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Hi Barrow, how's things?

Hi have been a busy bee,start a new job tomorrow that is a live-in position so two birds with one stone there,wife has contacted solicitor so that boat has definitely sailed,have arranged to see my daughter and grandson in the summer so got that to look forward to,have had quite a few wobbles the last week or so when things were getting on top,but made it thru another dodgy period.not out of the woods by a long shot with debts etc but for the moment job and a roof feels good

Hi there my love, was getting worried as you hadn't posted. Really well done on the new job and place to live - that is fantastic. We all have wobbles pal but just get on here, type it down, read others diaries, phone Gamcare...whatever you need until the wobbles have gone.

Have you been in touch with debt management companies with regard to your financial situation? I use Step Change, and it really has taken a load of pressure off me.

I wish you all the best and as I have said, delighted to see you posting again xx

Hiya Barrow, hope you're well and enjoying your new job. It'd be great if you can let us know how you're getting on because we care and also we're a nosey lot!! (well I am!!!)

Take care buddy

Feel c**P completely relapsed,I haven't learned a thing,why can't I just get on with my life without lying to my family and myself,have destroyedceveryones Faith in me first time left alone have smashed all my money on those evil crooked roulettes again what do I have to do to stop am useless and worthless,why isn't the love and support given by those that have stood by me enough for me,don't see a way out anymore.Just give up.

And again am at it,found an old account and started betting as usual winning until I get to a decent amount then onto the roulette and wham all gone,will this ever end.is torture and can't face my family with this again have let everyone down so badly.

Sitting crying have done it all again,can't see a way out I have let everyone down again,even thinking there is only one way this torment is going to ever end,don't want to carry on like this have had enough

barrow220972 wrote: Sitting crying have done it all again,can't see a way out I have let everyone down again,even thinking there is only one way this torment is going to ever end,don't want to carry on like this have had enough

If your like me your trying to gamble away the pain for sins of the past.

At least you have still have a job and someware to live.

And a chance at a fresh start

My advice for what it is worth.

go and seek professional help this site is a great and helpful place for CG's

but some need face to face help.

you need to distract yourself with a hobby or something instead of gambling. for what its worth ive been without a single bet for nearly 900 days and ive had no partner in that time, i had some counselling at first but it can be done on your own still

I can't do this keep gambling just done the lot again,have only bread and butter til Friday now but it still doesn't stop,and I can't stop I want to but just can't help myself at this rate will be homeless and jobless again in no time with no way back this time,why can't I stop when I know it's stacked against me and I keep losing everything.Like I said feel like giving up on everything cos this is no way to live and I can't carry on like this

Barrow, you have admitted you're beaten. Some people can do this on willpower alone, sadly you are not one of them. You need to seek out professional help, be it the doctor, counselling, GA or a combination of all three. With not only your job and roof over your head at stake, you're in danger of losing your sanity too - please, for yourself and your family, seek help now. Call Gamcare, but do it now. I'd also suggest having your wages paid to someone close to you, be it family or friend and have a daily allowance. There must be a reason that you are self destructing so regularly, and my heart goes out to you but you must help yourself properly - don't promise to do it, just do it.

You're in my thoughts Barrow, let us know how you are tomorrow.

Twinklyr

Hello Barrow

It's been a few days since you posted here, and it sounded like you were going through a really tough time having relapsed. How are you doing now? I hope you can stay in touch on the forum as you have been doing as a way of accessing support. Perhaps it would help to have a chat about this in more depth on the helpline: 0808 8020 133.

Like twinklyr has said, perhaps it's time to think about getting some help. We offer free counselling, both face to face and online. As well as offering you much needed support, counselling could help you to develop ways of coiping with the urges to gamble and help you to move forwards. Maybe it's something to think about...

Take care of yourself.

Laura

Oldhamktf wrote:

Hi barrow just read your diary. I've been where you are its f*****g hard but it does get easier both with the gambling and getting your life back on track. I had a lot of abuse at the start but if I'm honest nothing more than I deserved after the years of abuse I and my gambling had inflicted on her.

I just took it on the chin I had no defence the first 3 months where painful. I locked myself away. The bit gambling has been a breeze and I don't mean that flippantly I have been selfish and thrown everything I can at abstaining. I started a diary on here and updated a lot at the start, I put the blocks in place told family I had no choice but it made the most difference I go yo GA.

I'm not giving up on getting back together but I am trying carry on living again and show her my son and family I am worth having around. I see glimpse of hope but I'm at the if it happens it happens stage.

Just put as much effort into not gambling as you used to lie and decive your way to your next bet.

You've accepted and admitted your problems now it's time to work on changing them for the better.

I wish you well and will be here to support.

KTF

Did you ever get to GA or counselling like some have advised?

As I am not registered with a gp gamcare left me high and dry with regard to counselling, I can't carry on like this,I don't want to carry on like this,I need someone to stop me I can't tell anyone they will all disown me once and for all and I can't take that have lost enough already.this torment is never-ending am truly in hell and losing my mind.yet again all alone in a room wanting it all to end

Barrow,

I'm sorry to hear that it's so hard but the help IS out there. Your job is to accept that you're licked and take it. And that's something YOU have to do, for you. No one else can do that bit. You've not alone, you've had a lot of advice and support from the forum but at this stage, it's down to you to follow it.

If something went wrong with the counselling, try GC again, as many times as you need to. And GA has multiple meetings in multiple venues, all you have to do is turn up. They'll help you help yourself. Short term, Samaritan's number is 116 123.

Money comes and money goes but your life is precious. Pick up the phone.

CW