Hello I am a 31 year old gambling addict. I have gambled on and off for about 17 years but more so recently. I had a bad day on saturday lost 2.5 grand in about 15 minutes online. I maxed out my overdraft to minus 2000 and I have spent all my money. I an emotional person and I suffer from depression and the gambling was a way to try and boost my self-esteem, i also live on my own without any close friends or family so the gambling was also a way to cope with the lonliness and rejection. Ive tried to quit on a couple of occasions but have been sucked back in. I really want to stop this time and be able to tackle my issues which have meant me ending up here. The last few days have been really hard. I have never really had a relationship as sad as that is aged 31 and suppose I always take the easy way out by being reclusive and avoiding social events. The other problem I have is binge drinking, the reason for this is i feel so insecure around people I have to get drunk as quickly as possible to drown out the insecure thoughts. Its come to a point now where the life i live is so bad its on a par with being dead, ATM i feel like im the living dead, just walking around doing what i have todo to survive and just exsisting, i feel if something doesnt turn around for me in the next 3or4 years then i will just kill myself.
HI Richy, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here,
I was touched by what you have written here my friend, and I feel for your situation enormously.
At the moment, you are stuck in a rut; I mean this enormously respectfully my friend but some of that is your own doing, and some of it isn't. I have done the same at times, as have many others - you are not alone.
I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago. I had to force myself to change - it is far from easy but the rewards are enormous; I lost two homes, two partners and lost in the region of £350,000 but I am the happinest I have ever been in my life at this point.
You have to draw a line under what has happened my friend. At 31, you still have a lot of life to live and there are a great deal of open doors for you to walk through - at 41, there will be less, and the driving force behind you making some changes should be that, because these years will drift away and the regret will build.
I have been a part of this Forum for over six years, and the one overriding thing that most people seem to have in common (including myself) is that they are emotionally vulnerable. This is why others can walk away, win or lose - with us, we experience an enormous sense of euphoria when we win, and soul-wrenching heartache when we lose; this is where the compulsion comes from - we either want to repeat that feeling, or are incredibly desperate to regain what we have lost - it is so very personal, which is why gambling is a type of mental poison to you.
The world weighs very heavy on your shoulders my friend and my heart goes out to you. My advice is to not look at everything as a whole - you can't change everything overnight but you can certainly work towards it; you are young, there are clubs, societies, activities you can be part of - don't be intimidated by doing something or going somewhere on your own; there are many, many people in your situation who will be doing exactly the same thing.
Things will turn around for you my friend if you work at putting the things right that you can do something about, and your life cannot fail to be better without gambling in it.
All of this is going to take resolve, determination and genuine effort my friend - the answers are not going to come at the bottom of a bottle or by burying your head in the sand. Push yourself to try new things and meet more people - if it doesn't work out, that is fine, it will do on another occasion - don't be disheartened; you seem like a genuinely good person who has just lost their way at the moment, as we all do at some point or another. You can, and will get there if you put everything you have into it my friend, trust me on that.
JamesP
Hello richy244,
Welcome to the GamCare forum, and well done for talking about your gambling problem.
You've indicated that managing your mood is an important element in overcoming your gambling problem. Do talk with your GP and other professionals who may be helping you to manage your depression, about how your mood has been affected. With effective help to improve your mental well-being, you will be in a stronger position to make more progress with your recovery from problem gambling. You might be interested in these sites as well:
http://www.depressionalliance.org/
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
You've said that you also have an issue with binge drinking. Drunkeness can make it harder to abstain from gambling, and you've identified it as a problem for yourself. Your GP can help you to access services to help you manage your drinking. Here are webpages about alcohol services in England and Wales:
http://www.alcoholconcern.org…bout-alcohol/alcohol-services
and Scotland:
http://www.drinksmarter.org/useful-contacts
For some people, using the GamCare forum can help to reduce feelings of isolation. You'll notice that there is a section called 'Recovery diaries' where people share ongoing peer support. You'll see that people share information about the strategies that they use to support their abstinence, like self-excluding from gambling sites or using blocking filters. You'll also read encouraging posts from people who have made good progress, like JamesP's reply to your post, so the forum can help to foster feelings of hope.
GamCare provides free 1-2-1 counselling appointments to help people overcome their problem with gambling. The GamCare advisers can let you know about the GamCare counselling services around Britain. You're welcome to call the advisers on 0808 8020 133, or on our Netline, if you'd like to find out more about support for you.
Take care,
Adam.
Hello again and thankyou for your comments. Im 4 days into a clean life without gambling so far. I confessed all to parents on monday, they responded well and are going to help me in this struggle. I have self excluded on accounts ive got online. I was thinking today how gambling can be as destructive to being hooked on hard drugs, its everywhere and it causes such a mess. Im trying to keep a diary from now on. I am able to take a step back and see myself as this vulnerable, depressed person seeking a quick fix. I have been addicted / seeking just that rush warm feeling that a rare win does to you (just like what i imagine what heroin does to its users and hence the comparison) its no surprise ive fallen into this but im determined to get out of this, i can see some light at the end of the tunnel now unlike saturday where everything was pitch black.
Hi Richy
See. Over just a few days your negative post has changed to a positive post. Don't be surprised when you get up and down moods. I'm 2weeks free now. The first 2 days I was almost euphoric. Then the realisation of the debt kicked in. Now it's up and down daily but I try to manage the downs with exercise etc and enjoy the ups. I too am very insecure in social situations and always have a few looseners before going out ( which I do rarely). I'm not supporting your drinking but you only need to have a couple to loosen the tongue. I find that any more than that I just talk S***e and people think I'm a d**k.
You are wrong when you say you haven't had a relationship. You are in a deep relationship with gambling. While this is going on ( or any other addiction) you cannot love. Not properly anyway. You, like all of us must dump your lover. She will drain your money and all the important things in your life
Dump her!
Have you ever watched 'trainspotting'. Choose Life!!
Ive seen trainspotting many times, a great film. What we are all doing with gambling is just the same, one last hit, one last big high then i ll quit!! how many of us will have had that thought. well yes enough is enough and im attempting to choose life, im finding it very up and down at the moment, but im a very up and down person all the time anyway. I do struggle in my life having proper people to talk too, i imagine alot of single men do. I find when i can get things off my chest it acts as a bit of a pressure relief valve in my head and im less stressed, less on edge, its something i need to work on. Im looking into new ways too meet people, to get out and about more, i will keep a record of how I get on in the next few weeks
15 days so far without a gamble, come clean to my parents about it and im opening up to people a bit more, however the depression is hurting me, im overthinking alot and making myself sad. still on a hard road.
Hiya richy!
I'm 32 so roughly your age and my problem is also online gambling. I haven't gambled for 4 weeks now and am feeling far more positive. I,like you,have told family and am amazed at how supportive they've been.
I was gambling to hide from things. I'm lucky really, I have a lovely fiance and good friends but I was in a stressful high pressured job and have had a few bereavement this year and just felt that I couldn't cope...gambling was my way of switching off.
It does get better. Believe me. Don't get me wrong,I'm having day's where I don't want to move from my bed and face life...I lost my job as a result of my addiction. But I am trying to look to a brighter future and not dwell on the past.
I hope things get better for you x
day 16: thankyou, it sounds like you have some wonderfull people around you, a positive post. I am still feeling lots of anxiety and depressive thoughts, i find myself being caught in the rumination trap alot, ive had some bad things happen to me in the past but im not escaping via gambling. i just wish i could properly relax at times, i do take medication and i see a counsellor on a tuesday morning,, another outlet to distract me would help
Day 196 without a bet 🙂
Well done mate. I am on about 42 weeks now and life is so much better. Keep up the good work 🙂
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
