Well I'm back, I never stopped gambling I just didn't post on here.
I get my student finance on Monday and I owe it all out for gambling debts.
I've racked up a £600 debt on my phone bill. I didn't have any money in my bank so I thought I would use that instead and hopefully win to cover what I was spending. Yeah as you can guess that didn't happen. I'm such a d**k!
I owe £375 to a loan company as well and yeah you guessed it i used that money for gambling as well.
I put K9 on my laptop and then I removed it. Like a f*****g idiot!
I'm training to be an actor and people think I'm fine, they think that I haven't gambled since November. All because of this great performance I've been putting on but I still am.
I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious circle because I'm going to have to borrow more money on Monday. So it looks like I haven't gambled and I can afford to live and go out with friends.
It's a f*****g joke and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of the person I've become.
Hi Dean,
No, no one knows this time. I'm to ashamed to admit it to my family and friends again.
So I'm having to keep up this lie. They'd be so disappointed if they knew. I can't do it to them again.
They've all helped me out so much, even when they couldn't afford to. I feel like a fraud!
I'm going to have to pay the bills, I know that much. Because I don't think there's anything I can do the bills need to be paid in 2 days. One will come out directly from my bank.
I honestly don't know because I take the steps and do the right thing but only for a few weeks and them I'm back gambling and covering my tracks.
I'm 25 nearly 26, I have thought about going to Ga. But that's as far as it's got really.
I am a confident person on one side but when it comes to being truly honest I think I would just break down completely. And I think that is what scares me about Ga.
I think I do need to speak to someone to be honest, as it does need to end. It's making me ill and I know this but I continue to do it.
Thank you for your kind words of advice!
I hope you continue to do well in your recovery 🙂
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