hi writing this after losing yet more money that i really could not afford .Im here feeling guilty ashamed angry (at myself) selfish and pathetic that i never seem to learn my lesson. I have well and truly admitted to myself now that i have a problem and so want to be free and feel normal .Started playing slots on line bingo sites and it started from there had some good wins and banked them but then i started to carry on till i lost all the money and then feel guilty and start chasing my losses , my husband does not understand why i do it and is so annoyed with me and i dont blame him either but its not enough for me to stop this had been going on for months i cry about what i have done promise myself and my hubby i wont do it again and i kid myself . i ban my self of sites only to find another the daft thing is i never thought i would end up having a gambling addition but i guess no one does do they . so i have decided i am going to come on here every day and do a Diary read other posts and be gamble free 🙂
Hi Zoe, welcome to recovery 🙂
Wow, if I have your handle correct that's 5 kids...Must be hectic in your house, any chance that maybe part of the gambling is to escape? I came to the site last year convinced that gambling was all about the money but the further into recovery I go & the more I read, the less it appears to be so! I swore to myself for years, on a daily basis that that was my last penny, sat down, spent hours figuring out how long it would be til I was straight & then the very next morning racing back to the shops to lose more! My mum is also a CG! I can't understand her, I can't understand me, there's little or no chance of a non gambler making sense of something we can't!
Good news is, recovery is possible & this is a great place to have come! You may want to consider the helpline, counselling, GA to try & figure out why you do it but in the meantime you can make abstaining possible by breaking your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle! This is a great place to kill time & setting yourself up with a diary will give you somewhere to offload! Get hubby to help you download some blocking software (K9 is free but this wasn't my poison so you may want to look @ others like Betfilter, Gamblock or NetNanny) & if possible, get him to take control of the finances! If your damage is all online, ditch your cards & get a basic bank account.
Time to start living - ODAAT
Well done Zoe
I am also new and 4 days gamble free and find this site helps a lot as unlike your husband it is full of people who do understand what you are going through
It's the same with my wife and I guess most people who haven't had an addiction problem to truly understand why we would want to throw thousands of pounds away because of course this is not what we want to do..... We want to make lots of money easily and quickly, we want to get a buzz that our normal mundane lives won't allow us to have. In truth all we seem to get is anger, shame, depression and self pity and these feelings are what I try to remember each time the thought of gambling enters my head.
There is a forum on here for family and friends to try and help them understand and also what they can do to help.
well done on taking the first step and stay strong
D
Hello
Gambling online is so easy and it's spread all ova the tv all night. I'm recently new to this site and this is my first time to try and stop. Going well
Gone 8 days now my poison is the bookies fobt machines. Painful.
What I done was over 2 days self exclusion from all the bookies and cashinos in my area. And went online to all the sites I could find and either emailed or contact ed there customer services and gave my details to self exclude from there sites. Took me ages. But if you really mean what you say you will give yourself the best opportunity to quit if you take the time to do this.
The temptation is too much to just sign up to another site. You will have to be strong because in the long run the site will have your money ten fold.
Start winning bye not playing good luck to you
Dose anyone know how to start your dairy on here don't know how to do one or post?
Thanks
Hi Franner08
To start a recovery diary on the forum click on the Recovery diaries section of the forum and at the bottom of that page on the left hand side you will see a blue rectangle which says New topic. Click on this and it will take you to a new page where you can start your own thread. This is the same procedure to start a new thread on any of the form sections.
Hope this helps
Best wishes
Alex
Hi,i am also very new to this so i understand how you feel,i started over 12 months ago with scratchcards then over the xmas period i had family issues that seemed to push me over the edge,i started signing up on all the bingo offers that were everywhere and you got it before i knew what was happening i had wasted all my money and won nothing,i then did the unthinkable i stole from my own son to try and cover up the missing money,i have to life with that,i came clean to my close family who all said they knew i was still gambling even though i was always denying it,but i guess until you hit rock bottom and admit to yourself you have a problem then no one can help you,i saw my doctor yesterday who told me to self refer to mind.org as its quicker than them refering you,so i did that today and i have an assesment on thursday to see what help i need,im terrified of letting people down by gambling again,but i see it as take each day at a time,i have no acess to money or my bank card,my husband has it,i also ask for reciepts when i go to the shops as that is my proof,i think just admitting you have a problem is a massive step in the right direction and i hope and pray you get the help you need
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