Im sure you will have all read a similar post before, but this is the first time I have used GamCare so here goes...
I have been gambling since the age of 15, using false names on websites, to asking people of age to go into shops for me for a bit of fun. Starting off betting 50p - £5 max quite often and was never an issue to myself. Having then got into the habit of gambling on sports/ FOBT's I believed that my 1 off wins of £100 - £200 could be easily increased to thousands only if i increased the stake. From the age of 18 I was working part time and managed to earn myself more than my normal weekly pennies. This then became a habit of mine to go straight to the bookies or go online with this money and blow it on what i believed would be an easy quick win.
Ever since, week by week, day bay day this has got worse for me. I now work full time, and all of my spare money goes on betting. I will bet on literally anything that i can bet on. From virtual dogs to a certain amount of cards in a football game. The stakes have increased from £5 max to £1000 max, i have gone from being happy all of the time to being angry, depressed and feeling lonely a lot of my life.
2 years ago i seeked advice from a counsellor after finally confessing to my girlfriend and parents that i had a severe problem. I am very lucky to have parents and a girlfriend that would support me rather than show neglect and hatred for the stupidity that i have shown. I had a counsellor for 3 months every monday. I went to all bookies in my area and self excluded. I self excluded from all betting sites i possibly could and things were looking better for me.
The problem now being that I will drive for long periods of time to get to a bookies to put a large bet on. Self exclusion has not worked for me. It has starved me of betting, making me want to bet even more. This problem i feel is getting worse and worse. I need some help and advise on how to stop completely. I have read some others forums and they are very inspiring for me. I would do anything to be able to stop betting for life, not just for a day/week/month/year. I never want to put a bet on ever again. I can only see this going in one direction. I always tend to do whatever i want to do/ wht makes me happy. So when i want to put a bet on, i cannot help myself but do whatever i can to put it on.
I would really like some help and advice on atleast where to start with this and to stop the betting thoughts in my head or atleast to be able to just laugh at the idea of betting when i get the urge.
Best possible start is to ask your parents and/or girlfriend to take control of your finances. Making yoursef accountable to someone else makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret. Once you've limited your ability to gamble get to GA and further counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions). You need to identify and address whatever it is that's driving the compulsion.
Hi I agree with Lethe hand over control of you finances to someone else. Get to a meeting. Go on live chat. Call gamcare. The only person who can stop this is you. Get help and support.
Best off giving your finances away mate. Also Worth giving your online banking details over to your parents or girlfriend. At least they can monitor your finances and question any withdrawals you make etc. Anything deposited online would then be on your statement. Perhaps another idea would be to open another bank account where you have access to that and you would be sent money over from whoever controls it i.e. Petrol, lunch money. Self exclusions aren't completely fool proof and don't always work. There are simply too many bookies around to ban yourself from. I banned myself from over 250 one day by giving certain postcodes and they banned me from each one. But it is simply too easy to just drive for 30 minutes and find one. Giving up your finances will be at least the best thing for the short and at least you can start getting your self in a better place.
Thank you all for your responses.
In terms of being happy with myself without the urge to gamble, how long does it normally take? Am i to just take it day by day and push myself not to gamble every day and i will eventually find it easier? I have found that it gets harder for me the more i dont gamble. Any ideas?
From now on when i am paid, my money will go into a seperate account and I will be sent an allowance to live off, making it easier for me to stop myself.
After posting the new forum yesterday i went home with £0 to my name and found around £20 in my drawers that i forgot about. I did think in my head i could go to the bookies and put a bet on the football last night but talked myself out of it and really felt good about it. I have put it in a savings jar and id love to have more of these personal little boosts to keep me feeling good about my progress.
Im so deretmined to beat gambling this time around!!
I mainly have a problem with online betting, so it's a little different in terms that you can't really withdraw all your money as cash - as you'll spend it! But what I've learnt is that there are many little loopholes we can make as problem gamblers, and we have to put up a lot of protections for a period of time whilst we figure out deeper WHY we gamble. That is the only way.
So for example in your case, I would say complete restriction of finances. I would get your girlfriend to honestly manage all your money and get her to demand recipets from you. I know this sounds extreme, but one thing I found that I couldn't lie to my partner so it actually stopped me from gambling... then we broke up lol but the principal still applies.
Good luck!
Hi TomS
The urges to die away when you enter a full recovery and come to terms with yourself. My best advice is that its a gradual process strongly backed up with proper blocks which can be termed cold turkey as with substances.
Gambling is now classed in the same chapter as substance abuse. Its the same hit of escape because gambling can not be rationalised in the light of day.
My advice and experience is that we must never be complacent. I still use the present tense in that I am a compulsive gambler even though I havent gambled since Dec 2015.
Its a born again moment you are looking for. Sit down and write down your losses. Explain a gambling session to loved ones and you will realise your words sound empty and help you realise its a complex addiction.
We all became compulsive gamblers and thare is no shame in admitting that. Its not for you and you cant control it. You need to strongly focus that its not a money making scheme. They would be out of "business" within a week if it was.
Its a learning process which starts with strong blocks and family support. You will know you are ready when you are content to hand over your money and live on an allowance. All spending must be reported and no money is to be handed to you unless they see receipts and your bills being paid with it. Its not about being treated like a baby...its about saving your life
My parents stand in the bank with me for any large transactions I am involved with. Thinks like rent payment transfers or bills. they wouldnt hand me cash again and Im happy because its better proving the trust again than having a gambling addiction.
So welcome to the forum and the advice here does work
Best wishes
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