity

Thanks for your kind words Kellie they are very much appreciated and let's hope things do get easier and better by putting measures in place and look forward to reading your posts in future.

Clarkey41 I feel your pain I really do, all I'm going to say is that your two young girls won't know that there dad had a gambling addiction/illness if you want to kick this horrible disease, let's not kid ourselves it won't be easy but could be very rewarding watching them grow up as one big family. I look forward to reading future posts.

All the Best

Darren

Hi Kellie brilliant that you have posted after being a member for a while and realising it is a problem. We all live in denial that it's a problem and I certainly thought I could control it but soon realised you get hooked so easily. I too was playing slots but online. I have since self excluded/put blocks in place and the thought of playing again really does make me feel sick. I'm finding the more I think about how it made me feel whilst I was gambling, it wasn't fun at all. Most of the time it was fear knowing I would lose the money but yet continued to do so. I'm intending on remembering those feelings to keep me going on my gamble free life. Well done on the start of your journey. X

6 Days gf doesn't sound much but is a huge achievement. I've learnt I gamble on emotions so when I was happy I'd gamble to celebrate when I was stressed I'd go gamble to wind down which only ended up causing more stress. Thanks for your comments everyone I do find the forum a tower of strength. If it's any help to anyone I've done a weekly action plan so the times I'd usually go and feed the greedy machines ive imputed different activities like running, gym, (wanted to lose a bit of weight for a bit) it seems to be working well and takes your mind off the addiction. Know it might not work for everyone but if it helps anyone that's great. X