Hi family member with addiction

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(@zoqhdxfi29)
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Hi.

My brother is addicted to gambling although he would never admit it.

He has lost his job,his partner,and his home.

My main concern is the effect this is having on our elderly mother who is constantly worrying about him and also enabling him by giving and lending money.

We aren't talking the odd tenner here and there but thousands.

A few months ago he asked to borrow some money. My mom said no. My brother said he'd drive over to a friend who owed him money. Next thing, he tells my mom he was stopped by the police for having no car tax or insurance and he had to pay a massive fine (I'm fairly sure they impound cars under those circumstances). Then he said it was all her fault and if she'd just lent him the money in the first place,it would never have happened. 

His latest story is that he owes someone £6K for drugs (to our knowledge he doesn't take any drugs) and he either needs to pay them everything back in the next few days,or,he will have to act as a drugs mule.

Of course my mom is worried sick and doesn't want her son to be beaten up or imprisoned. I've tried telling her that it's another one of his stories but she doesn't know what to believe. 

I've suggested she hire a private detective so we can find out exactly what is going on. I've thought of intervention but as he won't admit he has a problem, I can't see it working.

Does anyone have any suggestions, please?

 

Thank you.

 
Posted : 26th May 2025 10:27 pm
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Hello bigsis,

Welcome to the Forum,

You are a kind older sister and daughter spending time reaching out and trying resolve this situation. It is understandable from what you have described that you are looking to safeguard your mother from any (or any further) mental, emotional or financial impact. It sounds stressful for yourself too so having someone who understands to listen you may help you to feel not so alone in this. This sounds like quite a complex situation that may benefit you (if you are based in Great Britain) from phoning our Helpline and discussing this in more detail with one of our Advisors on 0808 8020 133. Your mother is more than welcome to call us herself for support too.

Best Wishes,

Louise

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 27th May 2025 10:57 am

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