I sit here at the end of day 1 without a bet. Just watched the game on bbc but cant say it had my full attention mostly because i didnt have anything riding on it.Â
I have decided to call it a day on betting until someday when i can control myself. If that is possible. It usually takes me a couple of weeks to lose an entire wage but this time it took me 2 days. I was so ashamed and i have yet to tell my partner and ask for her forgiveness for maybe the 5th time. The last few times i havent wanted to give up but this time i took it too far and i want to give up finally after maybe 14 years stuck in the cycle of get paid and losing it.
I wanted to die at the weekend as i couldnt bare to tell my partner or go another month with barely any money. Now im feeling optimistic but its easy to give up when i dont have money to bet with. I got £10 off ebay about an hour before the game tonight and my 1st thought was should i? But i stuck to it and i still have my £10.
I slept all day sunday until i had work. Work wasnt easy but i knew i was off on tuesday until sunday but that didnt stop me pulling a sickie monday as i couldnt bare to go in. Now i have a few days to break the news to my partner and see what she wants to do and hopefully by sunday i can focus on work and have my personal life out in the open at home.
I have a doctors appointment on the 11th which im hanging on for. See what they can do for me and my mental health. And the real test will be on the 27th when i next get paid.Â
Hello @andytheveggie,
Welcome to the GamCare forum. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I hope that you find this a supportive and welcoming place throughout your recovery.
It’s great that you’ve reached out here, and that you’ve made an appointment with your doctor to see how they can help. I want to let you know that there’s lots of other support available too. I encourage you to speak to one of our advisers, 24 hours a day, either one the Helpline (0808 8020 133) or Netline (webchat www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now). They will listen non-judgmentally to your situation and let you know about strategies and tools you can use to help you continue not to gamble. They are also able to make a referral for you for 1-to-1 treatment so you have regular, ongoing, recovery-focused support around your gambling.
You mentioned in your post the feeling of wanting to die. I’m so sorry that this is how you were feeling at the weekend and I’m glad to read that you are feeling optimistic now. This is something that you don’t have to go through alone. There are many organisations who offer support for those experiencing these kinds of thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to wait to be in crisis to contact them, and their websites also have lots of useful information:
www.thecalmzone.net
www.samaritans.org
www.sane.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk
I know you’re concerned about speaking to your partner. This is something that our advisers will be happy to discuss with you when you get in touch. You can also let her know that we’re here for her too and she is free to contact us any time for support.
You’ve taken some great steps to start your recovery. You are never alone in this and you can get through it.
Kind regards,
Elizabeth
Forum Admin
Mate I'm in the very similar situation myself. I've been gambling since 2003 ever since I seen someone winning over XXX on roulette machine in bookies when they all had a XXX jackpot limit.
I've relapsed few dozen times and I'm finally stopped and got my debts in line with payplan. My wife doesn't know yet all this s... but I want to tell her.Â
Don't think about bad staff think about your family and think of that you will never forget yourself if you lose them. I'm sure you love them as I do and that is the strongest reson to live for. Be strong and don't give up its soooo worth it to be clean of this sick addiction of gambling. Â
Al
Cheers im getting the help I need thanks to gamcare. All booked in with therapy now in a few weeks just before my next payday so very good timing.Â
Broke it to my partner and things aren't great between us but hopefully in time I can gain back her trust as I show her I can beat this.
Thanks for your words Al means a lot.
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