Payday and I m thinking

I played but played the "try it for free/demo" and instantly felt the cycle of up and down. Frankly, I felt extremely bored and quit the game. Since I did this, I have not really thought about gambling up until now when I came to post about it.

I hope you manage to stay strong. I am worrying about what I'll do on Wednesday when I get paid too.

Do you have someone to help you watch your money? I need to do it myself this time and need to be really strong.

My plan, which maybe you can try too, is to get as much of my monthly expenditure spent asap. Eg. I will fill my car, do a huge grocery shop, pay all bills including extra to debt, order currency for my upcoming holiday, take out some cash (I gamble online) for work lunches/day to day life.

im hoping that doing this will leave me very little left in my account and also no worries for the month as everything is paid for.

good luck for the rest of the month

Thanks Lizzy! I am going with a similar approach

Hi all.

Payday is a test of feelings but I found it can be any day when you feel slightly flush or slightly deflated after paying all the bills and food. Its the £50 or £100 left which can tempt a relapse in oh what can a little go hurt.

So it really is about giving willpower the strong backups and blocks it needs. I hardly know of anyone thats quit on willpower alone.

These best way is to have someone else control your money or the bulk of it. This frees the mind into just healing and resetting itself. Its not about being treated like a baby and fast transfers can now be done into your account.

The free demos are interesting in that they are dull without the money element and they have no meaning. Over time you wont play those either as they are just boring and a waste of time. Hopefully that is how you will see all gambling after a period of time has passed.

I just see it as a mugs game now and have no thoughts about wanting to gamble other than trying to help on gamcare.

Best wishes

Hi Joy,

I get the idea of handing control over to someone else but it does not/will not work for me. I am rather happy to not gamble if I have to lose control over my finances.

Yes, its a mugs game. All my life I believed in earning my living but not sure why I screwed up this way. Never again I will do such a thing.

Ok its not possible in every case but you do have to have other solid blocks then. Total self exclusions locally and everywhere you may think of online. Some monitoring of your finances would be a help as it gives a shame line that you wouldnt cross as you feel it lets people down. Its not about being a baby. Its willingness to know that it had us beat and defensive steps are crucial. I was very happy to be monitored because I needed to build some trust and a pride in doing the right thing. I will never regain full trust but thats ok because its better than feeling suicidal while stumbling home to no food in the cupboards

It took me 10 months after joining the forum before I finally realised Im going to tackle this properly. I just saying that is an addiction that can come out of the blue if you relax any guard.

Im sure you will sort it all out but keep fully aware that the controlling part of mind does try and get its own way.

Best wishes

Hope that you're managing to stay strong. I get what you mean by not handing responsibilty to someone else as (although I have only just tried this so I'm still figuring it out) it seems a diversionary tactic and does not tackle the problem head on. The simplest solution is to just not gamble. Also, at least for me, admitting the lack of control still seems ridiculous given how disciplined I can be in other areas of my life. Still, portioning at least some of your savings into a trustee's care may be an idea as if all else fails and you do relapse, at least you have some sort of buffer.

Lizzy is spot on with how to deal with payday. Get it spent on the necessitites to cover yourself for the next month or few weeks. I also find taking out cash for my leisure activities means that I'm far more thrifty and greater consider what I spend my money doing.

P.S. I've started reading 'The Chimp Paradox' and, although I'm only 100 pages in, I'd recommend it. It's repetitive or simplistic at times but is relatable and sheds some light on your thought patterns

Admitting the lack of control is a very strong stand point. It takes strength to see the bigger picture that temptation is a dangerous option to prey on our addiction. It covers the first step of a proven stratergy that spans more than one addiction "acceptance". Your choices are yours and it is a case of "not gambling" but as compulsive gamblers we are not rational when it comes to that choice no matter what our situation in other areas of our lives. Just my opionon but it could be worth a fair few of your hard earned £'s in the near future.

Not saying it is the only way but if you are able to do this and make things easier why not?

All the best.

Daygone wrote:

Hope that you're managing to stay strong. I get what you mean by not handing responsibilty to someone else as (although I have only just tried this so I'm still figuring it out) it seems a diversionary tactic and does not tackle the problem head on. The simplest solution is to just not gamble. Also, at least for me, admitting the lack of control still seems ridiculous given how disciplined I can be in other areas of my life. Still, portioning at least some of your savings into a trustee's care may be an idea as if all else fails and you do relapse, at least you have some sort of buffer.

Ah but it is tackling the problem head on and thats where you are scared and confused. We were not in control of our own minds and that is what you have to come to terms with and learn about.

Strong blocks do tackle the problem and its about being ready to think I didnt know what I was doing with money anyway so Im best off without most of it while somebody holds it for me.

What you live on is an allowance that allows you to function. That allowance can be set based on individual circumstances. It gives as little spare cash as possible without an explanation and receipts being provided. It also means that if you gamble a sneaky 20 you will have some explaining to do and it just makes it obvious you have been gambling. It protects vital money for rent and mortgages.

I am now allowed a credit card with a small balance but the backup is held in savings elsewhere and I am not allowed to increase the limit. It was only after I had proved myself for a good while and it eases their need to do regular transfers. Reports and transaction statements are shown regularly. If they see cash withdrawals I have some explaining to do so its just for bills that need paying...its not for galavanting about and luxury purchases. If I come to them and say Ive got problems paying my way they will want to see transactions and would know I had been frittering cash and gambling again. That balance on there is my max living allowance. I want that. I love them and I dont love the gambling dens

I am open honest and I also have self exclusions everywhere local and where I work, travel through. I dont want to gamble now and I have passed these tests. Had I failed we would have discussed other options but a self exclusion has kept me out and I have no wish or urges to return

You need to be ready for this and it will feel a relief when you are ready. Its not about being a baby and it does work while the mind heals. In the early days the gambling urges will not be able to realise themselves or the damage will be very limited. Anyone monitoring you properly will suss what you have been up to. Its about giving you a reality check because gamblers fool themselves and lie to themselves.

You need to understand that willpower alone is not enough to fight a mind control disorder and illness. A gambling addiction is a mental illness/ mind control disorder and I will not shy away from those facts.

If it was just a case of casual willpower this forum would not exist as nobody would need it. You need to be fully aware what you are dealing with and you need to fear and respect it.

I never thought I could get addicted to anything but I have been a gambling addict for 40 years. I never really thought I was addicted but its crystal clear I have been a machine binge addict since the age of 12. I am fairly intelligent I can be very clever/careful with money yet I am also a machine addict and can never be complacent....Thats how dangerous and confusing this addiction is.

Addicts get scared when they know it has to come to a stop because they have been craving that fix. Its just like any cold turkey period but it has to be done

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Hi Joydivider,

I get where you are coming from. But, I will only feel more defeated and deflated if I hand over control to someone else. Perhaps, it varies with personality. I do not think I am a gambler by nature. Circumstances got me involved, natural chasing losses made it worse, and some personal unhappiness did not let me come out of it. I have not gambled for few days now and I almost cannot recognise what a person I was for past few months. Things are not all roses yet but I am not crying in mute.

Some really strong urges are trying to get a grip on me. I have made another online account (self-excluded from many others) but have not deposited the money and will not. Some of the stories in this forum are almost like a mirror image. I am still thinking how I need to recoup my losses but not by gambling. I think I have some extra decent skills and trying to get something out of them these days. Lets see where it goes...

What I feel is above all it is self-control and self-awareness of wanting to stop? You could put any blocks, hand control, but if you wish to gamble, you will find a way to do it.

I am not missing it. I am just angry at myself for doing such a thing and not stopping at the right time. Possessed I was! Once I have come clean to my wife, i feel so much lighter and normal.

Well Its up to you how you deal with things and I dont know your full gambling history. Nobody will force you to do anything you dont want to do. You talk about urges and you talk about control in the same breath.

Im just giving you food for thought about an addiction that arises out of the blue. I have gone periods without gambling in the past but it didnt mean I was in control. The binges and urges could come in an instant based on all sorts of thing like anxiety to some false thought pretending to be rational like Ive got an afternoon to spare so I will just casually win me some money...... just a tenner maybe twenty cant hurt (even though I have never really stopped after a tenner)

Its that wet tuesday afternoon when instantly you think you will have a clever flutter....... you are going to be clever this time.... not like the past.... stuff those people on the forum because they wont know. Then next thing you know you out of control but cant stop the chasing or walk away....then you end up rubbing your head again because all your money has gone. You thought you knew what was happening but have been playing for the dopamine and adrenaline. Then its the come down like any drug because gambling acts like a drug even though its not a substance

By the time we have reached this forum its long past being silly or a casual blip. How many times have you gambled to extinction?

You use the classic line that we can all gamble if we really want to. That is no excuse for avoiding blocking measures. Of course we could as nobody is physically restraining me. I dont want gambling in my life because Im compulsive and a hopeless addict when gambling

I dont want to gamble and my blocks are pretty good because I made the effort to save myself. Its also backed up with knowing Im a danger to myself now and I have reset my mind about gambling...Its a mugs game and nobody in this world is offering easy life changing odds.

Im just making you think and its not a forum full of there there and take care platitudes because this addiction kills people.

Good software blocks are difficult to get round unless you had a mind to bypass them anyway. Same with local exclusions...if you think you are going to put a hat and sunglasses on and chance it, those blocks are not useful for you. I made sure the bookies know who I am on record and that I dont want to go in there anyway. Its a proper line of shame that I have never broken. Its always a good idea to have someone on your side. Its doesnt make you less of a man by admitting you have a problem.

I may have spoken like you at one point then I kept relapsing until I was relapsing every six days because I was telling myself I had been good for five, Its a crazy delusional addiction.

I am a proud person but that craving had me beat and I needed all the help I could get.

So all I am saying is take care and the advice here is tried tested and trusted.

Best wishes to you