Lost all my money. Feeling suicidal

Unfortunately we can't change the pass, only our future. Gambling and winning is such a high that is so easily addictive, but to say it's too late to quit is nonsense. I honestly believe if I continue not to gamble and it's only been a fortnight! I can have my life back... Family, social and having the finances to have the nicer things in life. Yes my bank balance is starting from zero and its gutting. But to continue would only mean more heartbreak and I would continue to let my family and friends down. I hope the guy u mentioned saying it's too late gets the inspiration and help he needs to stop, because it's never too late...

All the best..

Relating to what Kms says it's true I chase loses because I don't ever remember being in front so whenever I win there is no high because it never replaces the losses and now I have done the lot there is no way back excuse the pun I have more chance of winning the lottery . I am a miserable wreck now struggling through life can't admit this latest stint to anyone because I feel so much shame I have let my daughter down so badly I just feel that I am a complete s***

Its been 3 months since this post and my big loss and I still have no urge whatsoever to gamble. Seeing adverts for ***** etc makes my skin crawl !!! I'm still trying to tell myself that this was a lesson in life. However nearly every day I think about the loss and what I could of done with the money and it depresses me how stupid I was. I know for a fact I'm not addicted to gambling and I will never bet again, but I want to know has anyone else done the same as me? Not been addicted to gambling but blew all their money in a couple of hours chasing and chasing the losses. It was like I wasnt in control, I just wanted my money back as soon as possible.

I suppose things are getting better slowly, each pay day is a small step to getting my money back but I still cant stop thinking back to that day

StevenJ wrote:

Its been 3 months since this post and my big loss and I still have no urge whatsoever to gamble. Seeing adverts for ***** etc makes my skin crawl !!! I'm still trying to tell myself that this was a lesson in life. However nearly every day I think about the loss and what I could of done with the money and it depresses me how stupid I was. I know for a fact I'm not addicted to gambling and I will never bet again, but I want to know has anyone else done the same as me? Not been addicted to gambling but blew all their money in a couple of hours chasing and chasing the losses. It was like I wasnt in control, I just wanted my money back as soon as possible.

I suppose things are getting better slowly, each pay day is a small step to getting my money back but I still cant stop thinking back to that day

Hello and well done on the 3 months. I will say this. DO NOT ever think you are over this. I have had slip ups after 5, 7 months free, thinking I was over it and let down my guard. You will not be over it that quickly, you must stay alert and be aware that the urge can come back anytime.

I wont let my guard down, the thing is, I have never had an urge to bet ever, apart from that day when i had an urge to get my losses back and ended up losing everything. I'm still hurting and angry about the loss maybe when this feeling gets better i will be more vulnerable to bet again, but I am very confident I will never ever bet again.

Hi Steven, I read your first post back in Aug and can see myself in that. I lost 7k of savings and in my depressed state of mind tried to win it back. I am now 20k in debt. Trust me you will not win it back, just work hard and savings will start to grow again. Find something to aim for either in job or personal satisfaction. Best of luck and we'll done on 3+ months.

Hi Steven, well done on 3 months gamble free. Urgh is right you can never be complacent. I was gamble free for 15/20 years (arcade and bingo hall slots) then last year I made the terrible mistake of trying online slots thinking I could now control my gambling. Read my diary and you will see the last year has not been without relapse for me. I'm now in a much better place and am 50 days gamble free tomorrow and like you have no intention of gambling again. Keep strong, resist those urges that at times will creep upon you and you will continue on your recovery. Small steps one day at a time.

mo

StevenJ wrote:

I wont let my guard down, the thing is, I have never had an urge to bet ever, apart from that day when i had an urge to get my losses back and ended up losing everything. I'm still hurting and angry about the loss maybe when this feeling gets better i will be more vulnerable to bet again, but I am very confident I will never ever bet again.

I really hope so. That's the problem, most people stop after a small amount, but to try and make light of what happened as a "one off" (you lost your lifesavings) sounds like you are in some kind of denial. If you lost 20k once it can happen again. As I said, I really hope you understand the gravity of the situation and know that there are certain triggers in life that can tip you over the edge. That's usually how people fall back into gambling. A life crisis of some sort.

Some interesting stories here.
Its very different how you only chased your losses for 1 day but you did one thing us gamblers never do. Thats didn't bet everything. You still had 2k. That to me was your first big step without knowing.

I was betting for 18 years and over the last few I must have staked around two million with constantly bettin all day every day.
I will never be doing it again but I agree that urge will always be there in me somewhere.
I really think you are different in a good way and won't bet again. Just don't ever think a few quid won't hurt as you d**n well know it probably will!.
Mba

Hello mba, It wasnt even a day of chasing my losses it was about 2 hours, if that and I don't know why i never betted my last 2k, it was like i knew enough was enough and I didnt want to be struggling for everyday spends. I still havnt gambled and ive been in the betting shop about 5 times with friends recently and have no urge whatsover (although my losses were online) Its still hard looking back to that horrible day but slowly getting a bit better

My partner was a gambler. He commited Suicide this year in May. He has destroyed my life completely broken my heart and my childrens. Please please get as much help as you can and fight this. I would not wish what he has put me through on anybody. He was fighting thi battle for 20 years and only admitted it in February after a failed suicide attempt. Unfortunately it took over. In May he lost £900 in 18 minutes in a casino and hung himself. He didnt come home. I had to identify his body in a police station the next day. We were getting married, I was supportng him even though he was stealing from me and lying constantly. This is the worst addiction as there are no obvious physical systems. Its a killer. Please dont put your family through what im going through. Get help and help yourselves to fight this xx

OP I feel sorry for someone like you......my deepest sympathies. You've worked so hard and cause of a lapse for such a small period you've suffered. This is how cruel gambling is. It doesnt pick and choose victims. I just wish that the lesson had come at a smaller price for you. However its a lot of money from hardwork (ive never seen that much personally in my life).....it is for sure worth it if it prevents you from ever gambling again. Good luck my friend.

Good news Steven you seem to have it under control just don't get complacent and think the odd bet will be ok because it probably won't.

Wendy, so sorry to hear about your story. It's the easy way out and leaves people like you worse off. Hope you can be Happy again.

Mba

Hello Wendy Woo,

I feel very sorry that you have suffered such a painful bereavement. You are welcome to call us for emotional support on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or on our Netline.

Other possible sources of support for you could include Cruse Bereavement Care 0844 477 9400

http://www.cruse.org.uk/home

and Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide 0300 111 5065

http://uk-sobs.org.uk/

Take care,

Adam.

Hi Stephen, I have had a gambling problem for approximately four years and it is been very bad I have been without food in the house in overdraft and have spent the money to pay bills and had to even steal from family to get it back because I couldn't tell my partner I had spent the truck payment gambling he still does not know of the times that I've done that though he knows I have a gambling problem. My big thing is like yours was that day I chase my losses. It's not even that I think I am trying to win big. I am what they call it a escape gambler I go to escape my problems I don't think about them and my loneliness since my partner move to another state to work, gambling numbs those feelings for me.

I always plan to just spend a small or medium set amount, but I get the desperation I end up going over the amount and then I think I'll just try $20 more and win some of it back or $10 more but as you put each bill in or each next bet trying to win it back , the desperation it adds up and you just keep losing. As luck would have it you'll definitely lose ! I think only a couple times is ever happened more I've actually won back part of it. I agree with everyone quit now.

And I've never in my whole life (and I am 40 years old )had 22,000 in savings so I can't imagine the pain of losing it all in a few hours however I know baby it sounds clichГ© but you are very young , have most of your working life left and you can build it back it will take a lot of time you kind of have to forget about the money lost as people say other than to remember as a motivator not to do it again. If you keep gambling you will lose and lose the most you may win a little in between but then the win is addictive and you cannot stop it's not a way to get a back so I'm glad to hear that you are not having urges.