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Hi Barrow, great job on 5 days gamble free! Hope things a bit better for you and you are getting the support you need. I found the first week or so really tiring and I couldn't really be bothered cooking - but it is really important to look after you general health as we need to be strong to kick this evil habit into touch.

Take care my love and best wishes for the next 5 days xx

Thanks Annie have lost some weight now you mention it,like you say not been up to cooking and lack of sleep is taking its toll,but hopefully that will all settle down.

Struggling today feeling so down and missing my wife,feel like going to abookies and losing a few hours to get away from the pain

Hi Barrow...just read your diary...well done on coming here...you've done well in getting hold of gamcare and sorting debts......the way you feel today is normal love....when we just we want to run to our safe place to gamble.....but it's a circle love....you go there...you may feel better for a while....or if you win...but think about if you don't win...remember that awfull sick feeling that brought you here in the first place....it will come back...and worse....so somehow you have to try to push forward...I know you have got the extra loss of parting with your wife...and I'm sorry that your hurting so...maybe focus on that....another gamble free day...may show her you are really trying to break this circle of distruction....bad days are horrible....but we have to face them head on....which is why we need those barriers so high...good luck love xx

Morning Barrow, we all struggle at the begininning but remember what brought you here in the first place. You are doing well and it must be difficult missing your wife; have you been in touch with her? What about counselling; you can phone Gamcare today and discuss how you're feeling and perhaps get regular counselling set up.

Please resist the tempation to go to the bookies and waste your money, time and progress; you may be able to lose yourself for a couple of hours but your pain will still be there when you emerge from the mist and the only thing that will have changed is you will be more skint.

Take care friend and try to talk to someone today xx

Hi loxxie and Annie thanks for the advice,didn't go in the end so yes another day free but was very close.

Well done love....small steps to get to a better place x

Barrow, I'm so delighted for you, you did not give in to temptation when you were feeling so low. This proves that you are up to the job as you have taken another step in your recovery by overcoming a huge hurdle - bl00dy good show my lovely.

Keep up the good work. Keep posting on your diary. We're all in this together and happy to be walking along the road of recovery with you. Take care my love xx

Hi Barrow, just a wee check in to see how things are. Hope you're well pal xx

Just read this thread; I made that call last week. It seems so simple now but how difficult is it first time out ?

Keep it going; every morning you wake up on the other side...

Felt so proud of myself,and then my wife went on a rant after giving me some hope.don't know what to do wether to go back to area and stay with friends or make a complete break as she keeps giving mixed messages about reuniting.if there is no chance there is no point in putting myself through all this.Will be a long week

Hiya Barrow, sorry things not going so well with your wife. I hope you can get something sorted. Have you considered GA where you could attend with your wife?

Well done in remaining gamble free - that's a huge step and can show your wife how you are comitted to your recovery. Take care, best wishes and hope this week is not too tough on you xxx

Still gamble free,but am in such a dark place at the no all of a sudden my addiction seems like a molehill compared to everything else am having to deal with,really don't see the point in anything right now

Hi Barrow please consider seeing your GP and hopefully you can get some kind of support during this difficult time. What about calling Gamcare? Also try Step Change or other organisations which can offer you debt advice and draw up a plan to make tings more managable, and make sure their services are free. I'm sorry I can't help much more than that but be assured you are in my thoughts and really hope things get better for you xx

Barrow - I've been through hell and back. Not directly the same as you but having a son born weighing 1 lb 10 ounce and on intensive critical care for 20 weeks at the start of his life puts you in a very dark place. I've been through unimaginable pain and been close to a mental breakdown. I understand your pain. I've come though it. You want to reach out to me and talk then I'm here for you. Stay positive. Chin up and get over this addiction.