just to say hi - dealing with partners gambling

Oh gosh. It's hard to hear the other side .... Welcome you are brave and strong for coming here and opening up ....

I personally feel until he is ready to deal with it there is not alot you can do I'm the nicest way possible I've been trying to sort it for a few years but this is the first ntime I've stopped and said no more .... But i had to be ready to do that

Hi Carrie. I'm a compulsive gambler myself, your actually an amazing person for trying too be there and help him. There is a family and friends section you might find helpful? Unfortunately your partner needs help but he might need too find it himself? I'm not saying you cannot make him see the light, but too stop he has too want too , I'm in no doubt that he does love you more than gambling, but the illness/addiction makes us forget what's important, our priorities and thought process is completely altered and we become selfish. We are still in there thou and the support from our friends and family when we're ready is invaluable. Again, you sound amazing for hanging in there and I hope he reaches out for the help he and you need x

Hi Carrie.

Its a good step joining and looking at this forum. You will learn about a powerful addiction and knowledge is strength.

The gambler must be ready to seek help and Im afraid that puts you in a difficult situation. You must look after yourself also and protect your finances and quality of life.

It can be a delicate situation but dont shy away from saying that gambling is not acceptable to you. Ive been a gambler and I wouldnt live with one.

You can ask him to seek help because gambling cant be rationalised in the cold light of day. Im not saying he is a bad person but the stubborn attitude is refusal to deal with reality and the feelings he has. He knows inside that its all wrong and cant be justified....many gamblers try and put a brave face on it and pretend they are in control.

You can only really help if he is ready to do whats needed. If he is not ready it will cause you a great deal of stress. You may end up needing counselling over something thats not your fault. I have to be blunt and say its ultimately your decision whether you hang around to suffer this. Perhaps if he realises he is affecting the important people in his life, he will seek help

Please ring gamcare as many times as you like and visit the friends and family section

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi carrie123

I'm a CG and must say firstly welcome and well done for posting on here. Us compulsive gamblers don't realise the damage we are doing to others whilst we are gambling and the hurt and pain it causes, the one thing I will say is your husband has to WANT to stop gambling and until this happens unfortunately you might be banging your head against a brick wall sorry to sound so harsh, but the first step on the GA recovery program is "to admit we are powerless over gambling" He can kick this addiction but as I've said he has to WANT to stop himself. I would ring the gamcare helpline for yourself and seek some advice and help. Hope you can get sorted and your husband wants to give up gambling !!

All the Best

Darren

hi Carrie,

I'm in exactly the same position, iv just about had enough of my husbands lies & ready to leave after 10+ years of this, we've been together for 25 years. feeling very sad xxxx

Hi Carrie, I am not long on here but similar situation, husband gambling ,huge debts . Won't get help , tried several times over the years leaving questionnaires about .He can always find a reason of why he doesn't need to seek help. I feel a range of emotions from anger to deep down sadness, anxiety and hopelessness​.Call gamcare or use the netline to get support for you .x

Thanks to all who posted comments I appreciate it and know in myself I cannot make someone seek help if they dont want to. I find it sad that so many lives are being wrecked by this terrible addiction. I shall post on friends and family site now as clearly that is more relevant for me.