New to the site.here’s my story…
gambling started several years ago and had a couple of big wins which reeled me in and got me hooked. Fast forward few years later and I have 5 loans and 3 credit cards totally maxed out. My husband knew nothing. But calls and letters started and he discovered how much debt I was in. Our marriage was already on the rocks and despite the debts all being my own (none of his money) he took great issue with it! He was no support and he was making me feel worse about it. I left him.
this actually helped. I realised that the issues in the marriage were an emotional trigger which often made me gamble. I went to a debt company to consolidate the debt and it was almost £40k. They set up a payment plan which I HAD to stick to. I did. The payment plan was due to last almost 6 years. 5 years in and I most of the debt is clear, I’m settled in new home and had a promotion in work! I have 2 children also. I don’t quite know what happened last year but I went looking for gambling sites again. Luckily I had previously signed up to Gamstop so I could not access the majority of mainstream sites. But all of a sudden I was getting text messages and things popping up on Facebook offering sites that were not on Gamstop…they got me and reeled me back in. I feel I am spiralling again. I have missed my debt repayments, skipped a rent payment and starting to get in a mess once again. How can I stop ???
Good morning Beno,
It is great to have you here with us, and congratulations in taking your first step. Immensely courageous!
The Forum is a wonderful platform, where you can support you Peers, as they conversely support you, in a realistic, practical, honest and compassionately.
You will experience, service users with a wealth of lived experience, and tools and skills which have been learnt and embedded along the way.
What you have described, sounds overwhelming, but I hear in your disclosure, that you can acknowledge and recognise triggers, whether external, personal or interpersonal.
It is courageous and positively empowering, that you have identified your triggers, and have reflected on the impact of emotional harm, not to mention financial.
Draw on the positives, you have had a promotion at work, motherhood comes with a whole host of challenges, however you are achieving a huge amount of strength, self will and determination.
I would strongly, advise a call with our Helpline, 0808 8020 133, they will provide you with immediate support and look at the providers in your area, to include GamCare.
We provide 1-2-1 support, dependent on your location, and we work closely with other providers.
I would encourage you, to explore our EmpowerMe self led, online service and look to register. The online digital support EmpowerMe, is designed, to educate, empower and support your recovery, looking at your recovery both practically and holistically.
I would suggest, the measures that have been recently working for you, GAMSTOP and GAMBAN, reflect on the emotions when you were proactive, and goal setting, and how the positive changes made you feel.
You have identified that you have an unhealthy relationship with Gambling, it comes down to accessing the support, and onward planning. We are here for you, support is available and immediately.
We have themed Chatrooms everyday, please view on our website.
Try and adopt self compassion to aid your recovery, as clearly there has been rapid changes, all of which can make one feel, overwhelmed, challenged, flustered and losing control.
Focus on your mood, when you acknowledged the problem, and faced it 'head on' - Reflect on how you felt at that moment of change (Make a vow to change - Is a huge step forward) Embrace the positives.
Support is here, please make contact with our wonderful HelpLine Team.
As mentioned previously, the Chatrooms are also, a positive way to engage with others who have lived experience, and practise the skills, which support their recovery.
Good luck,
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Jen.
Okay so the thing is the only person who can win in gambling is the person who has unlimited money to put on gamble and unfortunately in our case its the house who has that much funds so no matter how much max win we get or 1000 x we get, due to house advantage, at the end our balance would be zero and at some point we will no longer have enough funds to breakeven, So chasing losses is totally okay untill you have funds to support your every next loss so try to avoid it as hard earned money will take time to come but its the type of money that will not cheat you ever untill you put that also in gambling, i also lost one grand and it was my two and a half month of salary that i wanted to double to give it to my mother because she wanted to get some furniture for the house and i know there is a chance of winning if i place same amount of bet to breakeven but there is a chance of losing it too and if i lose, i will no longer have money to chase that loss so its not worth taking that much risk so just accept the loss, just earn the same amount of lost money through other sources and the dopamine will return to you, Earn, share half of it with the borrowers and use half of it for the basic expenses, You are a brave lady and hope soon your debt goes away with time, Take it as a lesson and teach it to your children, They could be saved from doing gambling in future by hearing your story so there is nothing much you could wish for i guess, You know what, my mother is a working women and i really want her to retire soon, So in future your children must be proud of you for doing so hard in your life and surely would respect this thing as much as i do, Its just a matter of time for the breakeven to come so the only help you should take is the help of time.
Have a great life ahead!
Look how good you did in the five years you can do ot again. I get the fb part they seem to be targeting us alot ok this platform. I requested fb to block gambling sites.
Start over again your in a far better position than you were when you left your husband. Wish you all the best
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