Hi all I'm a 46 year old woman who hss been gambling for about 30 years over the last 5 years it has become out of control I am in £40,000 worth of debt and will still put my last tenner in a machine even if it means i dont eat that day, i find myself chasing my losses all the time, My family have no clue as to what extent i gamble, the funny thing is people come to me for money advice and i can tell them what they should be doing but i can't do it myself. Well today is the day I stop I have excluded from the casino and on monday I will call the bookies exclusion number and ban myself from all of them in town, I have installed K-9 on my laptop, and am looking into councelling to help me get my life back. I am seriously at rock bottom. I guess i'm looking for pointers to steer me in the right direction on this long journey to freedom from gambling.
Chris
Hi Chris, you have made a good start. You say you have debt, have you got a repayment plan sorted? If you contact Gam Care you can be assessed for counselling sessions (free of charge). Have you thought about attending GA meetings. Start a diary on here when you are ready, there is lots of support.
Thanks Rhoda I have spoke to Gam Care and they have given me a phone number for councelling which I will ring on Monday, I have excluded from my local casino and on Monday I have a number to ring to exclude from all the bookies in my locality, that will be a huge help to me, I am sick of feeling worthless and also lonely from trying to hide my problem. I have contacted step change but not sure I want to go down that route, I can make repayments to my debt every month as long as I stay off gambling I feel a huge sense of relief just by talking about it and taking small steps to conquer this addiction.
Onwards and Upwards
Chris
hi chris
you can do it and you will get there.its a long process but just try and take a day at a time and as each day passes the thoughts of gambling will ease and you will feel better in yourself and most of all feel proud of yourself and that inner strength you will find and conquer this ghastly disease called gambling
jimbo
Hi, Chris..re keeping a diary.
On my lowest days I read others diaries as this helps me the most. I don't always write, but I'm there in the background. I tend to write when I am in self conflict with myself almost reasoning with myself to not do it. For me what helps the most is keeping busy
How are you today Chris?
Hi Katie, I've been keeping busy working a lot, and to tell you the truth not had an urge to gamble, I think I'm so disgusted with my self that I have no desire to gamble again, I know it's only been since saturday but I think this has been a long time coming. and i'm at the point now that I don't want to live another day letting gambling control my life, which it has for so long. Since making that decision it's like a weight has gone from around me, I no longer feel like a fraud and a liar anymore, for the first time in a lot of years I am being truthful to myself. I am setting goals instead of hiding away afraid to speak incase someone sees through me and see's the gambler I am. I know time will tell but since I said no more I feel positive that with help from the right people I can do this.
onward and upwards Chris
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