Anyone else fell like this?! I think it's what you would call "chasing"
I have on and off been addicted (didnt realise I was) to these awful machines for 4-5 years. I tend to have months where i will use them, but I always end up spending right down to my last , and then some on credit cards. the real shame of it is the time,years of working wasted. I dont have kids (luckily) but i really feel I'm jepordising my future, gambling this way, I hate it. Then theres the mood swings, yeah "up' is great but being depressed and guilt, the worst guilt, because I'm smart enough to know its wrong, an I still do it! I think lucky for me I am generally a "half full" kinda guy. Dont know how much I have spent (700 in 60 minutes last night) but at points it has been near everything. Sometimes i really do feel like the lab rat mentioned above, pressing buttons for coloured lights! reading some of the posts on here helps, I know I'm not on my own with this, and I know there are others perhaps really in deeper than me, its all about perspective. Listen any of you who talk about rock bottom, no way out, I really dont believe that, S**t aint easy though 🙂 I hope this aint too wishy washy, really cheesed off with my self today. thanks for listening
a quote I like, maybe it'll help someone
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win" Muhammed Ali
Well done Eddie for finding your way to this site. You'll find lots of support and help. For a start, realising you're not alone in this really helps. You know what you have to do! On line slots are my downfall - I would play (hence lose) at every available opportunity - lost thousands and thousands. Have installed K9 ...and excluded myself from every site I could think of. Hey... have been gamble-free for over a week now and I am sleeping at night. No panic attacks or waking at hourly intervals and shaking with worry!!! Hideous feelings! Be strong .... You've taken the first step. Start a recovery diary and keep posting and TALK to people here. Best wishes. Helen. X
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