I Am a Gambling Addict

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(@hcgmspje7b)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

I am a gambling addict. I have a compulsion to slots that I haven't been able, so far, to control. If anything, it has gotten worse. I am a 40-year-old woman, and I started gambling in 2017. In the past few years, I have definitely spent a few thousand pounds, probably 15 or 20K. I had a divorce in the meantime - not related to gambling - and after some economic hardship that had somehow helped me limit my addiction (you can't spend what you can't have) I have now the perfect relationship and some financial security.

My partner is doing well, and I am not paying any rent, nor do I have any particular financial concerns. So, I restarted putting all that I earn into gambling. My partner doesn't know, and I cannot tell him. At the beginning of our relationship, I used to play cards with some friends and I remember him being very concerned and having a conversation with me about the importance for him to be with someone who doesn't gamble. I can't tell him; I don't want to break the trust, and I am doing what I can to control myself.

Of course, I need to lie to him to hide the hours and hours I spend gambling. I usually say I have to work till very late, lock myself in the bathroom saying I don't feel well, or go to bed very early and play on my phone. I hate pretending, and I love him with all my heart, so I am trying to quit gambling for his sake more than mine.

I read on this forum or on other websites that many people don't understand why their partners can't just stop. I can see how difficult it is to understand from the outside, and that's why I can't open up to him. I just need to sort this out before it becomes impossible to hide, or our relationship comes to a natural stage in which we will need to invest in our future, and I have nothing left apart from a lot of explaining to do.

I am lucky, I am loved, and I am in love. I have a roof over my head and no immediate need for money. But I am full of self-loathing for not being able to control my obsession with slots. I have registered with GamStop, but there are plenty of casinos where you can still play. I blocked my debit card payments towards gambling sites, but some casinos accept credit cards. I downloaded blocking software for my phone and tablet. But can't find anything working on the Mac. I have added the recent casinos I used to a list of blocked websites. But every day, new ones are popping up. And I am weak.

I am very scared of what I can lose, and I want to try hard. I hope I'll find the way.

This topic was modified 21 hours ago by carol-london
 
Posted : 7th January 2025 8:48 pm
 ab86
(@s2fo509uwz)
Posts: 1
 

Stay strong, I lied to my wife, twice. Second most recently. I was just doing free spins second time around but she found out. I thought it would be ok as I wasn’t spending but of course it wasn’t I was lying to myself. We are still talking but are separated and I’m not so sure I’ll get another chance this time. I get what you mean, it’s so hard. Of course I would choose the woman I love and my kids over gambling but it is an addiction. All I can say is I wish I told my wife second time around like I said I would. Maybe she’d of stayed by my side and helped. Talking about it to others you trust definitely helps though. Stay strong x all the best 

 
Posted : 7th January 2025 9:21 pm
(@wysiwyg)
Posts: 7
 

Honesty is always the best policy.

I hid how hard my problem was, admittedly not as bad as yours sounds. The more I hid it, the worse I felt.

Speaking to the significant other was my release. Tell him everything. Ask for support. It will be a relief to you and hopefully a burden you can both share and work through.

 
Posted : 8th January 2025 3:36 am

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