So here's my story, recently off the back off a 5 year gamban. Immediately the excitement returned. Having access to online slots again after so long. I used to go into the bookies to play slots so wasn't gamble free by any stretch of the imagination, massive amounts of debt. Gambled my wages in a matter of hours. Took out two loans back to back. Had the biggest win of my life. Enough to pay all my debts, the dream had hit. Enough to get me back to zero and have no worries. I sat for 2 days and gambled it all away. Not even a thought crossed my mind while I was doing it. The amount of times I've deposited hoping for a big win to get me out my struggles. Hope that it can all change, it did for me. And I put myself right back into it. This is the first time posting here. This is the longest in the past few days I haven't gambled just reading what everyone is saying. This is the first step to become gamble free. It used to be deposit for that big win to get my out my troubles. But now I understand it's down to me. I have put blocks back into place. I'm overwhelmed with shame and guilt at the moment. The fact of so many years gambling the financial ruin it has caused. The fact I've been telling myself that one big win and everything will be OK. And the ugly truth is. I am that guy who hit the big win enough to turn his life around, and chose not to. So I've laid out my story for the first time. I'm addicted to gambling. It feels liberating to just say it. I will be active on these forums and am going to look into some forms of counselling. Thank you for taking the time to read. Please share your stories as it gives me breathing space and room for thought.
Hi there and welcome and well done for making the decision to better your life and leave gambling behind 👏👏👏.
Last November, I too had just completed my 5 year Gamcare and like you, started to feel excited/free to be able to sign up to online betting sites.
Roll on 4 months to March of this year and I had already gotten myself into a few thousand pounds more worth of debt! Thankfully, I came to my senses and re-registered with Gamcare and put gambling blocks on my debit cards.
Roll on almost 9 months and everything in my life is again more calm, balanced and happier, knowing that all my hard earned salary is not being spent on gambling.
Put as many blocks in place as you can. These can really help to stop you in your tracks if/when those urges spring upon you as they often do.
I wish you hope and strength moving forward.
Take care.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
I'm literally in the same position. My Gamban finished and I went through the process of getting access again to sites thinking it would be harmless to do a few spins. Here I am sitting in tears as I've lost everything in my bank. Borrowed of family and told lies to fund the online slots because there is this little voice inside telling me to ignore my life and gamble. I don't know what makes me gamble or why I need to. There's no win will be big enough for me to say that's the win that sorts it all out. I wouldn't be feeling like this if I had just used my money to pay my bills rather than try for a once in a lifetime win which I know will never happen.
There's another version of me and I just can't seem to make her dissappear and bring back my old self. I've let everyone down again and myself mainly because I really want to get to a point where I'm not thinking about it 24 removed link
Tonight I have closed all the accounts, reregistered with Gamban and blocked on phone. I am trying to get to a meeting in the morning but worried it's too late for me.
I know your situation so well.. I gamble over 16 years now, last November I quit gambling slots for nearly a year and started again one day when stresslevel was very high in Oktober two months ago.
I also registered at the gamban App.
I also have the idea of two parts of myself, one who trys to take care of life and one who destrois again and again.
it feels like someone turns a light on and of, when the other part of my Self comes up and starts gambling. I have selfexcluded me by over 300 Casinos, nearly all positive rated casinos on the gambling lists I have blocked myself.
how do you feel when you start gambling, is it also one impulse come in and you cant stop what happens next?
its so sad to read these words Im writing down here. I really hope I can get out of this bad circle Im in again. A whole life struggling with addiction is so hard.
Thanks for reading, Sarah
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