First of all, thank you people for sharing your troubled times.
It helps to understand that your not the only one..
I have a beautiful family whom i love so dearly, I have hurt them so bad though. I have been trawling the internet all day trying to find something to help me cope with the fact that I have been online gambling yet again. I no longer wish to delude myself that I do not have a problem. I DO and today is the 1st day of of me dealing with my problem, My partner has been all and every thing that a man could possibly be. it started last year i used to buy scratch cards and was happy to scratch away, bonus if you won but not a problem if not. I then won £1000 on one of the cards this gave me the winning taste and I wanted more. That's where the greed set in,I then joined online web sites and started playing the slots some big wins, then plenty of big losses, eventually I started to use the credit cards and any money that came my way,I guess a big part of the gambling was to make more money as during this period i had been made redundant twice, I ended up having to go bankrupt for £23000 still not recognising that this was a massive problem in my life, I racked up more debt on my partners cards, silly amounts of money chasing the big win, After standing by me and having to remortgage the house that he has worked so hard for all of his working life, to pay the cards that i had used to gamble with. I promised him with all my heart that This was the end to my gambling, I just could not stop myself going back on to the website and gambling away his wages and christmas bonus. I then went to see my parents and begged them to help me out with some money they gave me £2000 to replace the christmas money of 2012 again promising that this will never happen. seeing the pain in his eyes was enough for me...things got better and I managed the urge's to gamble and become stronger...I logged on a few months ago and just kept on depositing my hard earned cash. I left it for a few weeks then repeated the same thing again until my card declined...I had been ok, or so i thought. I don't won't to be a liar or for my partner not to trust me, then I did it again last night,and lied to him when he asked me what I was doing ...I hide the laptop.. I can not do this to myself any longer and certainly my family. So I am taking my 1st steps to admit I HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM. This is where it ends, and I am looking forward to getting back to the old ME with help & support and counselling.
Hi kareng
I'm sorry to hear of the problems you have had but glad to see you are taking the right steps for recovery your in the right place as everyone on here can relate and understand what you are going through. Importantly as well you have a very caring family and supportive husband which should be incentive enough to seek the help you need. As you've said you managed to stop for a while before so try to use that as a positive going forward and remind yourself of how well you have done previously and how well you are doing just now by admitting the problem to yourself and others as its a big step to take. I have only admitted this to myself and my girlfriend this week and feel a lot better for it and feel that being open about things is the best way to go. I wish u all the best going forward
Thanks for your kind words guys and your time in reading my message.
I guess we will all achieve our goals,not to gambling with the supportive word's of others that have been or are just going through this. I feel a lot better in myself by admitting my problem and can not wait until I receive my wages and know that it is for me and not the gambling pot. since posting my 1st message I have blocked all gambling sites from my server which pleases me knowing that even if the urge was there It is out of my power to access any such sites. I wish both of you that replied to my message, strength and will power to carry on the positive approach you are taking. well done to you.
Regards
Kareng
Hi, I have not been on for a while but i would like to update my situation..My aim was to keep my wages instead of gambling it away...I feel so good as I entered into 2014 I spent my wages on my family and diod not give the slots a chance with my hard earned cash..I have just been out and brought my little boy new trainers, footy boots and stopped off for a bite to eat...simple things!! I was unable to do this before at random times as my money would have been gone to the slots...For all those out there, just be strong and look at your kids or your loved 1 and say to yourself...that they are having the money..this has helped me to stop the urge to fritter away my money...I am looking forward to a new year with even more will power to put the gambling well and behind me...i have even saved some money aside to get a new hair colour on the 7th January..again simple things!! but something to look forward to and know that I dont want to go on the slots ,I want the normal things in life and that what i have lost in the past will not come back...
Hi Kareng
Welcome to this forum. I was like you and often spent almost all of my hard earned salary to online gambling as soon as it hit my bank account. This then lead to catastrophic consequences which then left me feeling overwhelmed, guilty, stressed, sick - to name but a few.
There is nothing better than seeing your salary spent wisely, being able to pay all of your bills, small treats along the way (which I think are really important in our recovery) and seeing your bank statements with NO online gambling transactions!!
If you continue as you are doing, each month will get better and better. Having blocks in place I think are a god send and hopefully, the longer you abstain, the less the cravings will come and if they do, the more you will be able to hopefully manage them well.
Continue what you are doing - it will definitely be for the best, believe me. I know where you are coming from when you say about pampering yourself with a new hair colour. I went so long without getting my hair cut and at one point, even cut it myself!! This was a woman who for years, went to a top hair salon to have my hair cut and styled!! This is what gambling can resort to, amongst many other terrible things.
Take care and remain strong.
Feb.
Thanks everyone, for sharing
ive had a battle- the penny finally dropped! Gambling is not a sure bet! I am calculating up positive GF days! With the help of reading all of the experience’s and emotional times you people share. I am feeling sooooo good, GameStop, is such a comfort safety blanket.. I have never felt this confident throughout my gambling addiction, it is so pleasing to feel , that I’m in control, Gamecare Thank You- I feel and believe I’m getting there
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
