I am at the end of my rope

the title of your thread reminded me of this poem

THE ROPE

Gambling sure had a grip on me.

And I wanted to be gambling free.

But giving up was really hard.

As I felt scared and confused my whole life was out of control.

And I fell down a gambling hole.

I stooped to a rock bottom low.

How to cope?

I didn't know from the hole I had to get out.

But doing that I had my doubt.

I'd tried to do it on my own.

But in the darkness I felt alone i decided to go and attend GA.

As I was in a desperate way.

I needed to learn how to cope.

Going to GA was my only hope in a terrible state I went to GA.

I really didn't have much to say.

I mainly listened to others there.

Sitting nervously in my chair.

GA for me was my last resort.

I really needed a lot of support.

Other members helped me a lot.

Support and wisdom I got.

One thing freely given to me.

Was hope for my recovery.

Hope that I too could be.

Like others gamble free.

it felt like a rope was there.

Just dangling in the air.

I could grab onto it or not.

Or in the hole I could stay and rot.

I chose to reach out for it.

At first I really felt like ****.

I had to hold on for dear life.

To let go I'd have strife.

The rope was a mighty length

And I didn't have much strength.

I could see a rock bottom below.

And stupidly I let go.

I tried to learn from my mistake

And the rope again I did take.

My higher power helped me.

With the rope and my recovery.

For me the rope is a lifeline.

Holding onto it now feels fine.

There's a supportive GA friend.

At the ropes other end

Credit Michelle(Manchester). New life magazine GA.

Thanks for the post Oldham! The poem was very relatable. Feeling better about myself today it’s offically 3 weeks since I’ve been on the online slots and I get the urge every now and again but that’s all it is. I suppose I had my crash with the pub fruities last Thursday so I’m officially 5 days gamble free my plan of action is to avoid the places as best I can this week shall be interesting. Helps that I have no money.

Hello Loz, well done for registering with GAMSTOP. I wish you well on staying strong and keeping away from the fruits.

Take care,

Simon

Thanks Simon x

Hi Loz you mentioned Alan Carr’s book - I have read that book and I tried to take it in, and I sort of get it! That hunger and desire to gamble / safety net / stress reliever etc etc is utter devastation waiting to happen! Easier said than done, but I have managed in times of stress and when I need that comfort blanket I have managed to say no and do something else for that moment! It may be I have accepted that this isn’t about winning! More about living! Let’s get hold of the rope and pull ourselves back into normal thoughts! Easier said than done! But if I can after years of self harm I can say I want to recover you can too - one day at a time - keep posting!