Good morning all, I am popping on this morning to provide some hope and positivity. You can recover!!
I began gambling at 18 when I went to university - the freedom of being away from home, having access to money but most importantly having control of my own time proved a toxic mix for me. Within a short time I was spending all my free cash and time in the bookies! Despite this chaos I managed to secure a top result in my degree which is my only saving grace from this time.Â
When I walked into a bookies it was like entering a new world which was outside the realms of reality - spending money I couldn’t afford but the excitement of gambling trumped the money worries while in the bookies. Reality only hit once you walked out that door pockets empty and the feeling of worthlessness returned. I would walk home in a different bubble now one of hopelessness and despair - asking why did I just do that again??? I was up £500 why did I not leave? I now know the answer to this it’s because it was never about the money…. It was about the high of gambling, the excitement of winning and the subsequent excitement of chasing losses which was the key the financial side was secondary. It was a hard lesson but a worthwhile one gambling is like a drug big highs followed by bigger lows…..my drug just happened to be gambling!
Fast forward 20 years of trying to stop, not wanting to stop, being in denial and here we are - 3.5 years gambling free!
I am now 38 have a beautiful wife, two beautiful kids and a wee dog! Life is good - oh and gambling is no longer part of my life. I lost my sister almost 8 years ago to cancer aged 30 that was the start of the change in my mindset. I walked into my local bookies daily, looking around I saw the same faces, men in their 60s glum, no one smiling and I thought you will be one of these sad men one day. I made a choice that day that I wouldn’t be I wanted more from life for my family but most importantly I wanted more from life for me. I have taken it day by day I started by taking ownership of my debts, I took out a debt management plan with pay plan and became debt free over a 5 year period. I began to enjoy the simple things in life again dog walks, taking kids to park, cooking and appreciate the people that stuck by me. My credit balance was decimated by gambling but it now sits at the maximum of 999!!!! Two years ago we managed to buy our forever home something I thought gambling had stolen from us! But I WON it back!Â
For anyone starting out on the recovery journey just remember when people like us win a bet it’s only lent to us as we will continue betting until we lose. It really is the road to nowhere - emptying our mind body and soul of this demon is possible and I can assure you the person you become is the best version of yourself. It leads to contentment, self worth and a quality of life which is so vivid it really is like starting again.Â
I pray and give thanks daily as I see myself as one of the lucky ones. Today I will pray for all you starting out - never give up life is for living not just existing which is what we do as problem gamblers.
Take care one and all
Hi Bobby001,
Thankyou for posting and taking the time to share your story.Â
I'm sure that people will relate and take a lot of positives from your encouraging words, keep up your recovery and stay strong.Â
Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.
Kirk
Forum Admin
Hi BobbyÂ
Your words speak so much truth this is my first day of not gambling and I know it’s going to be a long road I just hope that I can do this for my family and myself
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@lunes yes you can do it! If I can anyone can as at one point in my life gambling was all consuming I went to bed thinking of gambling and when I woke I thought of gambling but not anymore. I taught myself that it was a mugs game and the road to nowhere! I always used to say to myself have you ever met a poor bookie? Or have you seen many bookies close down….. the answer to both is no!Â
These thoughts made me see sense and realise I simply could not win. At the beginning it was tough but each day gamble free was celebrated it may have been with a bar of chocolate or if I made it through a week a nice meal slowly but surely normality returned to my life. The all consuming thoughts eased and when an urge popped up I used to say remember it’s a mugs game don’t be a mug anymore!
while the debt I was in depressed me when I gambled when I decided to stop it became a challenge to free myself of this burden too and a few months back I managed this. Having done so I could sleep easy at night no night sweats, tears, lies just a sense of achievement and joy. I felt my self worth returning gambling no longer owned me I took ownership of my life again.
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please stay strong and keep checking in here support is here for you as you travel along this long and winding road to normality again.
Thank you so much for this post. I am a female gambler and know only too well the shame you felt on the days you left the Bookies with empty pockets. I am more determined than ever to get back to myself. The person I was before gambling took over.Â
@ae20 yes you can find yourself again. It is a slow difficult journey but any journey starts with the first step. On this journey the first step was accepting there was a problem, the second step was coming on here and doing something about it!Â
So look you are already two steps forward, in this journey minutes become hours and hours become days, then weeks, months and then the rest of your life!Â
This journey can be hard but it can also be life giving. It allows us to begin to love ourselves again and appreciate the simple things in life. We are not bad people we just made bad choices so we now are going to make the right choices and deal with the consequences of those old poor choices.
So one day at a time - a gamble free day is a good day, do not be hard on yourself, reward yourself for the small successes as these turn into big successes!Â
Life is short so let’s not waste another day never forget a well know bookies name spells out ‘Broke Lads’ - ironic isn’t it! Let’s not allow ourselves to be one of these statistics anymore as we are worth so much more than that!
Take care
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