It's my life, I'm going to get it back

Hello everyone,

I hope you're all ok and had a good Easter weekend. As with most mornings, I woke up this morning and there was only one thing on my mind, why? Why have I done it again, to myself, to my fantastic and loving partner (whom I am the luckiest guy in the world to hold in my arms) and my unknowing family.

I want this to be the last time I stop this, not another uncommitted try. This has to stop.

As mentioned I honestly consider myself an extremely fortunate person, I have a fantastic partner, a loving family and a great friendship group.

The only one of the above who I have spoken to about my problem is my partner. This was a number of years ago, when truth be told it was less of a problem than it is now.

I've now been gambling for 9 years and in that time there's been a few highs, which are in no way comparable to the lows. I want to stop chasing that winning feeling, I know all of us on here have this problem. I know I can't be fixed by the click of a switch.

All of your collective advice would be greatly appreciated, this is the second of the two massive steps I've taken today. The first was to approach a debt advice charity, which is done and the second was the finally admit I have a serious problem to all of you (I've been a member of the forum for a long time and I've wanted to do this for a long time but just couldn't admit it to myself).

As I've stated I want this day to be the beginning of the end of these demons. No more fear that it controls my life, I want to control my life. No more waking up in the morning and wondering if I'd get to the end of the day.

I really look forward to getting to know you all, and any and all advice you can throw my way would be greatly appriciated.

Speak soon, SJ