Now I've been a long time reader of this forum but today after losing all self control in an arcade with my kids, it wasn't even trying to win money just stupid tickets to 'win' toys I could buy in Poundland. I thought I'd better commit to addressing my issues. I'm 28, married, 2 wonderful children and a good job, but I can feel the pressure building on my family life.
Untill November last year I had gambled infrequently and responsibly on weekends away when visiting cities with casinos. But last summer after a few good wins in a row in casinos playing balckjack, I started to dabble in live casino games online. This is where it all went wrong. Whilst I understood the odds of the game I felt I could do well as I could perfectly remember the 'perfect' strategy.
Soon my wins dried up, time flew by and every moment alone whilst my wife worked nights I racked up a few thousand pounds of debt, but this is relatively small compared to my income. I knew I had a problem but no idea how big of a problem, this would come to me only a few weeks later.
In early December I had an unbelievable win, in only a few hours I was up 25k playing live blackjack. I stopped and withdrew. I felt amazing, paid off debt , paid off my car and had the best bank balance I had seen in my life. This feeling did not last long. Very quickly I had deposited and lost everything. But I did self exclude at this point realising how foolish I was. That money would have been a sizeable chuck of a deposit on a house. Something my wife really wants.
Fast forward a few months of not gambling and I sign up to a new sites, lose and self exclude. This vicious cycle has continued all year, finding ways round GamStop is too easy.
Now here I am 20k I'm debt, feeling so lost and alone. Knowing that if my wife finds out she would be destroyed, her one dream is to buy our own house.
I have always struggled with depression but put on a brave face. I really want to kick this habit, if I continue I honestly feel I will end up taking my own life.
A bit of a long introduction but I needed to get it off my chest. I know I can do this, I just know I don't have any friends or family I can talk to.
Hi, just read ur opening post and its seems that big win left u in a bad situation thinking u could do it again. Thankfully if u stop now and you earn good money u can pay it back and start saving for a deposit. U have the blocks in place. I feel it would be best to tell the mrs as altho it will be hard you will feel a lot better after and u will feel relieved that u wont have to put on this brave face all the time. Beleive me ive been in a similar situation, its hard to start to get it out but once u start they will be shocked but supportive, after all u haven't commited a crime you vse just made a mistake. Good luck.
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Hi, first of all thank you for sharing your story man.
You are not alone in this. Many people here are in debt, or have been. I was in debt as well, but luckily I could only go few hundreds in debt, and would pay that with my weekly payslip - that continued for few months. I was borrowing money for rent, for food sometimes.. so I can get through... All this time hoping for that big win that was always close. finally gave up 2016. Lost all my money that I had acces to-luckily I had another account with no debit card and had like 10 k on it, lost my job, got done for stealing, luckily didnt go to prison.. as this was first time me doing something like that.
I am afraid you will have to tell your wife about the issue, before you do something even more stupid, like starting stealing (like I did). You are in debt and you have to discuss it with her. You have to sit down and admit you have got a problem.. Then is all step by step... I know you love your wife and dont wanna ruin her dreams, but you guys are young you have the whole time ahead of you to make money... I still havent told my wife which was a girlfriend when all that happen, I would like to, but dont wanna hurt her, the money is gone, I hve been saving now, things are okay. I have been on antidepressants now from april this year.. hope everything works out for you man. Please keep in touch, and keep us updated.
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