I am a young outgoing guy who has never experienced mental health problems before. I one night lost control of myself and last a large amount of money gambling on horses and greyhound, which was so out of character for me. Which sent me into a state of shock and frenzy. For weeks now I have felt on edge and anxious. Also have had depressed feelings and sadness. I know I’m not an addicted gambler but this one poor choice and loss of control has put me in this situation. How long does the feelings of loss/pain last for ? And what do you suggest are best ways to help/cope? Thanks
Hi Thomas sorry to hear that. And you say your not addicted and its a one off...but if you lost control even just that one night if you gambled again if could lead to a bigger problem. So you have done well to recognise that night was an issue. However a big problem that leads most people to addiction is carrying on to chase their losses or hoping for a win. In which they find themselves to keep going.
Youve done the right thing coming here for font beat yourself up as you have done well to recognise it.
Maybe use this experience to reflect on what gambling could do and how it made you feel having this loss.
You can sign up to gamstop for 6 months up to 5 years in the gamstop website for free it self excludes you.
Whats the reason behind the gambling episode are you trying to have fun?make money? Bored ? Trying to take you mind of other things ?
Its worth trying to figure that out.
Lou x
Hello Thomas27 and welcome to the forum.
I hope that you will take the advice and take action so you will not gamble again
It addicts people very fast and you have seen how quick and confusing it is to lose all control. It shows you are vulnerable to it like millions of others who fell for this.
The big problem is that it can play on your mind as naturally you dont like losing money. You may think you can get it back but you have to let it go. Yes the losses will cause anxiety and even depression. However you may find that you were depressed and anxious which is why you may have turned to gambling as an escape high
The money has gone and we advise that you tell somebody close to you that you love and trust. A trouble shared will ease your mind and they can help by monitoring you and giving moral support.
You are not alone. You have done what we all did. I need you to focus that its a mugs game and if you continue gambling it will only get worse.
Leave it be and start a recovery to calm and heal your mind. You are better than gambling and you dont need it in your life.
Please take steps to self exclude and block. You might not think you are addicted but its a nasty addiction which alters minds...In the moment you were addicted which shows you could get carried away again at any time.
the feeling of loss can nag at you , You have to use every thought process to think well you are still here and its only money...yes it hurts but you cant get in a time machine and go back
If it costs you that to stay away from gambling its a lesson well learnt. Ive gambled away a small fortune over decades so you actually have to count some blessings that you are going to stop now and get some help to talk it through
Keep using the forum and keep strong
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi Thomas
I’ve ad the same feelings for a week now having last a considerable amount of money last week. I signed up to this forum Saturday and found that talking helps and there are some great people who go through what we do. Just keep chatting if it makes the pain go away which will do I assure you. I suffer massive stress and anxiety when I have. A big loss and I just want to crumble. But hang in there mate.
Hi Thomas.
How are you feeling this morning? A bit better I hope. I can understand you are feeling in shock, and shock as you know can start all kinds of emotional and physical responses that may be new and alarming for you.
What brilliant advice you've received from others already, there's nothing I could possibly add.
Take some comfort in the knowledge that you are young and with the passing of time what has happened will become just a blip in a successful and happy long life. You'll have to do some hard thinking and hard work to safeguard yourself but look at is as though you've had an incredibly lucky escape and focus on better things.
All the best
Hello Thomas27 and welcome to the forum.
I hope that you will take the advice and take action so you will not gamble again
It addicts people very fast and you have seen how quick and confusing it is to lose all control. It shows you are vulnerable to it like millions of others who fell for this.
The big problem is that it can play on your mind as naturally you dont like losing money. You may think you can get it back but you have to let it go. Yes the losses will cause anxiety and even depression. However you may find that you were depressed and anxious which is why you may have turned to gambling as an escape high
The money has gone and we advise that you tell somebody close to you that you love and trust. A trouble shared will ease your mind and they can help by monitoring you and giving moral support.
You are not alone. You have done what we all did. I need you to focus that its a mugs game and if you continue gambling it will only get worse.
Leave it be and start a recovery to calm and heal your mind. You are better than gambling and you dont need it in your life.
Please take steps to self exclude and block. You might not think you are addicted but its a nasty addiction which alters minds...In the moment you were addicted which shows you could get carried away again at any time.
the feeling of loss can nag at you , You have to use every thought process to think well you are still here and its only money...yes it hurts but you cant get in a time machine and go back
If it costs you that to stay away from gambling its a lesson well learnt. Ive gambled away a small fortune over decades so you actually have to count some blessings that you are going to stop now and get some help to talk it through
Keep using the forum and keep strong
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Great reply
Look at this holistically.
The way you make sense of your present is by the experiences of your past. So you have lost money in a way you don't recognize? Ever lost a wallet? You will feel panic and anxiety. Then you will relate that to the current experience. From this point, you do not need to make this any bigger. Just understand why you feel bad.
2nd. Gambling addiction is like building a brick wall. For every new activity, you do another brick goes onto the wall with mortar. And the more it goes on the more solid it becomes.
Stop chasing losses now. No win can be chased if you only intend to gamble on. If you let it go your feelings of angst and depression will gradually disappear.
Best
C
Dear @thomas27,
Well done for posting on the Forum. Glad to see your post has already received lots of support and encouragement from the Forum members.
It sounds like you are going through a challenging period right now and must be disorienting for you.
Sorry to hear you are feeling low. Loss can be difficult to comes to terms with, however with some effort from you and the right support you will get back to your usual outgoing self. The feelings of loss and pain do pass, and it does get better.
You mention about feeling depressed and anxious, I will urge you to get in touch with your GP, they can offer practical support with the way you are feeling.
You do not have to be in this alone. Please contact our Helpline, you can talk things through with our friendly advisers. They can offer support and help you look at strategies to help alleviate some of the stress you are under. Our HelpLine is on 0808 8020 133 and our 1:1 Livechat are both open 24 hours every day.
In the meantime, as mentioned above by one of the Forum members. There are tools and resources available to help you cope better and prevent your access to gambling.
Gamstop is a free online self-exclusion tool where you ban yourself from all UK licensed betting sites. You can choose how long to set the ban for, which is from 6 months to 5 years.
If you call through to our Helpline, we can give you a free link to a gambling specific blocking software. This is called Gamban and it blocks all gambling content on up to 15 devices.
You can also contact your bank to block gambling transactions if you are wanting to take a break from gambling.
Lastly, you might want to look at our self-help resources workbooks on our websites. They are designed to assist anyone who has recognised gambling may be an issue for them. This will look at ways you can cut down or stop gambling completely. https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/self-help-resources/
Hope this helps a bit,
Wishing you all the best
Vanessa
Forum Admin
@thomas27 Hi. Okay, you're not a problem gambler but you went a bit crazy one night and lost enough money to affect you mentally.
Maybe liken it to your first time drunk. Oh that's rough, headache, being sick, doing stupid things, regret, but eventually you'll be okay again. But here's the key, especially short term. Don't drink again for a while.
Same with this splurge you had. The money is gone, you feel bad and sorry for yourself, maybe some short term plans might have to change for a small while. Ok, don't gamble again. it will get better, you'll start to recoup your savings through earnings. It won't get fixed over night but it will eventually. You said you're a young guy, plenty of time left to get back on track. Time will dull the feelings you have now, and hopefully serve a a reminder of the danger of gambling.
When the fun stops STOP.
Chris.
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