Just had a bet and officially had enough

Hi AshelyCarver1992,

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Hi Ashley,

I am guessing you are an online gambler if it is virtual football, same as me .

if you really want to stop, sign up to gamstop straight away,  it excludes you from all betting sites. Get gamban installed, it blocks all betting sites in your devices so you can't open new accounts. Does your bank allow you to block gambling transactions? More are offering that now.

get in touch with one of the advisors at gamcare, they are great  there is also a chat room at 1pm and 8pm each day which has really helped me  I have been 23 without gambling since getting support from gamcare  

Keep asking questions and seeking out whatever support you can. There are many of us here to support you.

Hey, get signed up to gamstop  and also get the bank to block gambling from your account. First and best and EASIEST step you’ll take I promise it will get better if you do these first. If not you will always chase the win as you think If  you can win again it’ll solve all your problems, you literally convince yourself just one spin and it’ll all be sorted but really even if you did win, you’d gamble it all away again and be back at square one. I’ve had a hellish time the past 2 years and had to work 7 days a week at 2 jobs to pay back £7000 of gambling debt and I still kept on going. Now I’m out the other side I would do anything to stop anyone else going the same way that I did. I was a 25 year old girl at the time who was meant to be having the time of my life. I know you can give gambling up, get the blocks in place, put your phone down and enjoy your family x

It's easy to hate gambling when you lose but it won't stop you going back for more. In order to do that, you need to start hating it all of the time, including when you win. This might seem strange, but there is more to hate about gambling than just losing money. When you win money, it gets in your head and it is all you can think about. When you lose, it's there too and you want that money back so what you have to focus on is the way the act of gambling makes you feel, how it unsettles you, consumes you, how it changes you, makes you lie, deceive and be bitter. If you focus only on the money aspect, you will keep yourself locked in to the cycle of winning and losing. If you learn to see the way gambling affects you as a person, and not the outcome of your gambling, then you will find it easier to keep away. Try to remember that win or lose, you will always lose when you gamble because you are being controlled and you are unhappy while you are doing it. If you weren't then you would not be on this forum. Despite the fact that even if you win, you will lose it eventually and it more than likely will not even be a win because of the money already lost in the past. Winning is actually walking away.

Therefore, if you look at it in terms of choosing not to gamble and being happy, then you win. If you continue to gamble and continue to be unhappy, then you lose even though sometimes you may win at gambling. Sure you may win some days, but the overall effect of your gambling is to lose so the longer you play, the more you lose over time. 

It's all about changing your outlook and what you define as being happy. If gambling does not make you happy, then neither will winning. I recall when I used to place bets daily, (I am now almost 2 years GF) and it didn't matter whether I won or whether I lost, gambling was always in my head and I was always edgy, discontent and unsettled while I was gambling. I was actually happier when I lost because then I would feel stronger in being able to do something about it. Winning just meant I wanted to keep playing and I always knew deep down, that no matter how much I won, I would lose it all and that is partly why I was so discontent while I was winning because I always knew that this was just the calm before the storm and that I was being set up for a fall.

We say we gamble for the money, but many of us actually don't. That's why we can't stop even when we are winning. We often gamble for escapism for the high and for the distraction. Winning is just extra credits to play for longer. Gambling is more than likely taking over your life because you are allowing it to fill a void in your life when this could be far better filled by doing something positive that really makes you feel good about yourself. Sure, you may have won a grand once, but you have probably lost far more since, so remind yourself that you have not won anything and don't keep adding to those losses by chasing a ghost. Remind yourself that these wins are not nearly as accidental as you think they are. Many big wins come in the early stages of gambling and are never seen again....they are designed to pull you in and make winning look easy. Have you not noticed how a bigger loss always follows a big win. It's designed to make you think the win will come so you will chase it, then they will throw you a few hundred to soften the blow of losing thousands.

You can learn to hate gambling and gambling will let go of you too, but you have to let go first.

Posted by: Lost and Found

It's easy to hate gambling when you lose but it won't stop you going back for more. In order to do that, you need to start hating it all of the time, including when you win. This might seem strange, but there is more to hate about gambling than just losing money. When you win money, it gets in your head and it is all you can think about. When you lose, it's there too and you want that money back so what you have to focus on is the way the act of gambling makes you feel, how it unsettles you, consumes you, how it changes you, makes you lie, deceive and be bitter. If you focus only on the money aspect, you will keep yourself locked in to the cycle of winning and losing. If you learn to see the way gambling affects you as a person, and not the outcome of your gambling, then you will find it easier to keep away. Try to remember that win or lose, you will always lose when you gamble because you are being controlled and you are unhappy while you are doing it. If you weren't then you would not be on this forum. Despite the fact that even if you win, you will lose it eventually and it more than likely will not even be a win because of the money already lost in the past. Winning is actually walking away.

Therefore, if you look at it in terms of choosing not to gamble and being happy, then you win. If you continue to gamble and continue to be unhappy, then you lose even though sometimes you may win at gambling. Sure you may win some days, but the overall effect of your gambling is to lose so the longer you play, the more you lose over time. 

It's all about changing your outlook and what you define as being happy. If gambling does not make you happy, then neither will winning. I recall when I used to place bets daily, (I am now almost 2 years GF) and it didn't matter whether I won or whether I lost, gambling was always in my head and I was always edgy, discontent and unsettled while I was gambling. I was actually happier when I lost because then I would feel stronger in being able to do something about it. Winning just meant I wanted to keep playing and I always knew deep down, that no matter how much I won, I would lose it all and that is partly why I was so discontent while I was winning because I always knew that this was just the calm before the storm and that I was being set up for a fall.

We say we gamble for the money, but many of us actually don't. That's why we can't stop even when we are winning. We often gamble for escapism for the high and for the distraction. Winning is just extra credits to play for longer. Gambling is more than likely taking over your life because you are allowing it to fill a void in your life when this could be far better filled by doing something positive that really makes you feel good about yourself. Sure, you may have won a grand once, but you have probably lost far more since, so remind yourself that you have not won anything and don't keep adding to those losses by chasing a ghost. Remind yourself that these wins are not nearly as accidental as you think they are. Many big wins come in the early stages of gambling and are never seen again....they are designed to pull you in and make winning look easy. Have you not noticed how a bigger loss always follows a big win. It's designed to make you think the win will come so you will chase it, then they will throw you a few hundred to soften the blow of losing thousands.

You can learn to hate gambling and gambling will let go of you too, but you have to let go first.

Thankyou so much for this!! Really helpful way to see things.

You are welcome, Lisa92. I am just glad to be on the other side of this. It started when I was about 19 years old and I have been gambling for about 20 years. Now that I have 2 years distance between me and my last bet, I can see things with a clear head and am not guided by impulse any more. I still want to gamble because I have spent years training my brain to want it, only now, I have the power back to choose not to. I can use my mind instead of my brain. My mind is rational and conscious whereas my brain is impulsive and irrational. It works while we are asleep after all, and you wouldn't want to copy what it lets you think you can do in your dreams! We don't bet with our minds, Lisa92, we bet with our brains. People say all the time, 'use your brain' when we are being foolish, but it is actually our minds that guide us the best when it comes to addiction.

They are not the same. That battle that you feel when you want to bet is between your brain (that wants the chemical hit) and your mind (that warns you against it). Over time, you will be able to have more control and the more distance you have between you and your last bet, the better control you will have. That's why especially in the early days, it is best to have all those safety nets in place because the impulsiveness is still there. I still leave all mine in place but it doesn't get that far anymore. I can switch it off.

If you want to see how foolish it is to act on what your brain tells you to do, then remember that your brain functions while you are asleep and tells you that you can fly in dreams and jump off cliffs. When your brain tells you to gamble, it is not thinking about you, it purely wants the hit. It acts in the moment, whereas your mind is thinking about you, so let it guide you to make good choices. It's trying to protect you from harm by reminding you that gambling hurts you but your brain says, go on, have a go any way. 

Take good care of yourself Lisa92. 

hi you say you feel sick because you lost ? i think when your at your wits end and really want to quit you will feel sick because u gambled again nit because u lost or won