New here,. Scared, anxiety. Please talk to me.

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(@mattykim)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

I have always had a love of Fruit machines, when I worked, I would literally spend my entire lunch hour on it convinced it would pay.  100 in most days?.  Anyway i no longer work, and discover T*****a few years ago.  Particularly arcade, instant win. I have savings a pension. Not loads but enough. The limit is £500 pw. Ism SO ASHAMED I SPEND THIS MOST WEEKS. BY DAY two limit used, I get Ansy as I can't spend again till following week. I always feel gamblers remorse, I do withdrawing I win, but goes back in eventually.  I'm scared I will fritter away my little pot, and desperate to stop.  I have many personal problems iam alone alot and disabled. I cannot be around well, so I just end up gambling. I feel happy, excited, but BADa I always obviously loose in the end. I get excited on Monday morning hubby goes to work, bam phone on deposit starts.  I do exclude myself, but always get excited when exclusion will end.   Please help, I hide it, hubby has no clue as I deal with money. I don't spend house money, but have borrowed in past and near to using mortgage or bill money. Any kind words would be much appreciated. Xxxxxxx

This topic was modified 5 years ago by Mattykim
 
Posted : 25th January 2020 1:15 pm
(@oranje01)
Posts: 195
 

You are stronger than you think and wiser than you believe. 
stay strong ? 

 
Posted : 25th January 2020 10:43 pm
DramaLlama
(@dramallama)
Posts: 920
 

Welcome to Gamcare Kim. 

I never used house money....until the urge to gamble became to strong and then I found myself unable to pay the mortgage and energy bills and real important stuff. It was a scary place. I am glad that you came here before it got to that stage. 

Gamcare has a Helpline, you can call them by telephone or chat by live messaging and I strongly recommend you use that support because they are better placed to help you than I am. 

There is a Group Chat every day at 1pm and 8pm and most of us recovering problem gamblers like to check in there at least once a day. You get lot's of help and support in there too. 

I am pleased that you reached out for help and support. The forum thing has asterised out your comment about what you found so I dunno what you are gambling on. I believe it's online so I'll say build up your barriers. Install blocking software (Gamcare can help with that). 

Find the courage to tell Hubby if you can that you are aren't coping and need some help with the finances. I know it's hard cos I've done it but no money really does equal no gambling. 

Yeah, just reach out, use all the support available and take time to listen. The more you join in and listen to others stories, the more you think of ways to build up your own barriers. 

Take care of you. 

Drama x

 
Posted : 25th January 2020 11:48 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi Mattykim and welcome.

The controlling part of your mind is hooked on the drug fix those machines are giving it. Only its a fix that destroying you just like heroin or hard drinking.

Its not love...your body has come to crave them at all costs on the trainride to pure hell.

YOU MUST STOP! YOU ARE BLIND TO THE TRUTH ABOUT THEM. the flashing lights and the reels have sucked you in because that is what they are designed to do.

The odds are horrendous. Yes they tell you its random but so is the lottery ...the way they are designed and programmed should be illegal...do you realise the odds are about 1 in 10 to win 50p. I could fleece you all year (well all your life) on this odds.

The RTP is meaningless per session so they are are not a soft option. I know your confused mind will be thinking be quiet joydivider cos I've won the jackpot a couple of times. We all did but it never happens as expected and once you are hooked the money goes back in anyway.

THE MONEY IS NEVER ENOUGH once hooked probably wouldnt make any difference anyway as your ill mind has no plans for it bit to seek more by gambling.

My overall losses were tens of thousand of pounds...winning a jackpot was meaningless in the bigger picture. I was a drug addict for a daily fix of gambling

Please tell someone close...this addiction kills people to be necessarily blunt...it will destroy you and your savings are at deadly risk as the addiction progresses to huge amounts of money to get any fix

gambling is NOT the answer to what you seek...Its NOT the answer to your thoughts about money....Nobody would go to work if that was the case.

Theres no clever gambling on machines...Its a mugs game and they were called one armed bandits for a reason...the lever mugging you for your money.

Thats what they do....mug you for your money. They just realised that they don't have to put a  mask on in the street...they entice you into a den of iniquity OR ONLINE with all the other lost, empty and lonely addicts.

The issues are in your soul. You can heal but it takes help and a journey of recovery.

Are you truly ready?

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 5 years ago 2 times by Joydivider
 
Posted : 27th January 2020 1:34 pm

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