I'm a 30 year old female with an amazing partner and 21 month old daughter. I've got a good job, wonderful friend and family. I admitted my addiction to my family 2 days ago. I hate myself. The first time I've ever admitted it and said it out loud. I used to go to the pub with my Dad as a kid when I worked in a shop with him and he would play fruit machines. I loved them. Years later I finished uni and got a full time job. I've always paid my bills, mortgage, nursery fees etc etc. Alongside this I've racked up £25k in debt. Started doing odd £10 bets about 6 years ago. Over time this escalated. Footie bets on teams I didn't even know, horses, black jack - all online. I hate myself. It became trying to claw back rather than win. I don't want to gamble. I've self excluded myself from everything. My sister gets married this year and it's supposed to be about her and I've don't this. My Mum hugged me when I told her. My partner is so far sticking by me. I can't face my brothers and won't be able to look my sister in the eye. I'm going to my first GA meeting tonight. Don't know whether it's a good idea? What have I done..
You have done the best thing in you're life by telling them .Let them know everything and dont hold anything back . I came clean for the first time in my life at the weekend .Its ended my engagement to a woman i love,My family are angry,..but i had to do it ,i just couldnt go on hiding it anymore .The stress overcomes us in the end .We at heart are not devious ,lying people ..thats what this disease has done to us all ,all us broken CGs. GA will be good .i wish you well in you're recovery.
Sorry you've lost her. My partner and daughter are the best thing in the world. I don't even enjoy gambling. Ridiculous isn't it.
Its this disease we have. It got at the end with me and roulette i didnt even care if i won or lost ! ,what sort of maniac shovels 1000s into a machine and doesnt bother what happens ,id have been better off just throwing it into the street. Its all my own fault ,everything .Ive had chance after chance and blew it . Gambling has brought me to my knees ... BUT the only way is up .Im going back to GA and sticking at it . I really hope you do well in it because it works ,... i just didnt pay attention to the advice and help and the gutter is where it leads too in the end im afraid.
Hi Lfm85,
So far fellow you've done well, facing up to your problems, telling your family. That is a big step. Your case sounds very familar with mine. I feel better just coming up to two weeks without a bet, which I've not done in over two years. I've set a goal to tell my wife next week and then attend my first GA meeting next Friday. Telling the wife is the part I'm dreading, so if you can offer me any advice or how you went about if please do. I dare not tell my mother, it would probably kill her!
You've done right coming on here, the posts and support are excellent, even if they bring tears to my eyes. But I believe these tears make me feel better, we are all CGs facing our demons and trying to get over our addiction.
Please post tomorrow and let us all know how your first GA meeting went on.
I'm repeating myself, but you've done done one of the hardest parts of being a compulsive gambler and thats facing up to the fact and telling the family before you get caught out. All the best, look forward to reading your posts.
Hi Shep,
Thanks for your post. And we'll done on your near 2 years. I was quite cowardly. I told my mum (who is recovering from cancer and has just lost her brother) first so I couldn't bottle out of telling my partner. Daftly, I practiced my first few sentences. I asked each other then to sit down. Told them they may leave me or hate be, but I owed them the truth.. And then it can out. Everything. The last two days I have prepared myself for the next lot of questions and answered them all truthfully. Tried to eat and sleep a bit better so I have it in me to answer them as best I can. I've had mixed reactions from my family. Try to avoid sounding sorry for yourself. I imagine it must be infuriating. If you think on let me know how you get on?
Morning Lfm85,
Hope you had a good evening last night?
Just to correct you I'm nearly 2 weeks without a bet, I wish it was two years! For the last 2-3 years I probably gambled everyday.
Somewhere in my first few lines to my wife I'm going to say "sorry and that I love her" and "I'm a gambling addict who needs help". Then tell her about the debts that I've aquired. So I will be practicing the first few lines, I know when it comes out I will probably cry. I owe her the truth, but hopefully she will help me without anyone else knowing. Like you say you have prepared yourself for the next lot of questions, I'm dreading this, probably more than telling the initial bit! I don't want to go into detail of the size of the bets, where and when, all she needs to know is the debt amount. I know she will ask why, which I can honestly answer. Lets see what I face. Doesn't help that its mother's day next Sunday, just hope the upset from the house has lifted and the kids don't sense it!
Thanks
clearly no expert, but tell her everything including the amount...
Not sure about the meeting. Have now had a face to face with my brothers and sister. Feel disgusted in myself but it was important.
How are you?
I'm ok, thanks.
I'm at Butlins in Skeggy this weekend to be honest with two good friends. No bets, no urge to bet which is good. Back home tomorrow. Can't lie worried about telling Mrs next week! Doesn't make things easier when I'm told I'll be working away Mon-Wed next week!
Hope you are ok? Thanks.
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