How to avoid gambling to win back money?

You will get plenty of help on here...I'm only on day 13 so not very much help.

But I can say that ringing gamecare made a huge difference and has already helped me to start this journey...stay strong and take one day at a time...good luck x

Hi Harrybox

You will find the help you need here. We will continue to tell you that its not a get your money back later scheme and you need to stop right now and save any money you have left.

You must be ready to stop and talk to the people close to you.

Youve seen what gambling does and you must now give someone control of your money and thank the heavens you have anything left...ie a roof over your head a wife and whatever gambling has not taken from you.

If you carry on it will take the lot.

Please ring gamcare and start self excluding and blocking from every gambling place.

All the best

Hi mate sorry to hear you've got yourself into trouble like this...but believe me things do get better. You need to admit that you have a problem and read these forums as much as you can as you will find inspiration in each and every post. In response to your quandary "should I gamble to get myself out of more gambling debt?" You really mustn't and you must stop immediately.

You got the debt through gambling! You really think you're going to quit if you get it back. Read these forums..that never happens! You won't win because you won't stop. We, as gamblers, seem to think that we are entitled to win our money back and it is only a matter of time before the bookies giv us some luck. Gambling doesn't work like that mate! You don't just get even after a certain period of time. There will never be an even for you...you must just count your losses and yourself lucky that it's over! No more stress! You will never lose a penny again because you are admitting you have an illness and you are taking control of your life back. It's not your fault you're like this but you will never be able to gamble sensibly again. This addiction by its nature is impossible to control but you can cure it by saying no to it. Admit it's over and move on! The one piece of advice id like to give is: please make a list of all the pros and cons of gambling in your life and be ruthlessly honest with yourself. What has it ever done for you that has given any benefit to you or your family's happiness? Once this is done maybe you can have a framework within which you can address the real reasons why you are gambling. It might surprise you that it's really not about the money after all.

how are you getting on at the moment? Stay with these forums and get to a GA meeting when you can. We support each other here and life will get better for you I promise. Today we say no to gambling. We will never win because we can't stop.

Hi Harrybox

I've been in your situation and realise how hard it is. It's not what you want to hear but the only option you have is to come clean with your wife and admit the full extent of your problem. That way you wouldn't lose a penny of the 2K, it will be put to good use. The 20K is gone. Find a local GA meeting and start recovering day by day. I wish you all the best.

Have you ever heard of the threshold of pain concept ?

It basically was coined and written about by an authority on gambling, who has authored many poker books and other general gambling books. He isnt an author who deals in recovery from gambling but thats not to say that there isnt a truth to be gained from his wisdom.

The threshold of pain concept effectively is that we no longer have the capacity to rationalize after losing an amount of money that is beyond what we believed was a comfortable/acceptable amount to lose. We have now gone over the threshold, and losing some more is no longer generating extra pain, we already are maxed out on the pain we can experience. The danger when over this threshold is that another 200 quid isnt going to matter when we have lost 20k is it , barely even registers as a loss? add another 400 isnt going to matter now is it and so on. 20k becomes 22k, becomes 25k .... Most ganblers will relate to this as chasing, but at a point we arent even chasing really... we wont ever get back our 20k from the next 200 or 400 or whatever money we push at this, but the feeling its damaging us further is also reduced because it doesnt register as meaningful in our already heightened state of pain and losses.

can £200 not lost buy the same things as £200 earned, or won ... ? Yes but when we are still thinking about the 20k we have lost, and have a couple of hundred in our pockets we are not thinking about that mney having any purchasing power. Again you will hear compulsive gamblers saying their money is gambling tokens. This is also because we have desensitised to the actual purchasing power and value of our money in the real world outside of the dreamscape of gambling.

Short version only when you decide to leave behind the losses, and treat money as available to use for normal things again will you begin to recover. The pain will still be there in your recovery, but it lessens with time and with new positives in your life, rather than by that magical redeeming winning bet (that simply doesnt exist) ..

Best wishes.

Wow! & in there lies a the vicious circle... Superb post and thread

Thata a great post from Manupnow which puts it very well. That heightened state of chemistry mixed with the sinking feeling of losses is a lethal combination. The brain knows something has gone badly wrong but that feeling is still overcome by a manic rush of playing which is only slowly subsiding.

I feel at that stage money is going in zombie mode. There is no actual sense of reality just a slight gut feeling that the chase is on. At that stage I was physically and mentally incapable of walking away. A fleeting thought that the last wallet money is for food/ electricity/ rent........ but in it goes. At no time beyond the point of no return are the warning thoughts enough to matter.

There is a point of no return which I have felt coming on. I have felt it rendering me powerless and it becomes overwhelming.

The first blink of reality comes when you pat your pockets still in auto mode...then you pat them again....nothing....it starts to sink in...I pat them again...then surely the wallet has most of that £100 left ...lunge for wallet.....no it doesnt....strange check again.....nope

Only at this stage does the low gutteral reality start sinking in. Feelings of foolishness, embarrassment and suddenly the attendant seems like your enemy again as you accept you are cleaned out....skint

The other crazy thing is considering that machines almost have human feelings. Like it knows you on a Tuesday from last Friday..like its been waiting for you and its time for payback in some way. Its utter addiction madness and it is a form of chemical cosh. Youve picked the lucky day when its recharged or ready to pay everything back. This is all how an addicted mind plays tricks

Horrible evil things and I dont mind talking about it.

That hasnt given me urges and Im so glad I have excluded. I try not to have hate...I just feel indifferent to them now like theres no attraction.