Lost all my money. Feeling suicidal

Hi StevenJ,

Myself as well joined this forum last night. I read your story and I completely understand your situation. Saving money and after that you can see your dreams ruined in hours, days or weeks it the most horrible thing. At the end it doesn't matter how much you gambled, the most important fact now is that you took one step ahead by admitting your addiction and that you ae ready to get back to your normal life . A life without gambling.

Good luck to you!

Best of luck Steven.

I can relate to everything you've done and going through.

After years of gambling which even cost me my job, I was gambling free for a couple of years. I tried to focus my energy on other things like the gym and sport. But only a couple of months ago I slipped while working nightshift, and started playing online roulette. After 3 months of this I have debts over £24k. Yesterday was my first gamble free day in months.

Money is only money and we always seem to get by. It's the phycological part that messes most with my head.

Good luck mate and take it a day at a time. You WILL earn that money back by working hard and never gambling again.

Best of luck

Hi steven well.done i really feel for you. When you save this amount of money and have plans you are proud of your acomplishment. I only know to well. Losing on a credit card is different than losing your hard earned money although both have the same out come. I had saved 17k. This week i lost 5k. It has absolutely killed me that i have lost 5k in 1 day. I had plans for the money i lost and just trying to win big and chasing loses. I too have that sick feeling in my stomach and struggle to smile. Online gambling should be illegal. You wouldnt have gone in to a bet shop with 20k in cash and handed it over. Online i totally lose the reality of the situation and value of money then. When its gone you realise what you have done!!! I really hope you stay strong and earn the money back. Good luck mate take care give us a update when you can.

Hello cheers for the replies, it's nearly 5 months since that big loss, I have no urges to bet whatsoever and to be honest I never had any urges before I lost the money, it was just a moment of absolute madness which as mentioned above would never have happened in a betting shop, the online betting makes it seem like it's not real money. It's getting easier as the weeks and months go on and i'm slowly saving money up again. Talking about what happened to my family and a couple of my closest friends definitely helped me for the first few weeks after it, as I think bottling it all up makes it worse.

Well done Stephen, great to hear. Here's to a happy 2015.

Firstly Wendy so sad to hear your story - take care (all gamblers tend to lie and break promises and they really don't mean too and they really do love the people they end up hurting, they are ill and have a illness that makes this evil take over) it is a fact and not an excuse but we are seeking help and doing what we can to fight it and avoid its ruining effects to all involved.

StevenJ

Hi there.

Feel awful to hear of your loss after such a risk on the mentioned bets - i did a similar thing myself and sods law it went against me although the odds were silly and i had to stake a huge amount to even get a small win 2/13 fraction

On the positive (you had £22k saved) i was -£33k at the time and the money i lost was a loan on top of that debt that was supposed to be for debt consolidation at the time.

So i would say to you - yes you lost the plus £20 k you had in credit (which is no small thing btw) yet most of us here have minus that amount - me personally (minus £28.5k to date) having staked well over £150k since my gambling days started easily if not more.

It goes to show no matter what money we have we still crave more as why even try and chase the few pounds in comparison anyway if you had £22k sitting there?? Yet we do have it in us to not want to be beaten and where that is a good survival technique in life normally----in this betting world it has devestating effects.

If i was you i would build your savings to a goal of £44 k no matter how long it takes you and then vow to spend that money on a house or property that will grow and secure you for life.

Turn the negative into a positive and even if you don't ever reach £44k then spend some money on your success on non gambling related activities........as no bet is a sure thing.......odds are made in the favour of the house..i.e the establishments

Best Regards

Wayne (day 8 gamble free)

Wise words wayne, thanks for the post. If you dont mind me asking what was the 2/13 you bet on and how much did you bet?

do you think there is a difference between gamblers who are in the bookies or online all week putting ten pound after ten pound on horses and accumalators and someone who risks say 10k on a so called dead cert to win 1k? once every so often?

it was a part way bet - meaning the odds were that way because of the time left made it close to impossible to change round,

I'd lost nearly £6.5k the night before in my worst spend on roulette ever on a high state table which at the time was a gala casino but now a grovsnor or something like that.

So i had got a loan out to cover the £6.5 k loss plus previous pay day loans and to cut it short £11k loan with 7 year term and £17k total repayable.

not all of this went on the bet - but it all went on gambling and not getting me out of the hole.

point 2 Yeah there is a difference....... most gamblers progressively risk and spend more as they go along over time......you jumped really fast and had it happen quick........in a way you are less damaged mentally as you haven't had so many ups and downs from gambling......yet your picture is painted in stark shock due to the speed of loss and instance..........

the results are yet the same --- all gamblers lose ---as they chase and that bet you did was a chase.....a big balls chase.....but still a chase......and it did not pay off ......as chases rarely ever do........as odds are always against us.....even 2/13 fractions.

odds are calculated with the bookie owner or casino in mind.......and eventually everyone loses.............unfortunately

they have a margin of profit.......that is accelerated by us gamblers whom bet and play hard or foolishly....

Money is relative to your life/job salary/savings/outgoings etc....

What i mean is a man may only bet £200 a year in £3.85p a week stages (yet he could be a worse gambler than a woman who bets £55,000 a year in £1050 ish a week stages)

As man 1 has debts of £25,000 and earns only £11,000 a year and that £3.85 a week means he misses a days meal

Yet the woman has a job that pays £450,000 a year and owns 4 million in off shore property and the £55k a year she wastes will never affect her as it is only part of the interest she earns from rent payments from sub lettings.........

if you see my point.......... lol

Yes I see your point, boredom also definitely played a part in my gambling. What you said above is correct, it was a big balls chase, but It was more a case of panicking to get it back ASAP. I could of waited a day or week to chase my losses but it was just in my head 'i need to get my money back' and I seen betting big on slim odds as a easy way. It backfired.... I could'nt believe it. It's a horrible feeling but time helps!

I think boredom often gets people on the gambling merry-go-round but what keeps people on there is chasing losses.

I would starting by losing £20 and end up throwing £1000 away chasing it! It was ridiculous really. I would have forgotten about the £20 a few days later but something kicks into my head that I have to get it back there and then. No self control at all.

we humans like to win.....but more so, we don't like to lose if we have a chance to get it back we take that chance and in gambling that ruins us unfortunately.

I now finally understand i need to let every penny i have lost go............. that is hard but feels good too if you truly let it go.........

at the same time........make it so they.....don't get a penny more................

my interest charges from the damage of gambling is bad enough constant loss without giving any more to the addiction

something kicks into my head that I have to get it back there and then. No self control at all.

Thats what it was with me I think. If I just had few hours time to think about it, I would never have chased it. But as you say I had to try and get it back there and then, I seen it today in the betting shop (with friends and it's quite therapeutic actually being there even though my gambling was all done online) a man lost ten pounds walked away from the machine and ended up walkin back 15 seconds later, with what looked like his last 20 quid and proceeded to lose that!

Stupid question maybe but what on earth are you doing in a betting shop. Hang about in a barber shop my friend you are eventually going to get a get a haircut.