Abit about me. My names Neil last August i was made redundent, between that and needing follow up surgeory on my wrist, i found it hard looking for work, or the motivation. I then started to look into matchbetting to earn some money while i was going though a hard time and having to much time on my hands.
Ive always known about matchbetting and for the first few months it was fine, i made a little amount of money, but then i started taking risks, and looking for ways to make more and found out about scalping etc, at first i was doing ok, won some lost some and took that as part of the learning curve. Then around mid december is where it became a real problem, i suffered loses, chased them, won some back, before i knew it i blew all my money in the bank which was mainly 10,000 i balence transfered of a credit card to tide me over not expecting to be out of work. I told my best friend half truths and he helped me out and lent me 5,000. I ended up using that and money from my credit cards, things where ok for a while i was then too confident and i had a big loss again, followed by another etc, needless to say this pattern got worse and spiraled out of control to the point where i maxed all my credit cards out and was even applying for loans and found my self lying on the application forms, within a month i had lost all that too, which has got me around 80k in debt. Finaly relising i had exacused all my money options, it hit me i had no where to turn now. I then called a few companys up stepchange one of them, and they have helped me setup a token payment plan with all my creditors, its not all in place yet, but im scared of what will happen regarding the loans when it comes to light i lied as i know its only a matter of time, thats addin to the stress and pressure.
After a couple of days i got extremely depressed when i fell out with my girlfriend, due to my mood swings and dression, i then thought about killing my self, which i have had thoughts with in the past, i cut my self and even considered hanging my self when i got my ties and put them around my neck tight.
That week was the worse for me and my best friend as he saw me in the state and for the first time i saw him cry. Since then i sold something which got me 2,000 and i found my self doing it all over again, the last 10 days i was making a small amount taking it slow, then yesturday i got greedy and as a result lost, then today i lost the last of it, which is when i really realised i have a gambling problem, i know the temptation if i had more money i would be to tempted to think i can make it worse which is when i called camcare and as well as other advise told me to try this forum.
Ive tried to put as much detail in as possible about my story. Im scared of loosing everything, being homeless or even going to jail for my mistakes. and feel im in such a bad place i dont know if i can ever get out of it.
Hi Neil, welcome to the Forum, and well done for sharing your story here - a very heartfelt post my friend,
You have done the right thing, you have accepted that you have something in your life that you can't control, you have been very honest with yourself with is a positive thing.
I have stopped gambling for 8/9 years now - there are still debts that I am paying off, which may sound incredibly depressing, but I am absolutely fine with it, in fact, I am grateful for the fact that I did stop before I started stealing and becoming homeless, although there were times when I was sleeping rough as a result of what I did.
£80,000 is a lot of money, but think of how much it would be in ten years if you carried on; twice that? Ten times that? Think of all the things you want to do in life, think of how much gambling would impact on that - there will be times when you have mouths to feed, there will be times when you have a wife who depends on every portion of your salary to keep the household going each week; if you turn £80,000 into £160,000, then your fears of losing everything and going to jail may very well become reality my friend - you are not a bad person, you have an affliction, and this affliction turns you into a bad person; but after a while, people will only know the "bad" you - at this point, you have a wonderful opportunity to turn things around and create a bright future for yourself, but only if you make that £80,000 a catalyst for never gambling again; you are in pain because you lost £80,000, but it would be an absolute bargain if it was the one thing that never made you gamble again. In fact, it would be a bargain, and 20 years down the line, you could look back and smile at that £80,000 because that was the time when you turned your whole life around and admitted that there was some things in your life that you can't control.
It is enormously difficult, things are going to haunt you for a while, but the one thing I can promise you is that it gets easier in time, and your urges will lessen considerably if you have a zero tolerance approach to gambling in all forms. There is no other way my friend, accept it, live with it, and plan for a better time when things are easier for you.
Be strong, be positive; you have done the right thing by coming here - this could be the first step towards a better, safer, more constructive life my friend.
JamesP
I lost it all too friend.
And have spent years sulking about it
A month ago a friend of mine died of cancer he was 35 years old with a family
He would have spent any amount for just a little more time with his family
I will never be easy but try to put things in perspective.
Theres always hope.
Hi neil im in excatly the same boat as you, lost around 80k in a very short space of time online roulette and blackjack, lost about 50k in about 1hr. Crazy. And now im paying it back over many years i ave good days and bad days only time can heal the pain as long as i dont do it again. Got a lovely wife and two kids and im just about holding onto my marriage , had to remorgagte and got alot of debt on cards to. Online gambling is the killer u dont see the money until your that deep init the realisation of wat uve done then its to late. But we must keep going and put it to the back of our minds to keep us sane then hopefully one day look back and the pain wont be so bad . only time can heal us as long as we dont gamble again. We must just try to enjoy the day ,be it the sunshine or the stars at night , we must live for the moment and hopefully the past will be the past and the future can be ours.
Hi guys, keep strong mates. I found JamesP's post very meaningful and full of hope. I am 30 days gf and have lost incredible amounts just as you guys. 30 says back I put in the toughest controls - self exclusion. Since then life has been very tough. Regret, remorse, guilt, anger, bitterness, shame have haunted me but I have stayed gf hoping that this phase will pass and things will eventually improve. I therefore find JamesP's advice very relevant here and makes me believe that there is light at the end of this horrible tunnel as long as I stay gf. Thanks JamesP.
Hi Shattered, your username like mine says it all, its a s..t illness, all your emotions I can relate to at the moment, just wanted to say two things James P said the same things to me 4 years ago, do I wish I had listened but I didn't, and as you know, you are not alone with this problem, we all have to hang in there, let's hope there is some government legislation in the near future to sort this gambling accessibility out, or our future generations will be sucked in just like us.
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