Intro

Hi,

I’m 32 years old. I’ve been gambling since my late teens (poker, horses, bookies, football, spreadbetting and casinos both live / online). Things got really bad in March 2015 when I lost a spread bet on shirt numbers in a football match and I chased my losses on an online casino. I lost all my savings (£5k) by maxing out a credit card. 

I came home that night and I was in tears, feeling mentally and physically sick. I owned up to my wife and dad, came very close to divorce but promised never to touch it again. I self excluded from all the main sites.

i went to 3 GA meetings but my work became busy and I felt I had the discipline to stop myself. I went 4 years without gambling or even buying a lottery ticket.

in 2019, I slowly started to bet on a few horse races and football matches (pretty much always losing). It wasn’t severe (maybe £50 per month).

this lockdown period has really tested me. I got a salary cut at work, struggling to cope with 2 very young kids. My wife is in statutory mat pay. I feel selfish for reaching out for help. I recognise that I am extremely privileged. I have my wife, my family, my parents as my support network. I can put food on the table for my family. I and my close family have our health. I know there are thousands of people out there in much worse positions than myself.

I have however, not reacted well to this period. It has brought back old habits. I started playing poker with old friends again. I really enjoyed it. But I started chasing my losses. I didn’t realise how easy it was to set up an online blackjack / roulette website within a minute.

i even tried to send exclude myself through gamcare and uploaded the relevant documentation but it’s not been confirmed and I’ve continued to gamble on sites since I processed my request to self exclude.

through a combination of online poker, blackjack and 3 card poker I’ve lost all the money in my current account. I’ll survive, I know I’m fortunate but I feel very low. I’m ashamed at myself and I’ve let my kids, wife and dad down. I told my dad and he was livid at me. He told me words that implied I was a jealous / greedy person. My dad is normally my rock but I’ve seemed to tip him over the edge. That feedback was really crushing.

ive not told my wife. I can’t as I think she’d divorce me this time.

trying to stop for good although I said that yesterday and lost more money tonight...

i thought it would be useful to share my story and also reach out and see if anyone could help me process my gamstop application and had any other advice generally?

also keen to know if ‘lockdown’ has caused other people to revisit the dark side after previously being able to knock this disease on the head.

thanks all

Daniel

t

Hi Daniel,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with your gambling.  It sounds like you have recognised the reasons why you started to gamble again with the financial pressure and lockdown.  Well done for starting the registration process with Gamstop and reaching out for support to your father and on the forum.  

If you would like assistance with completing the Gamstop process please contact gamstop.co.uk or call their helpline which is open 8 am to midnight daily.

You might also like to call the HelpLine which is open 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 or NetLine for additional information and support at this time.

Best Wishes

Clare 

Forum Admin

The difference between doing and looking is action. IF I told you to empty your bank account poor some petrol on it and set it alight what would you say? I am nuts crazy an idiot etc? You would certainly not consider it as it pays for food mortgage bills etc but metaphorically speaking you are doing something similar when you are having fun with your poker buddies. The problem is that once that thrill has gone you actively try and correct the harm that it has caused by chasing in new money. It is a habit. It is hardcoded in your head to repeat. You have anchored it in your brain and you will need to force a directional change by acting differently.  By confronting the bad feeling of NOT to gamble and to actively put yourself on a different task when you feel that urge. It could be boring stuff like cleaning washing dishes jogging down the park. Anything but the actual gamble. It won't come freely. You will have to fight yourself to do these things. Some people spend an entire adult lifetime to counter the urges gambling brings so if you want to change act and things may change.

Best

C

Hi

If not done so already and if your dad or partner agrees you need to hand over all banking, cards everything over urgently, like many gamblers you can not trust yourself with money at this time or perhaps any time in the future, if serious and you want to stop gambling you need to disassociate yourself away from people who gamble. I would recommend getting in touch with a addiction councillor who understands this dangerous addiction asap, you need to come clean with your wife about the latest relapse right now, how she reacts is up to her and be prepared for any fall out as she will be hurting, try and do anything to keep your mind of gambling, put all efforts into your children, walking, painting anything than any temptation to the gambling trap, I can relate to what you say but you have to remember if you keep the compulsion going you will always come back to a big fat zero 0!! This is my thought process and you have to be very hard on yourself and to work at stopping.

Good luck 

S