Just cant stop

Excuse spelling , using a tablet which is old and worthless cause if it had value I would sold it amd spent the money

C Anthony,

Welcome to the smartest move you could have made & hopefully the 1st day of the rest of your life! I guess since you gave sought this out you are ready to stop so now the only thing in your way is you. You still have your job, your partner, you just need a bit of help now to get you started! My advice is to choose 'no' one day at a time starting from now, not because you are broke & hopeless but because you are ready to start!

Start reading kiddo...

Thanks I hope so I really want to stop and start saving , concerned that xmas is round corner an I already owe my christmas wage out . Feel as thou I make everyone else suffer to because of my habit

Hi C Anthony

I myself have been a compulsive gambler for over 10 years. Been bet free for 19 days and after last night I can honestly say I will never gamble again. After speaking to a gamcare counsellor online they recommended a book called Allen Carrs easy way to stop gambling. Honestly it's the best £5 you'll ever spend. I know it's only been 19 days but it's unbelievable the difference I feel. You hear it slot as we'll but honesty has to be the best policy. God know show many times I have let my family down dye to gambling but this time it is all out in the open fiancГ© friends family relatives you name it and I'm not ashamed any more.

i am free from gambling at last

Jjsorry its bad

Hope to be at that point but sometimes it just feel like whats the point! Letting people down all time , no one has trust in u, prob will lose friends over money i owe cause of it! Its viciuos and wish I had never even know how to place a bet or start that part of my life doing it!

So I have gone a few days without gambleing , its been hard. I have recently sold my phone and used the funds to gamble, I have been tempted to gamble win money to buy my phone back but have not. Want to try do things the right way but will see how it goes. Life is tough fighting this disease is tougher

Hi All

I though I would start a diary on here, maybe to help me track what I do or to put how am feeling down with regards to my gambling. Not a 100% sure which to be honest but though I need to do something, I have lost who I actually am over the years to this illness. I have been gambling since a young age as many of us have on here, 18 when I started and now I am 34. Over the years I have destroyed numerous relationships with friends, family and partners. It all started for me when I went to a casino with a friend and we played roulette, I won as most do the first time! I was back for more over the months and thought I could solve all my problems and my families at the time by hitting the big win to look after us all. Anyway the story went pretty much like most, I started to lose and lose and lose, each time trying to recoup losses over the years, borrowing off people, losing a months wages in a few hours, taking out loans (from credit cards, bank loans, payday loans to what ever I could get my hands on) to always try and recoup my previous loss And pay people back and have some spare money. Writing this now is making me think how stupid I sound and why could I just not stop and see the sense that each day I gambled I got further and further in the hole. I sold numerous things over the years to gamble, manipulated people for money (it makes me sick thinking about some of the things I have actually done). I have taken off my family borrowed of peter to pay Paul, you name it I have more then likely to it. It’s quite a sickening feeling. Anyway their was a period were I got thing under control for a few years, I felt great through this time and had money in my pockets, I built bridges with people and it was really good.

I did and have slipped back to my old ways< horse, footballs coupons, ect, I have been with my current partner for 4 years, and it was after a few years of being with her I went back to my old ways, the last 2 years have been bad, racked up thousands of debut spend are house deposit money, We both earn good money and we should be comfterble, instead every month we are scrapping about because of me. She found about earlier this year and I come clean but not fully to the extent how deep I was in and how much I had racked up, she helped out as people have done for me over the years and I let her down again recently. I come fully clean at this point and I do appreciate all she has done for me. I hate the way I find it easy to manipulate people for money. Gambling completely changed the nice person I was from a child to me teens and hurting my loved ones makes me thing they would be better off without me, I am no longer that person I was in my early days, I either need to get a grip and get back on track otherwise it will chew me up and spit me out and I don’t see the point if it is to carry on. I should have money in my pocket each month and we should have saving we both earn good money, I would love to see saving or even 100 quid in my account for a change the day after payday instead of it all gone at the bookies…I don’t even live a normal life with friends at the min as I prefer to waist my money gambling instead of catching the lads for a few drinks or taking my partner for a nice meal or my family, it would be much cheaper also. I have rabbited on her. But my aim is to stay clean. My partner has been strong this week and has not allowed me any money therefore I have not gambled, I have exhausted all avenues of lending money at the minute so I have not been able to get any to gamble. I do feel better, although it would be nice to no I could have money in my pocket! I have a counseling session booked this week, I hope I can get my life back on track and keep this illness at bay- surely then I will know whom I Am!

Thanks Emily!

I will post on my diary page! My worry is also maintaining things I fear it will be easy ti slip back in the dirty little worls