Hello everyone. First time on here but I need a bit of a reality check as i'm sick to the back bone of wasting money with online slots mainly (Diamond Mine being my downfall). As things stand, no one knows the extent of my gambling. I always ensure my bills are paid but tend to waste whatever is left over gambling online.
I'm 36 and find myself in a situation where my life os just get up, work and online slots.
It's just the slots I play, not into bets or live casino's. I'll only do low stakes (20p goes mainly) so on average tend to spend £10 per day. Now somedays I win a fair bit, but find any profit I make goes straight back onto the slots. However, there can be days where I intend to spend only £10 but then it gets to £50 and then £100 before I stop. I've lost count of how many sites i've self excluded from over the last year. I can go a fair few days without playing then suddenly find the urge to want to play again, hence finding myself joinging another site and then it all starts again.
Its reassuring to read that i'm not alone and feel thaf if I at least add a post, it will begin to sink in that a change is needed and it starts today. Yesterday was a low, at one point I was £XX up, but ended the night £60 down, which now leaves me short for other things fot the rest of the month (Diamond Mine again!). Enough is enough, I dare to compare the amount i've lost to what i've won. The fun has most certainly stopped, so now I need to stop.
It pretty much begun during first lockdown when my girlfriend introduced me to Virgin games when she won £XX playing bingo. I decided to sign up myself with the intention of spending £20 only - before I know it I discovered slots and was £XX after one hour! At that point I withdrew and it was happy days. Then, a few weeks later a decided to log in again and what do you know, another win. As i've mentioned, I only do low stake slots so my winnings are never massive (think the most i've won at once was £XX which is decent for a 20p go). However, as time went on, so did the losses. I always assumed I'd never get caught up in gambling, prior to lockdown it was something I wasn't interested in and even when i'd go to the pub, I never bothered with the fruit machines. In fact I was a member at a casino, but never gambled as I joined just so I could get 2 for 1 on drinks during happy hour (cheapskate, I know).
I've worked from home since lockdown, so found myself having far more time to myself than I was used too. No commute to work to think about, my sons school is at the end of the street so it was easy to pick him up and we saved extra money by not having to pay out for after school/ holiday clubs as I was home most of the time. Boredom, mixed in with more free time and money only meant one thing - why not gamble!
So thats when the chasing losses started, somedays spending £100 and then telling myself 'even if I can win half that back, its still a good go' which is ridiculous when you think about it. However, i'd continue losing and end the day on a downer. I'd the self exclude and promise myself i'll never gamble again......but we all know its not that easy. One time I blew all my budget and dipped into my bill money believing that I will get that big win and win it all back, rarely that happened and I find myself having to sell things on ebay, just so I could eventually put back the money i'd saved for a food shop. I'm really disgusted with myself when I spend well over.
Probably doesn't help that I started watching Youtubers which influences me to have another go myself.
So now, after a solid 2 years of gambling highs and lows, i am done with it and need to change. I never want to relapse again and want my smile back. I do have a gym membership and try and remain active, but it's amazing how a big loss can crush your spirits and leave you with absolutely no motivation to do anything.
I appreciate my story is peanuts compared to what some people have lost financially on here, but we're all in the same boat and have stumbled here in hope that we can turn it around. This morning, i've self excluded some more and really do hope I turn things around. I felt if I can at least acknowledge I have a problem and write down my experiences so far, then the reality of how big of a problem it is will sink in.
Thanks for reading!
Dear @sickofbeingskint ,
Thank you for posting your story on the Forum today. Firstly, I would say please try not to compare yourself to other people and their problems. Your problems are unique to you.
Well done for self excluding, a good start. I am not sure if you have spoken to any of our advisers yet? We can offer further support and practical strategies to help in your recovery.
Please don't hesitate to give us a call free on 0808 802 0133 or use our one to one live online chat.
All the very best
Keely.
Forum Admin
Hi
I found for me I got sick of being sick and in pain and unhealthy.
It took me along time to get my a*s in to gear though.
There is slow and there is me.
I was very reluctant to write my needs my wants and hardest my goals to extend myself and become more motivated and start to feel productive in my life.
Having an unhealthy addiction was much a painful experience.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Hi, well done for putting your experience on here. It doesn't matter how much you have lost compared to others, including me, you have reached out with your problem.
You describe the actions of a compulsive gambler constantly chasing losses and ultimatley digging yourself deeper. The only way to stop this is to get blockers in place. You say you have been excluding from individual sites but the best way is to register with Gamstop and exclude yourself for the maximum of 5 years. Also install a blocker on your phone or whatever you use, I have Betblocker installed, again for the max period of 5 years. You can also contact your bank and get them to block any gambling transactions from your debit card.
You may think these things are extreme but honestly it's the only way to stop. It took me a long time to do all of the above, initially excluding for a month at a time but then counting down the days until I could bet again.
Good luck
I know this sounds crazy, but get your internet provider to block gambling sites for you. ^^
Just a quick update seeing as this post is nearly 8 months old. I decided to do the 5 year ban on Gamstop, really was the best thing to do. I just stick with a weekly go on the lotto now, which is £2 a line. Yeah you never win, but a £2 weekly loss is more bareable than losing a months wage in a week. Thankfully, I was never one for visiting bookies or casino's so to date since my last post, no further money has been wasted on the slots. It's not been easy, the urges are still there but knowing it's incredibly hard to find away around Gamstop, you learn to live with it and eventually you get on with life.....and money once again! Hang in there for those who have just starred giving it up, perservere and you'll get there!
All the best!
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