Following the death of my Uncle when I was 12 I started playing slot machines at a local arcade. I slowly became more and more entranced by the machines and by about the age of 20 I was in so much debt I was borrowing money, occasionally stealing it, getting credit card and maxing them out. I then got pregnant had my child and up until I met my current husband I carried on playing (taking my child with me tp the arcades)
When I met my husband we moved and I stopped completely, didn’t even look at a machine.
About a year and a half ago my gran passed away following a stroke and a long illness.
I then found online gaming!!!! Ever since I have been playing weekly it seems to be the only way I can distance myself from everything else.
I have a lovely family, nice home and decent job but it just consumes me. It's almost like it takes over,
I have self-excluded from so many sites but always seem to find another I can access.
But I'm here now and hoping this will help me move on and STOP
Hi Bedders
Sorry to hear of everything that's gone on and welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place if you WANT to stop ! It's horrible what gambling does to us and our loved ones suffer because of consequences. I'm having some councilling and finding it really helpful as we gamble to underlining issues and these trigger points could be due to the deaths in your family ? A counsellor will work with you on this and as I've said I'm finding it really helpful, you can ring gamcare and get some free councilling if you want ? Does your husband know about everything or not ? If he does I would let him take control of your finances as this will also help ! Gambling does take over us and we are in a different world when we gamble and are oblivious to everyone else that we are causing harm to and it's horrible when you look back and reflect on what we were doing ! Hope things improve for you and shall keep an eye on future posts.
"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"
All the Best
Darren
Thanks for your reply, it feels good to interact with people who actually know how this feels.
He is aware of my issues with gambling but I promised I'd stopped after the last blip last year. It's now got bad again. He does have control of our money and puts money in an account for me but I just clear it as soon as I get it then feel totally gutted afterwards.
Yeah it's all horrible ain't it and we do hate ourselves and beat ourselves up for what we have done and rightly so to a point. I know this is gunna sound awful and I can only give my advice on this after what happened to me, I was to scared to tell my wife or anyone as I thought I would be seen as a failure yet again and she found out and it's not being very nice not living with my wife and kids for the last 8 weeks and there's not a day gone by where I haven't had a cry ! I'm not saying it wouldn't of being any difference if I had told her I will never know but I think there always a chance when someone is asking for help ! I personally would be telling your husband, it's not gunna be a bed of roses but hopefully he will understand and help you through these dark days ! Hope you get things sorted and will look out for future posts.
All the Best
Darren
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