folks
Hi all, so here i am. 39 year old father of 2 great kids, happily married, good job, nice house/car etc. I’m also a compulsive gambler. Iv been a gambler since I was about 13 years old, wasting my pocket money in the fruit machine at the chip shop, then the odd bet at the bookies. All in all nothing to serious until i moved away from home when i was 22. Then i became hooked on online casinos, blackjack was/is my game of choice. over the course of 5 years i managed to rack up about £60k of debt. gambling was my life. got to a point where i couldn’t carry on as i’d run out of credit so came clean to my gf. after that my parents got involved and bailed me out big time (thank god). i attended a few GA meetings but it wasn’t for me. after a few years i relapsed and racked up more debt. my gf had stuck by me and we were saving for our wedding. disgracefully i gambled and lost some of our savings but god knows why she stuck by me. we married, moved house, started a family and things were great. i hadn’t gambled for years then something just popped in my head one day for no reason about 5 years ago and it’s been a struggle ever since. i can’t tell my wife as i don’t think she’d give me another chance. my parents would be disgusted and so hurt if i told them. my sister knows iv had a few money worries and i’m lucky that she’s been able to bail me out. I got myself back on the straight and narrow about 3 months ago with a cheap loan to cover my debts and the future was looking rosy. then as tends to happen i started gambling again. i self excluded myself from all the major sites but always manage to find a new site. iv lost just short of £4k in the past few weeks and seriously risk undoing all my good work to get myself back on an even keel. gambling is a horrible disease, i hate it. i look forward to the national self exclusion scheme in spring when i can no longer access any betting site in the uk. i hate myself for gambling but i can’t control it. i take comfort reading the inspirational posts on this site. as it stands i haven’t gambled for about an hour but 27/12/17 will be the last day i gambled. best wishes everyone. stay strong.
Hi Andy,
Just wanted to say hello and you’re not alone. I’m in a similar position but have told my family and partner. I know you’ve done it before and are scared about hurting them again, but it’s going to be so much easier if you don’t have to do it alone. £4k sounds like a lot (I blew ten times that in one hour last week) and it is, but if you have a good job you’ll make it back through work. I feel perversely lucky that I can’t chase given the size of loss and lack of money, but you aren’t going to get it back, and if you did, you’d think you were on a streak, gamble it again and lose. I think it’s Duncan who says ‘we can’t win because we can’t stop’ so beat the bookies by not gambling again. Stay strong too, you’re not alone, but i’d seriously think about telling someone. ODAAT has also given me some good advice ... it’s the underlying issue that forces you to gamble that needs addressing too. Cheers. Rich
Hi Andy I'm wife of a cg who did exactly what you did. Asked for bailouts, gambled wedding savings. Lied, secretly gambled for many years even with a £1. In the end you gamble for so long you don't even care what it is. Going from online, then self exclude, then sneak in the bookies. There are many online software blockers, you can even call your internet provider. If you really want to stop forever you will do anything. Confess, GA, and stop asking for bailouts. Bailouts set you free. Free to gamble. I was lied to for a very long time by my cg and his family. It's very damaging to me, my outlook, my trust. Relationships damaged. You have to be honest, with yourself and others. Do not accept offers of money. Emotional support is ok. Hand over finances. Unfortunately most cg are unable to recover by willpower. It will get worse if you don't close the doors, all if them. I wish you luck and I hope you tell your wife, don't forget that she will need support too. Living with a cg is hard, living with a liar. This is not going away, you have to be on your guard forever, as you have found out.
thanks for the words of support.
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